KDIT-CD

After reading how much it costs to raise a child, Vint and Naomi decide to go into business for themselves, selling Mama's mother-in-law's miracle tonic.

After finding his wedding ring in the bathroom, Mama begins to suspect that Vint is having an affair with his new trainee; Mama and Iola go to Kiwk Keys to investigate.

Fred fabricates a story about the war to tell to his grandchildren.

Fred and Lamont wind up stranded in the forest when they go camping. They reflect on past experiences together.

Edith's eagerness to perform with Stephanie at a concert leaves her without a voice and Stephanie alone.

Edith is the cause and victim of a quarrel when her long-lost admirer visits with his intended bride.

Simon meets his son and grandson for the first time; the family pretends to be happy to try to get Wilbur into a prestigious pre-school.

Elka throws a funeral for Victoria so she can join Emmet in hiding; Simon and Joy face a dilemma.

Rob and Laura are dismayed by Millie's jealousy of their new neighbors.

Laura spends a night alone in the house when Rob and Richie go fishing.

Diane's scorn for Sam's choice of female companions sends the bar owner on a futile quest for an intelligent date.

Sam is threatened with a lawsuit after hot-headed Carla attacks an obnoxious Yankees fan (Ron Karobatsos).

Jim's psychic powers thrust him into the world of network television when he predicts a TV show will be a hit; a TV programmer uses Reverend Jim's psychic abilities.

In the throes of a hangover, Oscar throws Felix out of the apartment.

Bob takes on the role of Christmas peacemaker when he attempts to reconcile his parents (Barnard Hughes, Martha Scott).

A KAOS mad scientist develops a new hallucinogenic drug and demands $50,000.

Part 1/2. Ralph tries hypnotism on Alice as a means of getting money from her.

Bilko sees a rich GI as a ticket to saloon ownership.

Jonathan Winters and Barbara Eden join Carol for the question and answer segment; Barbara and dancers perform "Bend It;" Leonard Nimoy joins Carol in "Mrs. Invisible Man.".

The Gillis men try to manage without Wini.

When an ex-boyfriend announces a visit, Mrs. Davis wants to impress him by pretending to be wealthy; Connie poses as Mrs. Davis' personal secretary.

Fed up with chopping wood for Kate's old wood burning stove, Uncle Joe cooks up a scheme to get her to buy a new one.

Ann tracks the source of loud organ music.

Stephanie wins a spot in a television commercial that D.J. wanted.

Jesse's latest love interest thwarts his advances because she is afraid of his type of man.

Just when Joey gets a date to play with the Harlem Globetrotters, members of the household catch the measles.

Joey considers abandoning his career as a comic after he bombs on stage.

Peter is sure his weekend camping trip will be canceled when he breaks his mother's favorite vase.

The twins persuade Bill to suspend the house rules.

Annette Funicello stars as an exchange student who stays with the Williams family.

An editorial gets Jeff fired from the school paper.

Following their elopement to Las Vegas, newlyweds Chip and Polly (Stanley Livingston, Ronne Troup) are beset by trouble.

Bridegroom Chip (Stanley Livingston) faces a father-in-law who refuses to speak to his newly married daughter.

Lucy, her daughter and Uncle Harry try living in the jungle as an escape from the pressures of the city.

Lucy tries to help Milton Berle when she mistakes him for a skid row bum.

Lucy is disgusted with Ricky's sloppy ways; she splits the apartment into two parts so she can have a clean side. When a photographer is scheduled to arrive to take pictures of Ricky, she tries to teach Ricky a lesson by making the whole house messy.

Ricky brings home a mink coat he'll use in his show and Lucy thinks it's for her. When Lucy finds out that Ricky arranged for the coat to be stolen from their apartment, she gets even by cutting up a fake fur in front of him.

The writers demand a raise and get entangled in the world of corporate finance.

Phyllis, who has just received her real estate license, tries to sell Lou a house.

Fonzie suddenly experiences sneezing attacks whenever he's about to kiss a girl.

The roommates wear stolen gowns to a posh party at the Shotz Brewery, boss's house.

Stubing proposes to Emily (Marion Ross); a teenage stowaway meets Larry Gatlin & the Gatlin Brothers; a phony agent dupes a comedian.

Gopher breaks a passenger's (Jose Ferrer) priceless statue; Judy is labeled a home-wrecker; Ace snaps a telling shot of two couples.

