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"Murder on the Orient Express" spoof.

Love song; Maurice Dribble.

A moviegoer overreacts; a pianist's story is told.

Train; Hotel Sordide.

Nicole (Staci Keanan) dreads the thought of her first Christmas without her mother. With Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser.

Michael (Paul Reiser) agrees to teach a night-school class, and perennial class clown Joey (Greg Evigan) is attending. With Staci Keanan and Florence Stanley.

Present and future Christmas-Hanukkah holidays create problems for Joey and Michael (Greg Evigan, Paul Reiser). With Staci Keanan and Florence Stanley.

Joey's childhood sweetheart falls for Michael.

Tootie's new boyfriend questions the real motives of her white friends.

A visit by Blair's handicapped cousin brings back a lifelong conflict.

Jo "picks up" an expensive gift for Mrs. Garrett's birthday.

Tootie's gossiping causes a rift between Blair, Jo and Nancy; it almost costs Mrs. Garrett her job.

Wanting to surprise his parents with an Easter visit, Monroe is shocked when they tell him not to come.

Henry feels the pains of unemployment after he's fired for satirizing the president in a cartoon.

When Mildred Rafkin comes back searching for her mother's brooch, Jackie suggests hiring a medium for help.

On her 42nd birthday, Muriel discovers she's pregnant.

Jessica is arrested for Peter's murder, and her lawyer refuses to defend her.

Burt begins to exhibit strange behavior; Father Tim has bad news for Corinne.

Dr. Medlow wants to commit Burt; Eunice's hiding from Marilyn.

Eunice pursues the photos; things look very bad for Jessica.

When Kraus falls for the butcher, Benson is enlisted to help bolster her self-confidence.

A compassionate Benson helps a homesick 11-year-old Soviet chess genius.

The governor must cope with 200 hungry guests when Benson and Kraus are trapped in a freezer.

The governor's irascible father visits the mansion, creating havoc among staff and guests.

Lester's plan to buy a sports car goes awry when Mary decides to redecorate.

Mary and Lester host a golden-anniversary party for her parents.

Sandra's arrogant basketball-player beau leads Calvin astray.

Lottery opponent Mary falls victim to gambling fever.

Charlie (Howard Hesseman) learns that Sarah's (Kimberly Russell) home life is contributing to her recent poor scholastic performance. Robert Hooks guest stars.

Arvid (Dan Frischman) imagines himself playing roles in "Moonlighting" and "The Honeymooners." Marcia Christie guest stars.

Charlie (Howard Hesseman) learns that his students are sabotaging one another's science fair projects.

Criticism upsets school journal editor Simone.

While vacationing in Mexico, Tony (Tony Danza) intercepts a message that leads to Angela's (Judith Light) dismissal at the advertising agency.

Tony urges Angela into a new venture.

While serving as attendants at the wedding of close friends, Tony and Angela (Tony Danza, Judith Light) find themselves daydreaming about being the bride and groom.

Fearing that Jonathan (Danny Pintauro) is becoming too intellectual, Tony (Tony Danza) enrolls him in a gymnastics competition.

Alex gets his ideal girl at college, but finds himself attracted to her roommate as well.

Time is running out for Alex when he discovers that Ellen intends to marry another man.

Jennifer decides to hang out with the "cool" kids at school.

Jennifer starts acting different to impress her "cool friends" which starts a rift at home.

Drew (Drew Carey) regrets inviting Lisa (Katy Selverstone) to live with him when she brings along her menagerie of pets.

Mimi appears to be the lesser of two evils when Drew hires a notorious bully to replace her as Wick's secretary.

Drew (Drew Carey) is the one who is surprised when he decides to take dinner to the woman (guest star Caroline Rhea) he has been dating. Eric Roberts also guest stars.

Kate's (Christa Miller) soul is endangered by "The Devil" (guest star Grant Shaud); Drew (Drew Carey) masquerades as Mimi (Kathy Kinney) for Halloween.

Jimmy wagers anchorman Bill in a poker game and loses him to a rival station.

Organizing a summer outing for his co-workers almost becomes too much for Matthew (Andy Dick). With Dave Foley and Phil Hartman.

Joe (Joe Rogan) gets fired up about the new security cameras at the station and sets the place ablaze. With Dave Foley and Maura Tierney.

Mr. James runs for president of the United States, a la Ross Perot; a mustachioed Matthew annoys co-workers.

Jack feels guilty for firing his old partner 30 years ago and decides to rehire him, but then he remembers why he fired him in the first place.

Nina's comeback photo shoot leaves her in head-to-toe gold paint for the day; Maya gets ambushed when she agrees to speak at a forum for women in the media.

Maya knocks designer Oskar Milos' (Dana Carvey) clothes and has to eat her words when Milos pulls his advertising.

