KIVY-LD

Maude's ex-husband leaves her responsible for disposing of his ashes in a very particular manner.

Mrs. Naugatuck knows more than she's telling when Maude's priceless crystal bowl gets broken.

Alice and Flo play cupid for Vera when she becomes depressed that she is alone as her birthday approaches.

Alice resorts to burglary when she can't convince Mel that charity begins at home.

Jo attends a country club cotillion with Blair's suave childhood friend.

Tootie's new boyfriend questions the real motives of her white friends.

Henry and Muriel's table doesn't include a setting for a lion that wanders into their dinner party.

Sara believes that Monroe needs a sex surrogate to overcome his problems.

Alex gets his ideal girl at college, but finds himself attracted to her roommate as well.

Time is running out for Alex when he discovers that Ellen intends to marry another man.

Janet and her date find Jack and Chrissy in bed.

Chrissy eats the pie Jack was going to enter in a statewide baking competition.

Wojo grants political asylum to a defecting Russian musician; Marty is charged with a parole violation for possessing a half-ounce of marijuana.

The squad tracks a mad bomber who's threatened to blow up an Army recruiting office; and Fish has to dress as a woman when it's his turn for mugging detail.

After a disastrous date with a high-school hero, Barbara takes Julie's advice and decides to change her image.

On the eve of her marriage to David, Ann must come to grips with one of the most important decisions of her life.

George takes over as manager of Florence's singing group, but his booking decisions end on a bad note.

Florence's joy at her small-town cousin's arrival turns to concern when the teen decides to stay.

Esther fights with Woodrow and moves into the Sanford house. Fred comes up with plans to patch things up between them and send Esther home.

Fred is inside the bank when it gets robbed, and becomes a hostage.

Host Dick Cavett; comedian Jimmy Brogan; comedian Dave Barry.

Jake and Bob want to join Reggie in Europe; Chris isn't convinced when Becker tries to prove his true feelings toward her.

Tensions between Becker and Chris escalate, threatening their friendship.

Joe and Brian get tips from Helen on what women like in men in order to interest Alex in a date.

Helen's elaborate plans for a surprise birthday party go up in smoke when the honoree injures himself in her house.

Paul approaches prickly TV legend Alan Brady (Carl Reiner) to narrate his documentary about the history of television.

Paul realizes how little he knows about handling details of day-to-day life when Jamie goes out of town, and he mistakenly donates their bed to a charity thrift store.

After Mary Jo is mugged, the Sugarbaker women take a self-defense course.

Reggie (Danny Thompson), the thieving accountant, cons Suzanne into investing in a circus.

Mary witnesses the infidelity of Rose's boyfriend (Kevin Peter Hall) while on a trip to Atlantic City.

Mary is hailed as a brave new artist following a cleaning mishap in an art gallery.

Angry Jack moves out of the apartment.

Roper plans to sell the apartment house as an anniversary surprise for Helen.

George's ego suffers a blow when an unlikely source offers a humble lesson in personal worth.

Automation threatens Ralph's job just as George tries to boost the doorman's self-esteem.

Fred and Lamont take in boarders to pay the mortgage, but the prospects don't look good.

Fred and Lamont see a television series that resembles their lives. They become furious and prepare to sue the network.

Hazel's date translates for George's Italian client.

Jeannie gives Roger a birthday wish; Roger wishes to switch places with Tony.

Hillbillies think Tony and Roger are Martians while the two are testing an experimental aircraft shaped like a saucer.

Endora doesn't think Darrin has a sense of humor; she gives Darrin an inappropriate sense of humor.

Phyllis, Darrin's mother sees Tabitha float a doll across the room.

The biggest surprise at Walter's birthday party is his arrest for "lewd and lascivious" behavior.

Maude decides that Henry Fonda would be an ideal candidate for President of the United States.

Alice must scrimp to come up with money for Tommy's braces and Mel needs a new refrigerator. Flo finds a paper bag with $40,000 cash in it, and it seems everyone's money woes are over.

Alice is given the chance to star in a television commercial for Mel's diner.

A visit by Blair's handicapped cousin brings back a lifelong conflict.

Jo "picks up" an expensive gift for Mrs. Garrett's birthday.

Muriel's divorced college friend arrives for a visit and propositions Henry.

Muriel's former boyfriend stops by for dinner and directs his attention to Jackie.

The Keatons are stunned when they finally meet Mallory's boyfriend, Nick.

Jennifer decides to hang out with the "cool" kids at school.

Angry Jack moves out of the apartment.

Roper plans to sell the apartment house as an anniversary surprise for Helen.

A woman is robbed by her computer date; and the detectives must decide whether to honor an unauthorized policeman's strike.

