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Col. Potter decides to paint a picture of the 4077th crew for Mildred's birthday.

While Hawkeye is serving as paymaster, a goat eats $22,000 in cash.

Dreaded Col. Bucholtz comes to inspect the nursing staff.

Tricks seem to overrule treats on Halloween when a rowdy group of Marines ends up as patients. Guest starring George Wendt and Andrew Dice Clay.

Seeking refuge from a storm, Festus stumbles into a cave where an elderly Indian lies dying.

A former lawman saves Matt's life then agrees to take his place while the marshal's wounds heal.

A prejudiced jury sits in judgment of a stern, quiet mountain man accused of committing three wanton murders.

Matt tries to catch a cold-eyed gunslinger who has killed a sheriff and a priest.

An elderly trailblazer sets out to track down the slayer of a woman who had befriended him.

Andy uses his wits to help a struggling salesman, despite strong pressure to put him out of business.

With the courthouse full of moonshiners, Otis has to serve his jail time for public intoxication at the Taylor house under the supervision of Aunt Bee.

Andy and Barney exert all their efforts to convince local farmer Rafe Hollister to take his tetanus shot when he refuses.

Andy and Barney travel to Raleigh on a business trip and get involved in the capture of a jewel thief in their hotel.

A misunderstanding leads Andy and Aunt Bee to believe that they are both anxious to get married.

Barney interferes with Andy's attempts to romance Mayberry's County Nurse, Mary Simpson; when Andy suggests to Barney that he and Mary need some alone time, Barney immediately thinks that they are getting married.

Ray brings home an adult board game in an attempt to spice things up with Debra.

Frank becomes very jealous when Marie starts spending more time with their friend Marco, the new owner of Nemo's restaurant.

Debra tries to turn the tables after Ray loses his wedding ring and is propositioned by an attractive woman.

Marie makes a provocative sculpture and gives it to Ray and Debra.

Ray and Debra lie to Frank about the source of injuries they incurred during romance.

Debra and Marie hope that Robert will be stirred to action when they fix up Amy with Raymond's friend Gianni.

While watching the twins play basketball, Ray has a hard time dealing with the fact that Geoffrey is a terrible athlete.

Doug's elation at winning two tickets to the NCAA Final Four turns to guilt when Carrie prompts him to take Arthur instead of Deacon.

Holly is upset when she learns Carrie was using her to have access to her van; Doug has an argument with a waitress who takes too long to deliver his food.

Carrie is overcome with guilt when she gets a digital music player for free because of the cashier's inattention.

Spence pretends to be Carrie's husband at a work event when a client finds Doug to be disagreeable; Arthur's upset he isn't the center of attention.

When Carrie discovers that her and Doug's ski weekend getaway was motivated by a promotion for a free plasma TV that Doug wants, her romantic mood sours.

When their neighbor passes away, Carrie convinces Doug it would be a smart investment to buy the house and sell it for profit.

Jerry and his friends lose their car in the multilevel parking garage at a huge mall.

Jerry's attempt to increase business at a small café backfires; George regrets agreeing to an IQ test.

Jerry is shocked to hear the naughty suggestions on his tape recorder; George sees Elaine in a new light.

Jerry straddles the fence regarding his latest flame (Tawny Kitaen); George's attention is focused on his date's (Susan Diol) nose.

After 10 dates, Christine faces a critical moment in her relationship with Burton, whether to let him meet her son. When she relents, she is thrown for a loop.

Christine's attempt to promote racial and ethnic diversity at her son's exclusive private school has unintended consequences.

Following Christine's breakup with Burton, everyone expects Christine to fall apart emotionally, but she insists she is fine and looking forward to spending time with her best friend: herself. Christine realizes she really did care for Burton.

Christine refuses to give in to pressure to have a ritzy celebration for Ritchie's birthday and hosts an arts-and-crafts party at home.

Valerie Bertinelli and Sunny Anderson are joining Drew for the news and Val is telling Drew about her Lifetime movie. Claire Wadsworth and Nikki Hill are in the kitchen for some cooking with Drew!

Jill Kargman tells Drew about her new movie "Influenced.".

Barney returns to Mayberry to attend his high-school reunion.

Barney is shamed into displaying his "legendary" courage by going after an escaped convict.

Aunt Bee collects insurance for the loss of an antique pin, but finds it after she has spent the money.

An impostor takes the town of Mayberry when he introduces himself as Clarence Earp, descendant of the famous Wyatt.

Maj. Reddish tries to bribe an injured North Korean pilot to defect; Charles falls in love with a Red Cross worker.

B.J. attempts to pull off the ultimate practical joke on Hawkeye.

A nurse who was close to Hawkeye is killed; Klinger tries to talk Charles into backing a business venture.

Hawkeye and Charles set out to test the crew's gullibility when they announce that Marilyn Monroe is due to arrive.

A bushwhacked Matt will die or become paralyzed unless a bullet is removed.

Festus and Newley overpower outlaws transferring stolen gold from a train to a wagon and head off with the wagon and the gold.

Doc must decide whether to risk operating on the gravely wounded Matt.

Seven homeless children spend Christmas on their way from a Kansas orphanage to California.

A man becomes caught up in a falsified rustling charge, jailbreak and murder.

Floyd hires a second barber, Medwin, when his barbershop gets too hectic. The shop flourishes, but Andy becomes suspicious when he sees the same men going into the shop every day.

J. Howard Jackson, a big-shot newspaper publisher, accuses Andy of misconduct in office after Andy fines him for a traffic violation.

Barney's cousin Virgil overcomes his awkwardness as soon as he learns that people have confidence in him.

