KIVY-LD

Vera finds out that she is a distant cousin of Art Carney. Mel decides that he wants Art to endorse his chili and call it Chili con Carney.

Blair and Jo share a common feeling of disdain toward their graduation from Eastland.

Blair and Jo come to realize that they have learned more at Eastland than just academics.

Henry's father pays a visit with his future bride, a woman in her 40s who is pregnant with his child.

Henry's life is threatened when he's the only eyewitness in a robbery.

Mallory and Skippy are accidentally locked in the Keatons' basement.

Alex learns the art of domesticity when Lauren quits school to spend more time with him.

Terri invites Dr. Miller, a psychiatrist from the hospital, to dinner at her place to get a break from his patients; misunderstandings arise when Jack and Janet think he is a mental-ward escapee.

A policeman moves in to protect Jack after he witnesses an armed robbery.

Wojo books a man accused of disturbing the peace by making noises with his hands; A dentist is accused of molesting female patients.

Barney and Dietrich investigate a robbery case in which deadly DNA cultures were inadvertently stolen.

Julie's constant arguing with a young filmmaker convinces Ann that she is in love.

Grandmas Cooper and Romano each have their own plans for Barbara's high-school graduation night.

War breaks out between the Willises and the Jeffersons, with Lionel and Jenny as the first casualties.

George adds fuel to the fire by setting Lionel up with another girl.

Fred and Donna have reconciled their differences and are once again planning to wed.

Lamont is offered a grand piano by a wealthy eccentric if he will move it out of his apartment.

Actor Patrick Duffy; author Jearl Walker.

Reggie starts dating a guy she had a crush on during high school; Becker is upset at a colleague's success.

Bad weather grounds Becker and Reggie's flight in Buffalo, N.Y., leaving the cantankerous duo with nothing to do but complain.

During a Valentine's Day flight from Boston, Brian finds himself instantly attracted to his sole passenger.

Joe and Brian get tips from Helen on what women like in men in order to interest Alex in a date.

Paul (Paul Reiser) is troubled when his Uncle Phil (guest star Mel Brooks) has legal hassles related to his collection of coupons. With Helen Hunt.

Jamie finds herself feeling low following the birth, while Paul tries to direct his parents in "The Pirates of Penzance.".

Allison's former flame, who is an ex-convict, proposes marriage.

Mary Jo decides to go to a sperm bank to become pregnant again.

Mary tries to help Lester win a big construction contract.

A TV-station owner hires Sandra as a weather forecaster.

Jack must come up with a temporary wife to deter his boss's man-hungry daughter.

Janet inadvertently fixes Terri up with a guy she had wanted to date herself.

When George forgets Mother Jefferson's birthday, Louise saves the day.

A publisher asks Louise to write a cookbook of "ghetto" recipes.

After Lamont refuses to let Fred place a bet, Fred finds out that his number was the winner of the day.

Fred pretends to suffer from whiplash when he has an accident in the pickup truck.

Hazel buys a piece of land then finds it is nearly worthless.

Jeannie reads up on how to be an American woman from a self-help book.

Tony is assigned to serve as a technical director on a new movie.

Samantha and Endora start changing Darrin's face while he sleeps.

Darrin regrets getting involved in local politics.

Maude insists on a full court trial when she is given a speeding ticket by an eager young traffic cop.

Maude accuses Carol of marrying for convenience instead of love when she announces her plans to wed.

Mel saves Christmas for all of his friends when he turns into a real Santa Claus.

Flo tries to prove to her new boyfriend that she can drive a semi.

Part 1/4. Mrs. Garrett and the girls head for a vacation in Paris.

Part 2/4. The girls escape from boarding school to seek adventure in Paris.

Henry gets a new idea for Cosmic Cow, thanks to a story about a dog with amnesia.

Henry runs into an old Navy acquaintance, unaware that his friend is gay.

Jennifer faces possible suspension from school when she writes a report on a banned book.

Jennifer must defend herself before the school board when she writes a report on a banned book.

