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Chris wants in on the heist when he finds out that Meg is stealing from residents at a retirement community; the residents catch Chris and Meg and force them to listen to boring stories.

When Lois becomes a postal worker to pay for Stewie's private school, she finds an unsent letter from Peter that was meant for his old fling.

A satirical look at news, trends, pop culture, current events, politics, sports and entertainment.

A drunken Brian and Peter devour the holiday turkey the night before Thanksgiving; Chris becomes the man of the house in Peter's absence.

When Peter runs into Jesus at the mall and learns he's still a virgin, he enlists Quagmire and Cleveland to help get him a woman.

When Stewie and Brian use the time machine to help Chris learn about history, the three accidentally get stuck in the past.

When Brian takes the SATs for Meg but doesn't do very well, the family starts to doubt his intelligence; Peter tries to show Brian the upside of being stupid.

South Park citizens contend with widespread use of a racial slur.

An infestation of head lice plagues South Park Elementary; when Garrison refuses to name names, Cartman finds a way to detect who has lice so they can make fun of the unfortunate kid.

Hillary Clinton comes to South Park for a campaign rally; Cartman follows a lead on a possible terrorist attack.

Stan searches for the real story behind eggs and bunnies in the Easter ritual.

When Ms. Garrison is the victim of another failed relationship, she takes it out on the fourth-graders.

The boys attempt to find a solution to the increasing number of homeless people in South Park.

Cartman discovers the joys of having Tourette's syndrome; drunk with the power of saying whatever he wants without getting in trouble for it, he lines up National TV Coverage to take advantage of his new life with no filters.

Randy becomes a local hero when he thinks that he may have broken a world record.

Stan's superior skills on "Guitar Hero" damage his friendship with Kyle.

A secret list created by the girls in the fourth grade, rates every boy's looks from cutest to ugliest.

Cartman comes face to face with his own mortality when his routine tonsillectomy goes horribly wrong.

When the boys help Britney Spears get to the North Pole, they discover the shocking secret behind her popularity.

In a South Park homage to the 1981 film, Heavy Metal, the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze that's captured the junior high and under set.

The head of the World Canadian Bureau leads the country into a strike and the responsibility of brokering a settlement rests with the boys.

While Ms. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom.

Randy packs up his family and heads west when he wakes up to find the Internet is gone.

While the kids are on a field trip to a living museum, Cartman makes Butters sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center next door.

Butters stands with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese after a tragic event.

Wendy gets in trouble when she threatens to beat up Cartman after school.

While the country celebrates the outcome of the election, the new President-elect arrives at the White House prematurely.

The boys must embrace the latest fad to hit South Park Elementary or risk their status as the coolest kids in school.

The Goth Kids are angry when the other children can't tell the difference between a goth and a vampire.

Kenny takes his girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers' concert.

A vigilante rises from the trash and attempts to wipe out crime in the town of South Park.

Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.

Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys.

The kids come up with the funniest joke of all time while helping Jimmy with his comedy routine.

Randy comes up with a plan to help Stan win the Pinewood Derby.

Cartman dreams of living the life of a pirate.

Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother from paranormal forces.

Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him.

The boys sign up for the school wrestling club in an effort to become professional wrestlers.

Joe leads a manhunt around Quahog for Stewie, who auditions for the "American Idol" judges.

Brian and Stewie travel through alternate universes, including a world run by dogs where humans are pets, and a post-apocalyptic world.

After Brian teases Stewie for being small, Stewie invents a shrinking machine that results in both of them shrinking to a microscopic size.

Lois receives a surprising birthday present from her father, which leads to an unfortunate accident that leaves him dependent on Lois and the Griffins' care.

After Meg saves Stewie from a choking incident, Stewie makes it his personal mission to create a better life for Meg; Chris is sent to a vocational school.

To the surprise of all the Griffins, Meg makes the U.S. Olympic team as a biathlete and competes in the Winter Olympics.

Stewie and Brian compete for the inheritance of a wealthy, older heiress; Peter and Chris battle for Mr. Herbert's affection.

The brewery's new bosses decide to change the company's mascot; in an attempt to be crowned the new face of Pawtucket Ale, Peter and Brian go head-to-head.