Jethro reads a book about yoga and decides to become a guru, much to Granny's disgust.

When the Clampetts take up jogging, Mr. Drysdale joins in to seek new business for his bank.

Iola reveals she wants a husband and a family, and after finding a new beau, she decides to introduce him to the Harpers; Mama and the family learn that Iola's new beau isn't that great of a guy.

After installing an intercom in preparation for Naomi's new baby, the family begins using it to eavesdrop on each other.

When Fred learns of the possibility of oil on his property, he starts spending his "millions.".

Fred discovers that the tenant he has a crush on is a man and a criminal.

Stephanie needs emergency surgery but Archie balks when the doctor turns out to be one of Gloria's former playmates.

A small crime wave in the Bunker household is only half as unsettling as the possible motivations.

Victoria's movie premiere approaches; Emmy visits with surprising news; Elka has taken a younger lover.

When Victoria wants an Oscar nomination, her friends try to convince Academy members to consider her.

Rob dreams he is a sheriff in the Wild West.

Rob's autobiography is bought by Alan Brady for a television series.

Sam realizes how much he misses his former sports celebrity status when a local newscaster asks to interview him.

Coach isn't impressed with the guy his daughter wants to marry.

Louie comforts Zena's heartbroken friend (Andrea Marcovicci).

Oscar blames Felix for his developing ulcer.

Bob watches in amazement as Mr. Carlin (Jack Riley) spins a web of lies to impress his love-struck new secretary.

Agent 99 and CIA agent Quigley must save the world from a mad scientist who is freezing it.

Part 2/2. Alice learns about Ralph's plan to use hypnotism to get money from her.

Bilko is off to Hollywood to serve as technical adviser for a film.

Carol's guests are Mickey Rooney and John Davidson; Davidson sings "Somewhere"; Rooney takes part in a wild, wild Western; Carol must choose between the two (and Lyle) on The Rat Race.

A teenager aims for beautiful women, fancy cars and money.

Miss Brooks plans on making some extra money as a waitress, not knowing that the hot dog stand is owned by Osgood Conklin.

ALF helps Lynn (Andrea Elson) boost her self-confidence by enrolling her in a beauty pageant. With Max Wright, Anne Shedeen and Benji Gregory.

ALF gets a severe case of hiccups after being excluded from Dorothy and Whizzer's (Anne Meara, Paul Dooley) wedding party.

Danny embarks on his first date since the death of his wife that results in romance.

D.J.'s favorite cousin (Kirk Cameron) comes for a visit, but ends up spending most of his time with Danny.

Close quarters prompt Jesse to seek other lodgings for a while.

The clan struggles to adjust to life without Jesse. He returns back home when Michelle gets sick.

Thinking they're making a movie, the boys rob a bank.

To avoid marrying an evil man, a princess picks Davy.

A guide dog center where canines are trained to become service dogs.

Showcasing the efforts of compassionate individuals helping all kinds of animals in trouble and animal care tips.

Featuring actual cases of missing individuals, both adult and juvenile, from across the United States; includes tips and information to keep children safe.

Featuring actual cases of missing individuals, both adult and juvenile, from across the United States; includes tips and information to keep children safe.

Jesse moonlights as an Elvis Presley look-alike to earn money for a demo record.

Joey learns that D.J. skipped school to get a rock star's (Stacey Q) autograph.

Jesse is in trouble when Stephanie plays "beauty parlor" with his hair.

Jesse falls for Danny's new TV co-host on "Wake Up San Francisco.".

Greg Needs $150 to record his original song so he convinces his siblings to join him. They notice that Peter's voice is crackling due to puberty and have to decide to record with or without him.

Jan finds a picture of her Aunt Jenny when she was the same age and discovers they are look-alikes.

The loser of Bobby and Greg's bet must do everything the winner says for a week.

The column Peter is writing for the school newspaper is a profitable venture.

A kidnapper (Don Rickles) snatches one castaway after another.

After both Mary Ann and Ginger vanish suddenly, Gilligan dreams he's Dr. Gilligan and Mr. Hyde.

A plain woman (Tina Louise in a dual role) arrives to hide from men.

Gilligan goes overboard when he is elected to be the Skipper's deputy.

Goober Pyle pays a secret visit to Gomer and almost gets him committed by a psychiatrist.