Jack must come up with a temporary wife to deter his boss's man-hungry daughter.

Janet inadvertently fixes Terri up with a guy she had wanted to date herself.

A census taker breaks into an apartment to count the uncooperative residents; and a burglar is kept locked in a basement cell by a vigilante tenants' group.

A divorced father reclaims custody of his son by kidnapping him; The precinct is visited by a man who claims to be from the twenty-first century.

Ann is offered a profitable career opportunity.

Ann's parents suffer marital difficulties.

When George forgets Mother Jefferson's birthday, Louise saves the day.

A publisher asks Louise to write a cookbook of "ghetto" recipes.

After Lamont refuses to let Fred place a bet, Fred finds out that his number was the winner of the day.

Fred pretends to suffer from whiplash when he has an accident in the pickup truck.

Comic actor Harvey Korman; journalist Jane Pauley; ventriloquist Ronn Lucas.

Becker receives phone calls from a woman he doesn't know, then ends up meeting her only to be shocked by a secret she's been keeping.

Becker won't listen to his doctor after he is accidentally shot during an argument between two motorists.

Joe's dismay over Sandy Cooper's (Valerie Mahaffey) return to the island prompts Helen to take him to a psychiatrist.

Antonio takes a job as a chauffeur for businessman Don DeCarlo, who Joe and Brian think is a mobster.

The Buchmans leave Mabel with a babysitter for the first time; Paul gets David Copperfield's pants from the cleaners.

Therapy reveals that Jamie may not be ready to meet Paul's expectations following the birth of their baby.

Anthony convinces his reluctant colleagues to participate in a program at his former prison.

A discussion of the Clarence Thomas hearings prompts Bernice to realize she was once sexually harassed.

Winter cold brings everyone into Mary's heated apartment.

Mary becomes jealous when she catches Lester dancing with a former high-school flame.

A guy gives Terri unwanted attention, causing her to use karate when he starts to get surly; Jack asks Terri to teach him some basic moves.

Jack tries to win over a Southern belle he insulted on a date.

Helen and Tom get caught in a tight spot -- George's bathroom.

Lionel celebrates a bit too much after graduation.

Fred schemes to get Lamont to marry a distant cousin in the hopes of obtaining her dowry.

Fred's fiancée brings a patient who is under her care to dinner at the Sanford home.

Steve is annoyed by the attention his youthful secretary is showing him.

Jeannie gets into hot water when she goes for a drive in Tony's car.

An officer's son thinks he saw magic being used at Tony's house.

Samantha and Endora take supernatural steps to prevent the demise of their favorite restaurant.

Samantha's cousin, an elf, starts playing pranks on Darrin in order to break up his marriage.

Maude and Walter are reminded of their stormy courtship days while watching election results on television.

Maude's unexpected announcement that she is pregnant brings divergent reactions from Carol and Walter.

Tommy appears on a talk show and calls Mel a cheapskate, Alice a nag, and says that Flo is the person he most admires. Vera is upset when she isn't even mentioned.

Mel sparks a controversy when he installs a punch clock in the diner.

Part 3/4. While in Paris, Mrs. Garrett attends a French culinary school, and the girls meet the local people.

Part 4/4. Jo finds it difficult to leave Paris and her new boyfriend.

Henry uses Cosmic Cow to seek a tax deduction and an honorary college degree.

Henry matches Sara and a drug-using athlete.

A grieving mother (Constance McCashin) tries to replace her late daughter with Mallory.

Jennifer angers a friend by defending him; Alex's ego is damaged when he discovers that Mallory's IQ is higher than his.

A guy gives Terri unwanted attention, causing her to use karate when he starts to get surly; Jack asks Terri to teach him some basic moves.

Jack tries to win over a Southern belle he insulted on a date.

Harris refuses to adhere to a department rule that requires all detectives to dress in full uniform one day a year.

Luger is despondent with his new assignment in the Twelfth; a man robs a liquor store with a duelist's pistol; and a citizen steals a TV from the police vault.

