WTZP-LD Doug has to transport penguins to the Albany zoo, forcing him to cancel romantic Valentine's Day plans with Carrie. 2026-09-03 Doug and Carrie feel insecure about their lives after they accidentally pick up the exciting pictures of another couple. 2026-09-03 Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money. 2026-09-03 Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances. 2026-09-03 Charlie attempts to guide Jake down the path of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for the holidays. 2026-09-03 Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith. 2026-09-03 When Benny learns that George's father is wealthy, she concocts a get-rich-quick scheme that jeopardizes George's job. 2026-09-03 George and Angie invite ex-gang member Marisol to stay with them, but trouble erupts when she becomes a role model for Carmen. 2026-09-03 Carmen's first day of school turns upside down when George misdirects his worry and concern; Max develops a crush on an older woman. 2026-09-03 George has to hide his concern when Ernie is made team leader at work; a cosmetics saleswoman (Hilary Duff) encourages Angie to lie to her clients. 2026-09-03 Familial tensions mar the Conners' first Thanksgiving as members of the nouveau riche. 2026-09-03 Roseanne worries about changes she has made when Dan announces that he is coming home. 2026-09-03 Fran (Fran Drescher) becomes a bargaining chip when Maxwell (Charles Shaughnessy) tries to cast a soap star (Stephen Nichols) in a new play. 2026-09-03 When Maxwell's (Charles Shaughnessy) childhood nanny (Cloris Leachman) visits, she is appalled by Fran's (Fran Drescher) unique child-care methods. 2026-09-03 For her 30th birthday, Fran's mother gives her a cemetery plot as a gift to introduce her to an eligible funeral director. 2026-09-03 Fran casts Grace as the lead in the school pageant, but when Maxwell becomes the producer the girl develops stage fright. 2026-09-03 Abishola's visit to the sock factory during a nurse's strike puts extra pressure on Bob to make the factory successful. 2026-09-03 When Abishola's husband makes a surprise visit, Bob sees this as a perfect opportunity for Abishola to ask for a divorce; Abishola is surprised when past feelings for her husband come up. 2026-09-03 Paid programming. 2026-09-03 Trusted brand Jacuzzi Bath Remodel and interior designer Christina Hall share their secrets on how you can easily and affordably transform your bathroom into a gorgeous custom, safe, stylish space in 1 day! Call for a FREE quote & installation. 2026-09-03 Fran decides to date a blind man after she is convinced by C.C. that men admire her only for her looks. 2026-09-03 Fran (Fran Drescher) chaperones Maggie on a date with an older man (Brian Bloom) and falls for the man's 25-year-old friend (Sean Kanan). 2026-09-03 Fran helps Brighton when his failing science grades force Maxwell to threaten him with military school. 2026-09-03 Fran lands a weekly segment on a popular talk show, causing problems in her relationship with Maxwell. 2026-09-03 Al assumes a position of power in his neighborhood when Kelly dates a politician (Lane Davies). 2026-09-03 Buck is forced to take to the streets when the Bundys neglect to feed him. 2026-09-03 Peg redecorates the bedroom for an interior design class assignment, but Al takes offense. 2026-09-03 Al's football trophy is stolen while he is guarding his alma mater. 2026-09-03 When Doug gets caught in a lie to avoid going to the opera, he and Carrie decide to be honest with each other in the future. 2026-09-03 After discovering that Arthur and his estranged half brother, Skitch (guest star Shelley Berman), inherited their aunt's home 10 years ago, Doug hatches a plan to reunite the siblings and get them to move in together. 2026-09-03 Dan returns home for Christmas, and he, Roseanne and the rest of the family realize how lucky they are. 2026-09-03 Jackie forces Dan to reveal the truth to Roseanne; D.J. wants to videotape Darlene giving birth. 