A man-hungry spinster and a loud prisoner present a challenge to Barney when his crew decides to join a strike.

Ann has some bad news about Schneider's pride and joy, his nephew Harvey.

Ann's father visits and continues to insist that she can't make it on her own.

George's ego suffers a blow when an unlikely source offers a humble lesson in personal worth.

Automation threatens Ralph's job just as George tries to boost the doorman's self-esteem.

Fred and Lamont take in boarders to pay the mortgage, but the prospects don't look good.

Fred and Lamont see a television series that resembles their lives. They become furious and prepare to sue the network.

Comedian Richard Pryor; actress Ally Sheedy; comedian Rod Hull; The Mighty Carson Art Players.

Becker makes a long-distance visit to a former patient (Hal Holbrook) who's on his deathbed; Chris gives Bob a peep show.

Becker tries to woo Chris with an invitation to his place, but she elects to go out with someone else.

Lowell attempts to eulogize his friend and mentor; Joe and Brian try to keep Helen awake for 18 hours after she suffers a head injury.

Brian pulls out all the stops in an attempt to win Alex's affections; Roy and Lowell become addicted to a video game.

Paul is heading to Canada, but Lisa has accidentally taken Jamie's purse by mistake which contains Paul's passport, so they run around town to find her.

Paul's parents give Paul and Jamie a trip to the Caribbean. The only problem is, to use it they have to pretend to be Paul's parents, and it proves very difficult.

Julia becomes incensed by a nearby newspaper stand selling pornography.

After Anthony sprains his entire body, Suzanne becomes his nurse; Mary Jo tries to impress an old friend.

Julian fakes death to keep from losing the building.

Mary plays a "slasher" when the apartment building is rented for a horror film.

The Ropers meet their snobbish new neighbor.

Jack pretends he lives alone when he falls for a woman he believes is old-fashioned.

George's former girlfriend arrives as an unexpected guest with devious plans.

Tom and Helen return to their honeymoon hotel on their 30th anniversary.

Fred goes into show business in order to get his brother-in-law out of the house.

Della Reese, a political campaigner, asks Fred for permission to use his home as campaign headquarters, even though Fred and Lamont support a different candidate.

House painters and Hazel drive away George's unwelcome cousin.

Jeannie's mother gives Jeannie some candies named 'pipchicks'. When Tony eats one, he gains terrific strength.

Jeannie gives Tony the next day's newspaper; Roger decides to bet on a horse.

Samantha's head is endangered when she catches the eye of Henry VIII.

Darrin tries to save Samantha, who has no power or memory of him, from Henry VIII.

Maude persists in spearheading a movement to draft Henry Fonda for president despite his continued protests.

Maude discovers that her nephew's "free and easy" lifestyle is just a cover-up for his lack of responsibility.

Alice encounters a flasher and Flo faces a handsome ex-husband who wants another divorce.

An elderly American Indian claims that the diner is built on his tribal burial grounds and announces that he has come there to die.

Jo's old boyfriend proposes marriage.

Mrs. Garrett and the girls try to delay Jo's marriage.

While on jury duty, Henry creates havoc when he unknowingly destroys a piece of evidence.

Henry's 75-year-old father wants to start a new life after he's booted out of a rest home for cavorting with the ladies.

Jennifer starts acting different to impress her "cool friends" which starts a rift at home.

Alex goes overboard to prove that he and Ellen share the same interests.

The Ropers meet their snobbish new neighbor.

Jack pretends he lives alone when he falls for a woman he believes is old-fashioned.

Fish is nowhere to be found on his last day before he retires; Barney must deal with an out of control vigilante group.

Sgt. Phil Fish finally shows up for work after disappearing, but refuses to acknowledge his mandatory retirement.

Business turns into pleasure when Ann takes over the company's symphony account and meets with a charming visiting conductor.

Julie announces she has experienced rebirth.

George's former girlfriend arrives as an unexpected guest with devious plans.

Tom and Helen return to their honeymoon hotel on their 30th anniversary.

Fred goes into show business in order to get his brother-in-law out of the house.

Della Reese, a political campaigner, asks Fred for permission to use his home as campaign headquarters, even though Fred and Lamont support a different candidate.

Actress Dyan Cannon; sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

Dr. John Becker is easily annoyed -- by noisy neighbors, a ridiculous comment, a flickering streetlight, the antics of his misfit staff members. He's a talented and dedicated doctor and goes the extra mile for those in need, but he doesn't waste a chance to give anyone a piece of his mind.

Becker's new patient (French Stewart) drives him batty by scheduling several appointments as multiple personalities; Bob decides he wants to be a father.