Schneider's job is endangered when he uses his passkey once too often.

Ann considers returning to college part-time.

Helen and Tom get caught in a tight spot -- George's bathroom.

Lionel celebrates a bit too much after graduation.

Fred schemes to get Lamont to marry a distant cousin in the hopes of obtaining her dowry.

Fred's fiancée brings a patient who is under her care to dinner at the Sanford home.

Actress Joan Collins; Samantha Smith.

Becker is forced to stay at home and deal with his neighbors during his recuperation period; Margaret and Linda try to find a fill-in doctor.

Becker believes Elizabeth might be a dishonest doctor when she lies about having aspirin to stop his pain.

Lowell attempts to eulogize his friend and mentor; Joe and Brian try to keep Helen awake for 18 hours after she suffers a head injury.

Brian pesters actor George Kennedy who seeks a quiet vacation on the island.

Jamie befriends Sarah, a single parent with a career; honors go to Paul's head; Ira dates Rebecca Lobo.

Letting Mabel cry herself to sleep turns out to be harder on Paul and Jamie (Paul Reiser, Helen Hunt) than the baby.

Allison invites herself along when Mary Jo's brother decides to take Quint on a hunting trip.

After an evening together, Julia develops a new respect for Rusty (Michael Goldfinger) the electrician.

An arrogant clergyman leads his church choir in a singing contest against Mary's group.

A week away from her 16th birthday, Brenda looks forward to her first date.

When Mr. Furley starts dating a new girl, the trio wonder why she is interested in him; Larry sets up a test to determine if she is a gold digger.

Jack assumes that Terri's nun friend wants to leave the convent to be with him.

The membership committee of an exclusive tennis club invites George to join.

George has big plans for a first-rate second wedding, but Louise is having second thoughts.

When Fred gets a toothache, he insists that Lamont find a white dentist to cure him.

Fred is convinced that Lamont's card-playing buddies are trying to take him for all his money.

A tycoon talks his wife into sponsoring a historical pageant.

Jeannie is annoyed when an old girlfriend of Tony's returns to town.

Tony and Roger are assigned to escort Russian cosmonauts during their stay in the United States.

Samantha's Aunt Clara arrives on the Stephens' first anniversary.

Darrin gets conflicting advice from Larry and Endora on how to treat his pregnant wife.

Maude and Walter try to decide what to do about her unexpected pregnancy.

Maude gets the surprise of her life when a high-school friend pays her a visit after 25 years.

Mel is excited when he hears that his mother plans on remarrying until he meets his new stepfather, who is his age.

Flo saves the day for tux-less Tommy when she outfits him for a dance.

Mrs. Garrett is angry; Jo faces expulsion.

Mrs. Garrett's move causes new problems.

Monroe takes in a runaway girl, unbeknownst to Henry and Muriel.

With college graduation approaching, Monroe applies for jobs without any success.

Andrew stops speaking as a means of dealing with his hearing-impaired friend.

Nick is reluctant to accept financial assistance from his father (Dan Hedaya); Alex shops for a used-car bargain.

When Mr. Furley starts dating a new girl, the trio wonder why she is interested in him; Larry sets up a test to determine if she is a gold digger.

Jack assumes that Terri's nun friend wants to leave the convent to be with him.

Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.

Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant looking for the missing bums; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire.

Barbara's boyfriend pressures her into consummating their relationship.

Julie announces her engagement to a guy she has known for only a week.

The membership committee of an exclusive tennis club invites George to join.

George has big plans for a first-rate second wedding, but Louise is having second thoughts.

When Fred gets a toothache, he insists that Lamont find a white dentist to cure him.

Fred is convinced that Lamont's card-playing buddies are trying to take him for all his money.

Actor Chevy Chase; comic David Sayh; actress Karen Salkin.

Jake realizes that he can't forgive the man (Cress Williams) whose drunken driving cost him his eyesight.

Becker spends Christmas Eve at the morgue when he has to identify the body of a man who died in his office; Reggie prepares for her Christmas party.