2026-09-03 Dan prepares to return to California while Roseanne tries to assess where their marriage is headed; D.J. meets his soul mate. 2026-09-03 Family and friends try to cheer up heartbroken Roseanne after she locks herself in her room. 2026-09-03 Roseanne bonds with the son (James Brolin) of her former boss and learns some shocking news about Lanford's future. 2026-09-03 Roseanne discovers an attraction to Edgar Wellman Jr. (James Brolin) and realizes he feels the same way about her. 2026-09-03 A young upstart Vanessa is brought in to co-manage following a merger, so George pulls out all the stops. 2026-09-03 George accuses his mother of being a Scrooge, but she might just prove him wrong when mother and son compromise to help Max realize his dream of meeting his idol, BMX bike racing champion Dave Mirra. 2026-09-03 Carmen considers using birth control, and George and Angie try to convince her not to sleep with her boyfriend. 2026-09-03 Ernie considers marrying a troubled woman, and George risks their friendship to keep him from making a huge mistake. 2026-09-03 On a bear hunt in Wanker County, Al and Bud triumphantly bag a hibernating bear. 2026-09-03 Forced from their mountain retreat, Al and the NO MA'AM guys find lodging in a bomb shelter. 2026-09-03 Peg's mother gets a job as a 976-sex phone operator to help with Christmas expenses. 2026-09-03 Al and Peg join Peg's parents on a marriage-encounter weekend. 2026-09-03 Bud's life literally depends on getting Kelly to finish the exercise video she is signed to do. 2026-09-03 Bud unwittingly tapes a mobster's confession while shooting Kelly's video. 2026-09-03 A relative rivalry erupts after Doug reluctantly helps get his cousin Danny promoted to driver at IPS; Holly accidentally insults Arthur. 2026-09-03 Carrie can't stop buying expensive clothes, and then taking them back to the shops within a few days. Meanwhile, Spence's new girlfriend is so afraid of his dog she tells him to decide who he wants, the dog or her. 2026-09-03 Doug and Carrie borrow twin beds while waiting for a new bed to be delivered and discover that doing things separately has advantages. 2026-09-04 Upset about not getting his way after Carrie agrees to Arthur's choices for dinner and a movie rental, Doug tries to manipulate him into wanting the same things he does. 2026-09-04 Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his living room when he returns home. 2026-09-04 A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested in the lawyer who takes Alan's case. 2026-09-04 When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person; will he be able to pull it off? 2026-09-04 Charlie returns from Las Vegas with the woman he married there, who is not Chelsea; Chelsea's dad arrives in town on a visit with his boyfriend. 2026-09-04 When George and Angie run into financial trouble, Benny reaches out to the second wife of George's estranged father. 2026-09-04 When George finally decides to approach his estranged father, Manny Lopez, his solitary journey is transformed into a family vacation and a day of reckoning for Benny. 2026-09-04 George unknowingly commits a felony while awaiting President Bush's arrival at the factory, resulting in the Secret Service paying a visit to his home. 2026-09-04 George is arrested for assaulting his father; Manny wants to clear the air so he drops the charges and George invites him over to dinner; on the same night Benny is bringing her younger boyfriend, Randy, over to meet George. 2026-09-04 Roseanne and Dan take steps to reconcile; Darlene heads to the hospital. 2026-09-04 Doctors offer little hope when Darlene's baby is born prematurely, but Roseanne remains confident the baby will survive. 2026-09-04 Maxwell's ex-girlfriend, a 1960s supermodel, decides that Maggie has what it takes and arranges a photo session. 2026-09-04 When a plumber brings his granddaughter along to fix the Sheffield's broken shower, Brighton gets his first kiss. 2026-09-04 After examining Grace for the flu, the doctor checks Fran's throat and schedules her for a tonsillectomy. 2026-09-04 The entire Sheffield household spends the weekend at Fran's parents' when they are stranded by a blizzard. 