An office blood drive turns into a storytelling session as Finch, Nina and Elliott recall for Maya how Jack transported them from dreary jobs to new careers.

The girls crash Jack's weekend in a remote cabin.

Jack and Janet worry about Chrissy's health.

George's boasting gets him in trouble with the underworld.

Louise suspects that George's old Navy buddy is really a woman.

When Fred returns early from a long trip, he spoils a homecoming party Lamont and Grady had planned.

Uncle George dies, and Lamont will inherit $7,000 if he produces a son within the next 12 months and names him George.

Cops and robbers provide inspiration for a criminal who mimics the felonies of TV police shows; and a drunk attempts armed robbery without a gun.

The officers are unable to remove a corpse from the station house during a blizzard; and an eccentric swears that the snow is the start of a new ice age.

After accepting a date with an ardent old admirer, Shirley later has to figure out how to get rid of him and his mother.

The Partridges and Reuben are held hostage by an escaped convict (Arte Johnson).

The new local symphony conductor wants only male musicians.

George chides Hazel for believing in superstitious good-luck charms.

Jeannie gets homesick and has her sister visit; Jeannie's sister tries to trap Tony into being her master.

Charlie, a con artist, tries to convince Jeannie to give him a genuine King Tut Scarab pin worth a half-million dollars.

The Stephens attend a lecture given by a man who makes a living out of debunking witchcraft.

The President of Darrin's company allows his assistant to investigate Samantha's activities.

Maude learns that Carol's boyfriend is married to one of her oldest friends.

Maude recruits Vivian into women's liberation and possibly out of her marriage.

Mel's brother, an old flame of Flo's, shows up after his third divorce.

Alice and Tommy argue over his constant phone usage calling his new girlfriend. When she grounds him, both Tommy and his girlfriend run away from home.

Natalie may end up the odd woman out when she boycotts a school dance.

Mrs. Garrett receives a marriage proposal.

Two hapless brothers are hired by the Rushes to convert their attic into an apartment for Iris.

As Iris prepares to move in with the Rushes, she's offered a business partnership back in Chicago.

Nick's image-transformation impresses everyone except Mallory.

Steven discovers that his college buddy once had a fling with Elyse.

The girls crash Jack's weekend in a remote cabin.

Jack and Janet worry about Chrissy's health.

The officers are unable to remove a corpse from the station house during a blizzard; and an eccentric swears that the snow is the start of a new ice age.

Ann's ex-husband announces that he can no longer make child-support payments.

Ann's ex-husband announces that he can no longer make child-support payments.

George's boasting gets him in trouble with the underworld.

Louise suspects that George's old Navy buddy is really a woman.

When Fred returns early from a long trip, he spoils a homecoming party Lamont and Grady had planned.

Uncle George dies, and Lamont will inherit $7,000 if he produces a son within the next 12 months and names him George.

TV host Oprah Winfrey; comic Jerry Seinfeld; Shirley Muldowney.

While at dinner, Becker accidentally blurts out confidential information about his godson to the boy's father.

Becker can't sleep because his television doesn't work, but he mysteriously refuses to get another one.

While at the wedding of an air-traffic controller, Lowell encounters his ex-wife, and Helen gets stuck with a geek.

Brian pulls out all the stops in an attempt to win Alex's affections; Roy and Lowell become addicted to a video game.

Paul's parents give Paul and Jamie a trip to the Caribbean. The only problem is, to use it they have to pretend to be Paul's parents, and it proves very difficult.

Ira's ex-wife (Cyndi Lauper) returns from Luxembourg, now divorced and rich. She offers to finance Ira's new venture, but his silent partner vetoes the idea.

Julia becomes incensed by a nearby newspaper stand selling pornography.

After Anthony sprains his entire body, Suzanne becomes his nurse; Mary Jo tries to impress an old friend.

Mary and Lester learn that he has distant cousins who are white.

Mary feels inadequate when her former best friend pays a visit.

Jack gives cooking lessons to a mobster's wife.

Jack must choose a guest for a luxury cruise.

George hires a street kid to work for half-price.

George has a bust made of himself to leave as a legacy to his family.

Fred is sure that the ring Lamont gave him as a present is the one he has heard was stolen from Frank Sinatra.

Grady's fiancee decrees that after the wedding, he will no longer be spending his evenings with the Sanfords.

Wojo wrecks a taxi that he borrows to chase a robbery suspect; and Lieutenant Scanlon enlists the help of a drug pusher to test the detectives' honesty.

Fork-stabbing highlights Thanksgiving. Three mental patients have Thanksgiving dinner at a laundromat.

Laurie is accused of cheating while covering up for a friend.

The family visits an amusement park; guest Johnny Bench.

George becomes annoyed by Hazel everytime he makes a mistake.