Gomer helps Carter's sister convince the sergeant that her fiance has merits.

When Carter leaves his precious car in Gomer's care, it is stolen and demolished.

When Carter and his girlfriend break up, Gomer decides to patch things up.

The Drysdales sell their mansion to singer Pat Boone, who is intrigued by Granny's cooking.

The hillbillies move back to the hills to find Elly a husband, much to Mr. Drysdale's dismay.

The Clampetts arrive in the mountain town of Silver Dollar City, where Granny starts a feud.

Granny continues her efforts to get Elly married, extolling her virtues to every bachelor she meets.

Florence faces mandatory retirement from her job as courtroom bailiff.

Several expectant mothers are stranded in the courtroom when a hurricane strikes the city. Dick Butkus, Brent Spiner and Pam Grier guest star.

Four expectant mothers are stranded in the courtroom while a hurricane rages outside. Guest: Dick Butkus.

Harry receives a letter from his mother, who deserted him when he was a child.

Diane becomes upset when Sam hits on an old friend of hers who's on the rebound.

Norm is surprised when he is the only one at his company party in Roman garb.

Diane and Carla decide to bury the hatchet over after work drinks.

Coach and Sam become unlikely romantic rivals for Coach's new neighbor.

Bob's invitation to lecture at a prestigious sex seminar results in distress when the audience shows up nude.

Bob runs into problems when he brings his therapy group home for a wild role-playing encounter.

Bob succumbs to the pressures of living in a big city and seeks employment at a small rural college.

Bob thinks that Veronica Kidd, a student trainee, has fallen in love with him.

While in London, Max and 99 try to find out who is recreating "Jack the Ripper" type murders.

A mad scientist has created a serum to bring wax figures to life, and he starts with Jack the Ripper.

When a cheerleader is killed her boyfriend becomes the prime suspect.

A madwoman becomes enamored with Hammer and threatens to kill Doreau unless Sledge gives in to her advances.

Actress Evelyn Rudie is featured on the classic quiz show.

A collection of some of Groucho Marx's best moments on the game show "You Bet Your Life.".

Ozzie's opportunity to speak at a civic club meeting is taken away.

Ozzie accidentally opens an accountant's safe.

Ann learns Lou is jealous of Don.

Ann invites her parents to her Broadway debut.

When Brenda's "Mr. Right" seems to be taking her for granted, Rhoda drills her on how to land a man.

Rhoda finds herself counseling a married couple despite her limited relationship experience.

Martin is excited over the prospect of a visit from an old friend, until he recalls the friend was once engaged to Ida.

Brenda falls for a young federal agent who is using her apartment to check on the residence across the street.

Their friendship is on the line after Mary thinks Rhoda has made an unkind remark.

Lou gets mad and threatens to fire Mary after some unedited copy airs on the news.

Ted realizes his dream to meet Walter Cronkite.

When Ted learns that Mary is attending a night-school class in creative writing, he enrolls in the same course.

The girls agree to let Fonzie (guest star Henry Winkler) throw a party at the Pizza Bowl.

Laverne challenges a wisecracking Shotz tour guide to a bowling championship.

The girls are excited to hear that "wild" Anne Marie will attend their class reunion.

Shirley tries to break up Laverne's wedding plans with Sal leaving for the Navy.

After meeting and falling for the charming actor Leslie Lemoyne, Mama sees him on "Tri-State's Most Wanted" just as he is arriving to pick her up for dinner; she fears that he may be a dangerous felon.

Mama gets an invitation to her 50th high school reunion, which she has no plans on attending; she later reveals the reason why she doesn't want to attend.

After calling into a radio show for advice about a broken blender and subsequently causing an uproar after they are unable to help her, Mama is offered a radio show as a consumer advocate by the station manager.

Vint and Naomi return home after meeting a physic, Madam Rita, telling the whole family about her; but Mama has her suspicions, figuring out that Rita could get most of her information from the beauty shop where she works.

Mr. Conklin tries squeezing money out of a rich dowager so he can redecorate his office by dressing the school staff like bums.

Ace plays detective to solve a bizarre murder case; Capt. Steubing's wife (Marion Ross) tries to alter cruise routines.

A born loser gets a call from a woman who thinks she has called the Suicide Help line.

An artist is incensed when his son flunks a sex-education class.