2026-09-04 Bob and Abishola are at odds over whether Dele is ready to get behind the wheel and decide to take matters into their own hands; Christina offers Douglas some work advice only to watch him claim her ideas as his own. 2026-09-04 With Abishola's husband adamant that he'll never agree to a divorce, Bob and Abishola grow disheartened that they will never be able to get married. 2026-09-04 Paid programming. 2026-09-04 Paid programming. 2026-09-04 Fran (Fran Drescher) plays matchmaker to expedite the departure of her recently evicted Aunt Frieda (Lainie Kazan). Guest star: Donald O'Connor. 2026-09-04 Fran's attempt to reunite Maxwell with his estranged father and stepmother goes awry when the Fines get a bad tip. 2026-09-04 Jay Leno (guest starring as himself) unwittingly saves Fran (Fran Drescher) from going to jail after she and Maxwell (Charles Shaughnessy) appeal her tax audit. Guest star: Rich Little. 2026-09-04 Nigel Sheffield (Harry Van Gorkum), rather than Maxwell, pops the question to Fran (Fran Drescher), who agrees to join him in London. Guest star: Shirley Jones. 2026-09-04 Al becomes obsessed with an old song that he hears on the radio. 2026-09-04 The Bundys decide whether to give their last $100 to Bud or Kelly. 2026-09-04 Bud and Kelly try earning their own money when Al refuses assistance. 2026-09-04 After losing a bet, Al advises a boxer to abandon his career. 2026-09-04 Carrie discovers Doug's parents have shielded him from the truth for years by replacing his dog with look-alikes. 2026-09-04 Doug asks Arthur to train him at ping-pong so that he can beat Carrie, and Spence is jealous when his girlfriend is promoted to waitress at the bowling alley. 2026-09-04 Jackie and Mark attend a women's wrestling match; D.J. is not prepared for sex. 2026-09-04 Two television programmers entice Roseanne to sell her life story; Bev unwittingly tells stories about Roseanne to a tabloid reporter. 2026-09-04 Roseanne and Dan are surprised by the arrival of Dan's mom, who has been released from a psychiatric hospital. 2026-09-04 Darlene and David bring home their baby girl. 2026-09-04 The Conners and friends gather when Darlene and David bring home their baby girl. 2026-09-04 Roseanne and Dan adjust to living under the same roof with Darlene and her two children; Becky announces she is going to be a surrogate to make extra money. 2026-09-04 George is unhappy with Max's less-than-compassionate dentist so he asks his bosses to change the company dental plan. 2026-09-04 George tries to get Max help in school by telling his long-lost sister, Linda, who is the superintendent of schools, that she was given up for adoption at birth. 2026-09-04 When a major earthquake shakes Los Angeles, George's repressed childhood fears resurface. Despite a positive assessment of the house from a contractor, George refuses to go back in, and he and Carmen set up a tent in the backyard. 2026-09-04 When Benny demands cash for a box of George's childhood mementos, George learns some painful truths about his boyhood. 2026-09-04 Al and archenemy Floyd decide to go national with Bud's school project, a "Women of Trumaine" calendar. 2026-09-04 Kelly and friends seduce Bud and his fraternity brothers out of their spring break tickets to Fort Lauderdale. 2026-09-04 Al concocts a scheme to have Kelly win the $100,000 prize in the beauty contest he is judging. 2026-09-04 Jefferson gets a tattoo that he hopes will please Marcy, but the tattoo artist makes a little mistake. 2026-09-04 The Japanese owner (Pat Morita) of Marcy's bank falls in love with Al's old Dodge. 2026-09-04 Bud is charged with misconduct while taking at study break at the library. 2026-09-04 Doug and Carrie decide to renew their wedding vows, then try to cancel the ceremony; Arthur debates keeping his wedding present for himself. 2026-09-04 Newly slim Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic getaway to a resort in the mountains, but she discovers that he was there with an old girlfriend. 2026-09-04 Newly slim Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic getaway to a resort in the mountains, but she discovers that he had been there with an old girlfriend. 2026-09-05