KDIT-CD When a crowded subway is invaded by an obnoxious drunk, Mike violates one of his strongest principles. 2026-08-11 The Bunker home is ravaged by fire -- then by Archie -- in an effort to collect more insurance money. 2026-08-11 Melanie and Jack want to add spice to their relationship; Victoria becomes a vodka spokesperson; Joy's new hairstyle backfires; Elka and Mayor Deacon have an affair. 2026-08-11 Joy helps Melanie convince Jenna to attend medical school; Victoria obsesses about a nude scene; Elka takes Lance, the "Councilman for the Day," under her wing. 2026-08-11 Laura spends a night alone in the house when Rob and Richie go fishing. 2026-08-11 The Petrie home becomes a command post when government agents move in. 2026-08-11 Carla's offspring are guinea pigs for Rebecca and Sam; Cliff attempts to videotape Woody and Kelly. 2026-08-11 Carla fears that Boston Celtics forward Kevin McHale is turning into one of the bar bunch; Lilith gets a new hairdo. 2026-08-11 A couple of cabbies quickly claim responsibility when Elaine begins receiving mysterious love messages from a secret admirer. 2026-08-11 Oscar learns that Felix's new girlfriend is not just the librarian he thinks she is. 2026-08-11 After striking up a friendly conversation while waiting in line at the bank, Bob is held hostage when the man -- suspected of robbing the bank -- hides out in his office. 2026-08-11 Max has to fight his way to the altar to be on time for his wedding. 2026-08-11 Ralph tests a hair-growing formula on his boss. 2026-08-11 Bilko introduces Army intellectuals to the world of gambling. 2026-08-11 Guest Gloria Swanson arrives for the Q&A, but she only has eyes for Lyle; sketches include a "Carol & Sis" where the Bradfords try to discourage an elevator operator who only has eyes for Carol. 2026-08-11 A paroled bookie returns to his old ways. 2026-08-11 Connie joins the faculty band to be close to the conductor Mr. Boynton. 2026-08-11 Confusion reigns when the Nelsons buy two new chairs for the living room. 2026-08-11 Ann is trapped during a weekend alone in Brewster. 2026-08-11 Jesse has second thoughts about his engagement when his old girlfriend re-enters his life. 2026-08-11 Danny's new girlfriend (Debra Sandlund) has a mischievous 11-year-old son (Jordan Christopher Michael). 2026-08-11 A love letter intended for D.J. falls into the wrong hands and gets passed around the house. 2026-08-11 Jesse and Joey go on a camping trip, leaving Danny behind to run the house. 2026-08-11 Alice decides the Bradys no longer need her and prepares to leave. 2026-08-11 Bill plays detective after he discovers thefts on a construction site. 2026-08-11 Danny attempts to promote the talents of a teenage singer (Brenda Lee), but later realizes her education is more important. 2026-08-11 Mary convinces a theater group to let Donna direct. 2026-08-11 Mike announces he has found true love. 2026-08-11 Chip and his pal Ernie go treasure hunting. 2026-08-11 Lucy's date for a swanky party turns out to be a jewel thief. 2026-08-11 Lucy finds a way to pay for the volunteer fire department's uniforms. 2026-08-11 Ethel uses a deck of cards to tell Lucy's fortune, and when the ace of spades ends up next to Lucy's cards, the redhead is shocked to find out it means death. After misconstruing Ricky's phone conversation, Lucy thinks Ricky is trying to kill her. 2026-08-11 After Ricky cuts off her allowance, Lucy goes on the radio show "Females Are Fabulous" to earn money; in order to win the money, she has to make Ricky believe she's been married before. 2026-08-11 Rob and Laura, having learned they are not legally married, make plans to elope. 2026-08-11 Rhoda returns from a vacation in New York and announces her decision to move there. 2026-08-11 Chachi decides to give up his dreams of rock stardom and take a more practical job. 2026-08-11 Carmine auditions to play a boxer in a movie after Rhonda convinces her she is right for the part. 2026-08-11 An actress (Mary Martin) rekindles romance; a shy man (Ben Murphy) copes with a jealous love; a father-in-law (Milton Berle) meddles. 2026-08-11 A landlady plans to sue a tenant; a professor meets his replacement; a magician's daughter falls in love. 2026-08-11 Granny thinks she has captured Gen. Grant and sets out to woo him by donning a bathing suit. 2026-08-11 Jethro can't get a part in a television series, but Elly's pet ape wins a starring role. 2026-08-11 A family war erupts when Vint and Naomi want to switch bedrooms with Bubba. 2026-08-11 When Bubba comes home tipsy, Mama is reminded of a drunken incident involving Eunice. 2026-08-11 Fearful that his days are numbered, Fred prepares a will and summons everyone to an advance reading. 2026-08-11 Fred organizes a protest against a store that discriminates against older citizens. 2026-08-11 A game of Scrabble causes a huge fight between Gloria and Mike, forcing Mike to spend the night with Archie. 