Freddy gets soaked while fixing a leaky pipe for the woman next door.

Harvey and Judy decide to get married in Las Vegas; in "Love and the Teddy Bear," Mary and Joe find their son asleep with a girl.

Emmett is threatened when a young helper does too good a job.

An old man comes to the farm claiming that he can find water with a dowsing stick.

Emmett pawns his wife's expensive diamond to play the stock market.

Goober's big brother Braden comes home to Mayberry after 14 years.

Jesse must tell his parents he wants to go into show business.

D.J. and Kimmy plot to buy themselves a horse, but don't have enough money.

Jesse asks Joey's help on a cat-food ad contest; D.J. and Stephanie get into a fight.

D.J. wins tickets to meet the Beach Boys, but can't decide whom to take.

One of Jan's practical jokes boomerangs and she becomes her own victim.

A girl-hating captain dumps Buffy from the stickball team.

Lauritz Melchior and Shirley Jones guest star as a father-daughter musical team.

Alex and Donna think Mary is out after curfew.

Steve (Fred MacMurray) reluctantly agrees to be a model for a fashion show, then refuses at the last minute.

Chip (Stanley Livingston) becomes ill after eating Polly's (Ronne Troup) cooking, and she believes it would be better if he left her.

Lucy robs a bank and fur salon thinking she's on a TV game show.

Lucy discovers a singing farmhand (Wayne Newton).

Lucy reads in the paper that Ricky is interested in a chorus girl. After Lucy finds a dancer's black lace in Ricky's pocket -- which he put there during a rehearsal -- Lucy decides to work her way into Ricky's show to see what he's doing.

The girls begin knitting socks for Ricky and Fred, who they believe have been drafted and are heading to war. The men think that the knitting means the girls are pregnant. They wind up arranging surprise parties for each other on the same night.

Rob tries to attend Laura's family reunion without anyone finding out that he is sick.

Ted takes advantage of Lou's new image as the office "pussycat.".

Richie is arrested and charged with being the infamous "kissing bandit" of Milwaukee.

The girls' blind dates are bank robbers and plan to rob the bank next to the Pizza Bowl.

Doc falls for a radio psychologist; a gambler (Thom Bray) risks love; a woman wants to retire her spouse's (Donald O'Connor) orangutan.

A disguised rock star faces rejection; a novelist sees Ace as the hero of her next book; two lovers celebrate their 10th anniversary.

Birdwatcher Jane Hathaway hikes into the woods and finds a man for Elly.

The Clampetts rehearse for Elly's wedding to backwoodsman Matthew Templeton, unaware that banker Drysdale wants it stopped.

While comedian Shecky Lewis is on stage performing at the Bigger Jigger, Mama heckles him; the comedian challenges her to perform at Open Mike Night on Monday.

Bubba is looking for a band for Homecoming, and succeeds in booking the Bonecrushers; after telliing the family that the band will be staying with them, it turns out the Bonecrushers are an all-female heavy metal band.

Three jewel thieves plan to use Fred as their mule to smuggle their stolen gems out of Hawaii to California.

While at a convention in Hawaii, Fred is an unwitting jewel smuggler.

Archie and Edith introduce a rich widow to Barney Hefner after his wife runs away again.

Archie's brother Fred returns after recovering from heart surgery and convinces Archie to invest $5000 in a Chinese cafeteria franchise. Their new financial partnership is threatened when Archie discovers that Fred's new wife is only 18 years old.

The women are assessed to see if they can adopt a puppy; Elka's relationships with Mamie and Roy take a turn.

Melanie uses her illness to get sold-out concert tickets; Victoria starts an online romance.

Considered to be one of television's classics, "The Dick Van Dyke Show" centers on the personal and professional lives Rob Petrie, a writer on the fictional Alan Brady Show. He's happily married to former dancer Laura, and they have a young son, Ritchie. The plots generally revolve around problems at work -- where Rob got into various comedic jams with fellow writers Buddy Sorrell, Sally Rogers an

Rob talks Laura into leaving their sick son with a baby sitter while they go to a party at Alan Brady's penthouse.

Red Sox pitcher Rick Walker falls into a slump and asks his idol Sam for advice.

A shy man who is about to enter the priesthood makes advances toward Diane.

Alex and his father, who is back in town to pay a visit, both date the same girl.

Felix volunteers his and Oscar's services to take care of a small boy.