Mr. Griffin pulls strings to have Hazel be Maid of the Month.

Jeannie transfers her power to Tony to make sure she can go 24 hours without using them.

Jeannie saves Tony and Roger from a tough physical instructor.

A private detective tries to blackmail Samantha when he discovers she is a witch.

Samantha is upset when Darrin cannot take the vacation he was planning.

Mrs. Naugatuck announces that she is in love and plans to be married.

Walter would rather lose his business than allow Maude to mortgage the house.

Mel's pushy mother, Carrie, stops by Phoenix to visit her son and announces that she plans to stay for the entire winter. Mel quickly finds that living with his mother again is too close for comfort but is unable to stand up to her.

Vera's broken heart is cured by her three friends and a delivery boy.

Tootie discovers that the new student, a young princess, plans to run away.

Blair's behavior toward her new boyfriend could cost her her self-respect and her best friends.

Jackie decides to have a breast implant operation in order to make herself more attractive.

Sara competes for an anchor position.

Alex tries to hide his problem with insomnia, from the stress of his personal life.

Guilt-ridden after turning in a young shoplifter to the police, Mallory tries to become her friend.

Jack gives cooking lessons to a mobster's wife.

Jack must choose a guest for a luxury cruise.

Fork-stabbing highlights Thanksgiving. Three mental patients have Thanksgiving dinner at a laundromat.

Ann's enthusiasm over her new lifestyle becomes a real problem when she accidentally influences the wrong person.

Ann helps one of Barbara's admirers when Barbara keeps trying to give him the brush-off.

George hires a street kid to work for half-price.

George has a bust made of himself to leave as a legacy to his family.

Fred is sure that the ring Lamont gave him as a present is the one he has heard was stolen from Frank Sinatra.

Grady's fiancee decrees that after the wedding, he will no longer be spending his evenings with the Sanfords.

Actor Robert Blake; model Christie Brinkley; The Mighty Carson Art Players.

Becker can't believe it when his old college mentor visits town for a book signing and doesn't remember him.

Becker's strange suspicion about bad omens seemingly proves true when a patient has a heart attack at the gym.

Brian has a difficult decision to make when he and Alex spend a week dating each other.

While Brian recuperates from an injury, he becomes jealous when Alex spends time with Joe.

Ira and his date fight at Paul's birthday party, prompting Paul to have flashbacks to some of the disasters that have ruined his birthday in previous years.

Jamie's forced to work on an ad campaign with her ex-boyfriend (Eric Stoltz). He's recently published a comic book that features an evil queen from outer space, and Jamie thinks the character is based on her.

A former classmate's (Ray Buktenica) dying wish is to spend an evening with Julia.

On the eve of Charlene's baby shower, Suzanne learns that she must relinquish the Miss Georgia crown she won 15 years earlier.

Lester hides his famous houseguest's (Marvelous Marvin Hagler) identity to protect their business deal.

The Jenkins agree to take on a college student, who turns out to be 11 years old.

Ralph says Chrissy is his wife to impress a rival.

A letter in a newspaper column convinces each of the two girls that the other is having an affair with Jack.

An introduction puts Helen and Louise's friendship on the line.

Florence's battling parents pay the Jefferson household an unexpected visit.

Lamont leaves after Fred refuses to allow a sensitivity group to meet at the Sanford home.

Fred sees the beginning of the end of his junk business when Lamont takes a job in a men's clothing store.

Harris searches Manhattan for an apartment to fit his intended lifestyle; Wojo is buried alive while pursuing a thief.

The FBI arrives to investigate a college student who built a working nuclear bomb for his physics class project.

An 11-year-old girl (guest star Jodie Foster) gets a massive crush on Danny (Danny Bonaduce).

The Partridge family makes a commercial for a take-out chicken restaurant.

Gus, the love of Hazel's life, finally returns to propose.

Hazel berates dinner guests for asking her to work for them.

Jeannie assembles a singing group so Tony can go on vacation.

Roger thinks he has been chosen for stardom by a movie director.

Samantha confuses a crook with Darrin's eccentric Uncle Albert.

Darrin plans a celebration because Samantha has not used witchcraft for a month.

Maude becomes suspicious when Walter develops a sudden passion for religion.

Maude and Walter spend a weekend in a mountain cabin in an attempt to bring the romance back to their marriage.

A case of the hiccups nixes Alice's chance of breaking into show business.

Mel finds a buyer for the diner and decides to start living the good life.

The girls are determined to do everything in their power to spare Mrs. Garrett unnecessary stress.

Jo is furious when she learns that a favorite teacher is planning to leave Eastland.

The Rushes' house is scheduled for demolition when the city plans to construct a new subway station.

Monroe's father pays a visit and has high expectations for his son.