2026-08-12 The newspaper accuses Archie's "Kings of Queens" club of being bigoted, which causes them to fear protests and the loss of their tax-exempt status. 2026-08-12 When Melanie feels smothered by Jack, she gets Frankie's help; Victoria's father visits with an announcement; Elka fights off Alex's advances. 2026-08-12 Joy's younger sister visits; Melanie helps Victoria write a children's book; Elka and Mamie Sue welcome British royalty. 2026-08-12 Rob's autobiography is bought by Alan Brady for a television series. 2026-08-12 Rob and Laura are dismayed by Millie's jealousy of their new neighbors. 2026-08-12 Sam dispatches Carla to get revenge on John Allen Hill; on horseback, Cliff suffers from pony distress. 2026-08-12 Henri (Anthony Cistaro) upsets Woody's apple cart by proposing to Kelly (Jackie Swanson); Frasier turns to the Orient for pain relief. 2026-08-12 Fearing that his girlfriend, Zena, will break up with him, Louie finally decides to meet her parents; nervous Louie pays Alex to accompany him and to make sure that he doesn't step out of line. 2026-08-12 Oscar's young niece arrives at the apartment in an advanced state of pregnancy after running away from home. 2026-08-12 Bob offers to help Carol's husband, Larry, with his travel agency. In return, Larry turns the psychologist's reception area into a mini-Polynesian village. 2026-08-12 Smart's new maid is more than she seems, and 99 and the Chief help Max to realize it. 2026-08-12 Part 1/2. Hoping to win cash and prizes, Ralph and Ed enter as many box-top contests as they can. 2026-08-12 Modeling agencies clamor for Bilko's face. 2026-08-12 Paul Sand and Eydie Gormé guest star. Including a salute to movie series such as "Dr. Kildare"; Paul and Eydie join Carol for an outrageous werewolf sketch. 2026-08-12 Toody opposes Muldoon for club president. 2026-08-12 Connie and Mr. Boynton jeopardize Mr. Conklin's promotion when they mistakenly assume that he is expecting a baby. 2026-08-12 Ricky and David want revenge for not being invited to Will's birthday party. 2026-08-12 Ann thinks she owes $2600 to the IRS. 2026-08-12 D.J. wants to be a working girl, but the cost is her first failing grade. 2026-08-12 Danny is out to prove himself when D.J. asks only Jesse and Joey to play at her fund-raiser. 2026-08-12 Stephanie fears she will be shunned at school with her new glasses. 2026-08-12 Michelle learns about caring for a pet when she wins a goldfish at a carnival. 2026-08-12 When Jan develops an allergy, it is feared that she is allergic to her new father. 2026-08-12 Bill has to look after the children when French is out of town. 2026-08-12 Danny is furious when his landlord doesn't invite him to a party. 2026-08-12 Donna proposes a camping trip to placate Jeff. 2026-08-12 Chip and Ernie conclude the world is ending. 2026-08-12 Bub tries to cover his baldness for a woman's visit. 2026-08-12 Lucy teaches Kim about shopping in a supermarket. 2026-08-12 Lucy, Viv and their Cub Scout troop head for Washington, D.C. 2026-08-12 Lucy wants to be in Ricky's act when an injured Buffo the Clown arrives at her apartment; she performs a slapstick routine with Ricky and a cello, and impersonates a seal; everyone is shocked when a TV network offers her a contract. 2026-08-12 To get on the good side of a producer who's interested in hiring Ricky -- and who also happens to be interested in numerology -- Lucy holds a seance, but she has to provide the voice for one of the spirits. 2026-08-12 Through Ritchie's toy intercom, Rob and Laura tune in on a conversation at the Helpers. 2026-08-12 Upon meeting an old boyfriend and his fiancée, Mary sets off an unexpected chain of events. 2026-08-12 Jenny Piccalo spreads a racy rumor about the new girl in school. 2026-08-12 The girls avenge their treatment at the hands of a nasty singing star by selling gossip. 2026-08-12 The luxury liner sails on a Country Music Jamboree Cruise; guests Mel Tillis, Tanya Tucker, Minnie Pearl, Lulu Roman. 2026-08-12 The luxury liner sails on a Country Music Jamboree Cruise; guests Mel Tillis, Tanya Tucker, Minnie Pearl, Lulu Roman. 2026-08-12 Granny paints a picture to help Mrs. Drysdale win the Beverly Hills Culture Committee Award. 2026-08-12 Despite Granny's protests, Jed hires a housekeeper who quickly gets on Granny's nerves. 2026-08-12 Mama is jealous when Iola acquires a new best friend. 2026-08-12 Iola, Bubba and Mama fantasize about marriage after attending a wedding. Guest star: Joseph Campanella. 2026-08-12 Fred hits a lucky gambling streak when he and Lamont need money to buy the Sanford Arms. 2026-08-12 Fred traces his background and is told he is Jewish and a descendant of King Solomon. 2026-08-12 Archie and Barney's friendship becomes strained when Archie retaliates after being continually harassed by Barney's unleashed dog. When he accidentally runs the dog over and breaks its leg, he makes matters a lot worse. 2026-08-13