Otis overcomes his weakness for liquor and impresses his relatives when Andy makes him a temporary deputy.

When Opie starts talking about Mr. McBeevee, Andy and Barney suspect he has an imaginary friend.

Peggy McMillan and Andy get along fine until he learns her father is rich.

Debra isn't sure what to think when her father brings an older female companion to Thanksgiving dinner.

Robert involves Ray in a complicated plot when he discovers that the woman he is dating thinks he is Ray.

Frank becomes a wanted man after he catches the ball at a college football game and refuses to give it back to the kicker.

A Christmas letter from Marie and Debra causes a family tiff.

Ray asserts his rights as king of the castle after complaining that Debra makes all the household decisions.

Debra hurts Frank's feelings when the family is stranded together during a snowstorm.

Ray vows to win the grand prize of the Frontier Girls cookie drive when Ally's troop leader targets his parents' house.

Doug convinces Carrie to take pole dancing lessons but is disappointed when she puts on a show for him.

Carrie and Doug decide marriage counseling is in order and turn to their neighbor for help, but his techniques only make things worse.

Carrie learns that in the beginning of their relationship Doug lied to her about getting a job at IPS so she would sleep with him.

Doug tries to impress new driver Jared when he learns he was the only one at IPS not invited to Jared's barbecue.

The guys' neighborhood restaurant names a new sandwich after Deacon, so Doug determines to get some kind of food named after himself.

Carrie discovers that Doug's frequent trips to the hair salon are due to his attractive new hairstylist.

After a party, and much to the host's chagrin, Jerry and Elaine wait for Kramer to pick them up.

Elaine breaks up with her 66-year-old beau (Edward Penn), who suffers a stroke in front of Jerry's apartment.

Jerry is unintentionally responsible for Elaine's romantic woes; George gives Elaine a cashmere sweater.

Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer have unique experiences on their subway rides.

Christine tries to pull herself together to make a good impression at parents' night at Ritchie's school, but is caught off guard when new Christine shows up as well.

Christine's former marriage counselor comes into the gym, leading to some awkward moments. When Christine mentions this to Richard, his cryptic reaction leads her to question whether the counselor acted in their best interest.

Christine objects when Richard and new Christine want to take Ritchie to a Rolling Stones concert. Fearing that Ritchie is too young to be exposed to sex, drugs and rock and roll vices on display at a Rolling Stones concert, Christine forbids it.

Relief at meeting another working mother at her son's school vanishes when Christine learns where the woman actually works.

The Conner family reacts with typical humor when a tornado threatens Lanford.

The Conners have a corpse in their kitchen, which interferes with Dan's attempts to repair the refrigerator.

Jackie's apartment is uninhabitable so she spends a few days at the Conners'; an unexpected visit from Roseanne's parents creates havoc.

A tough, nit-picking new supervisor at the factory makes life unbearable for all the employees, including a fed-up Roseanne; pushed to her limit, Roseanne cuts a deal with the devil.

Becky suffers major public embarrassment at school, when she passes gas during a presentation before her fellow students; Roseanne and Dan make an ill-fated attempt to console Becky after she is humiliated at school.

Roseanne refuses to support Jackie when she decides to become a police officer and announces she's going to the police academy; this rekindles an old sibling rivalry that leads to an all out wrestling match in the Conner living room.

Roseanne is applying for the new job; the interview is a success but unfortunately Roseanne has no idea about computers.

Roseanne is offered a temporary job by Dan's boss; Roseanne invites him for dinner; Dan's lonely boss, Burt, comes for dinner and desperately tries to win the family's affections.

Roseanne is unhappy about Jackie leaving for officer training camp; Darlene and Becky attend a party for older teenagers.

Roseanne is disturbed when one of Dan's poker buddies gives her a passionate kiss.

The Conner family holds a contest to see who can play the scariest Halloween trick.

Roseanne has a Broadway style fantasy after seeking a peaceful moment in the bathtub.

Dan's and Roseanne's parents come to Lanford for a big Thanksgiving Day celebration.

Roseanne tries to talk Darlene into reciting her prize-winning poem to the entire school.

Roseanne and Dan drift apart after Roseanne takes a night job at the Lobo Lounge.

Becky wages a war of silence against her mother after a feud between the two.

Roseanne tries to improve her relationship with her obnoxious teenage boss by inviting him home for dinner.

Roseanne, Dan and DJ visit Roseanne's parents; Becky stays home alone; she is supposed to be studying with her girlfriend Dana, but they get drunk instead.

Roseanne must visit her parents, so she hands over household tasks to her sister Jackie; Roseanne is very worried about how Jackie will handle it.

George worries over gaining the upper hand in his current romance.

Elaine and Jerry arrange a date for George with one of her unattached friends (Maggie Jakobson).

Jerry's baseball hero, Keith Hernandez, falls for Elaine; George schemes to extend his unemployment benefits.

Jerry's baseball hero, Keith Hernandez, falls for Elaine; George schemes to extend his unemployment benefits.

Jerry and George commandeer a limousine headed for a neo-Nazi rally.

Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver (Melinda McGraw); George skips town to escape an irate husband.

After Jerry breaks up with his new girlfriend (Catherine Keener), she resorts to someone else's words to woo him back.

George and Elaine have some explaining to do when they take Jerry's car for a ride.

Becoming annoyed at Kramer's invasions of privacy, Jerry takes away his spare key. Kramer, shaken, decides to leave for California to pursue an acting career.

When Jerry is booked to appear on "The Tonight Show,"' he takes George with him to Los Angeles to search for Kramer, who vanished in a huff months earlier.