Steven's new job at the TV station leaves him with very little time to spend with his family.

Coached by Alex, Jennifer presents a class speech, but she doesn't know what she is talking about.

Ralph says Chrissy is his wife to impress a rival.

A letter in a newspaper column convinces each of the two girls that the other is having an affair with Jack.

The FBI arrives to investigate a college student who built a working nuclear bomb for his physics class project.

Barbara brings a mentally impaired boy to help Schneider.

An unmarried classmate of Barbara's arrives with her new baby.

An introduction puts Helen and Louise's friendship on the line.

Florence's battling parents pay the Jefferson household an unexpected visit.

Lamont leaves after Fred refuses to allow a sensitivity group to meet at the Sanford home.

Fred sees the beginning of the end of his junk business when Lamont takes a job in a men's clothing store.

Actress Elizabeth Taylor; actor Michael Douglas.

Against his lawyer's advice, Becker can't help but fight a malpractice suit brought against him by a heart patient.

Vinny DeLuca's malpractice suit forces Becker into court, where testimony from his friends might sink his case.

Lowell and Bunny (Laura Innes) discover that a divorce is what they need to get the spark back in their marriage.

A potential investor in the airline (Mark Harelik) becomes interested in Helen.

The Buchmans struggle to find the perfect anniversary gift and discover that the newsstand where they met has burned down.

When the newsstand where they met burns down on their third wedding anniversary, the Buchmans get a glimpse of what their lives would have been like if they had never met.

The Sugarbaker women and their mates (Hal Holbrook, Douglas Barr, Richard Gilliland) take a canoe trip in the Georgia backwoods.

Anthony attempts to prove himself when Mary Jo hires him for a contracting job.

Brenda competes in the Miss Teen Washington Pageant.

Sandra's cousin flees a prearranged marriage.

Chrissy's minister father announces that the roommates' living arrangement is jeopardizing his new appointment.

Chrissy and Jack try to cool Larry's ardor for Janet.

George teaches his clerk Marcus how to "rough it.".

Superstitious Louise gets a "sign" that her marriage is doomed.

Fred holds out for more money when a Japanese land development company offers to buy his house.

Fred buys a racehorse with an impressive history in hopes of breeding him.

An angry citizen creates a disturbance when he learns that his deposit at a sperm bank has been accidentally ruined.

Demonic possession, an illegal alien and an accountant with a pocketful of marijuana make up a day's work at the precinct.

Sex education bedevils Keith.

A department store computer plays havoc with Shirley's account.

George's maiden cousin comes to stay when her father dies.

Circumstance and Rosie lead Hazel to think George unfaithful.

Jeannie loses her memory and changes Dr. Bellows into a mouse.

Jeannie is upset when Tony's mother decides he needs someone to take care of him.

A private detective plots to cash in when he discovers both Samantha and Endora are witches.

Samantha and Darrin feel they might not have married if he knew she was a witch.

Maude is transformed into a quivering mass of guilt and insecurity when her mother pays a visit.

Maude breaks the news to Walter that she's been asked to run for the state Senate.

Alice disguises herself as a mobster in an effort to get the diner's new owner to give it back to Mel.

Alice auditions for a role in a local theatrical production and winds up falling for the director.

The girls learn a valuable lesson when they join Tootie's college-aged brother and his roommate for a night on the town.

Blair is stunned by her socialite sister's decision to become a nun and then by a shocking announcement from Jo.

Henry's father pays a visit with his future bride, a woman in her 40s who is pregnant with his child.

Henry's life is threatened when he's the only eyewitness in a robbery.

Alex surprises Ellen by inviting her father to Parents Day Weekend at Leland College.

Skippy challenges Nick at the Homecoming dance in his obsession with Mallory.

Chrissy's minister father announces that the roommates' living arrangement is jeopardizing his new appointment.

Chrissy and Jack try to cool Larry's ardor for Janet.

Host Mike Detillier and former Saints QB John Fourcade discuss upcoming Saints action and break down LSU on the Gridiron.

Demonic possession, an illegal alien and an accountant with a pocketful of marijuana make up a day's work at the precinct.

Ann tries to work up the nerve to ask a handsome business associate for a date.

Faced with eviction, an elderly neighbor takes a hostage in Ann's apartment.

George teaches his clerk Marcus how to "rough it.".

Superstitious Louise gets a "sign" that her marriage is doomed.

Fred holds out for more money when a Japanese land development company offers to buy his house.

Fred buys a racehorse with an impressive history in hopes of breeding him.

Actor Don Rickles; Jon Serl.

Becker is ordered to attend therapy sessions with a psychologist (Rhea Perlman) who becomes a changed woman.

Everyone suffers when Becker decides to quit smoking cold turkey; a surveillance camera tracks Becker's moves as terrorizes his neighborhood.