Antonio enlists the help of Joe, Fay and Roy when he searches for a woman he met briefly in the terminal.

Joe and Helen try to increase their social circle by meeting a couple (Tony Carreiro, Amy Von Nostrand) whom Fay knows.

Jamie is reluctant to stop breast-feeding Mabel, despite Paul's urgings; Jamie's mother, Theresa, dates a younger man.

Jamie's (Helen Hunt) first lover (guest star Nathan Lane) invites Paul (Paul Reiser) to speak to his class; Ira (John Pankow) helps a woman (guest star Melinda McGraw) with funeral plans.

Julia and Mary Jo suspect someone has stolen their decorating ideas for the annual Yuletide Home Tour.

The women become unwelcome guests at a men's club retreat when their van breaks down.

Sandra helps her new roommate (Kim Fields) change into a sexy vamp.

Lester needs to impress a despicable lawyer (Sherman Hemsley) in order to advance his construction company.

Jack convinces Janet and Terri to hire their former roommate Cindy as a maid to clean the apartment; it does not work out.

An efficiency expert drives Janet to quit.

George is furious when Louise hires Florence as a live-in maid.

George is overjoyed when Louise accuses him of having an affair.

A burglar leaves his gun in the Sanford house after Lamont and Rollo scare him off.

Fred is beside himself when his new Puerto Rican neighbor opens a competing junkyard.

Hazel buys a wreck, paints it green and sells it to a nurseryman.

Jeannie announces she is going to marry Roger to make Tony jealous.

Jeannie makes a double of Tony to show him how to prepare for a wedding.

Strange things begin happening to Darrin's friend Adam Newlarkin; Aunt Clara tells Samantha he has inherited the spell placed by a witch on his ancestor who was a judge in Salem 200 years before.

Gladys jumps to conclusions when she sees Samantha with a baby in her arms.

Maude heads up a vigilante group to keep a youth arrested for marijuana possession out of jail.

Maude and Walter unwittingly become part owners of a ghetto tenement.

After his wife walks out on him, Mel's old Army buddy turns up at the diner.

Flo has mixed emotions about accepting a fantastic job in another city.

Blair fires sorority-party caterer Mrs. Garrett.

Jo's new boyfriend turns out to be wealthy.

Monroe, Jackie and Sara use a home computer to bet on horse races.

Henry's contract is up for renewal and Monroe brings home his security partner, a Doberman named Kelly.

The Keatons' cousin arrives to tell of her adventures abroad, but she can't seem to get a word in edgewise.

Mallory's new boss (Deborah Angle) tries to steal her fashion idea.

Jack convinces Janet and Terri to hire their former roommate Cindy as a maid to clean the apartment; it does not work out.

An efficiency expert drives Janet to quit.

A lottery winner gives away the prize money by tossing it out a window; Dietrich is arrested for his off-duty participation at an anti-nuclear rally; Barney discovers he can't afford his condo.

Harris gets the task of booking his colleague Dietrich, whose arrest prompts a visit from Internal Affairs; A nuclear engineer is brought in for dousing the participants with atomic water.

Julie's wedding plans are complicated by the best man.

An airline strike leaves the Horvaths homeless.

George is furious when Louise hires Florence as a live-in maid.

George is overjoyed when Louise accuses him of having an affair.

A burglar leaves his gun in the Sanford house after Lamont and Rollo scare him off.

Fred is beside himself when his new Puerto Rican neighbor opens a competing junkyard.

Comic Jack Benny; football player Joe Namath; actress Elke Sommer.

Dietary changes start runaway rumors that soon have the whole community believing that Becker is going to die.

Joe and Brian are invited to a beautiful high-school classmate's (Carol Alt) last stripping performance.

Casey spots her missing husband (John Ritter) on television and goes in search of him.

Jamie convinces Paul to take separate flights to Los Angeles, then Paul decides to bring Mabel with him.

Paul and Jamie decide to see a new marriage therapist; Paul's mother gets obsessive about her new job.

Anthony's colleagues feel that he is using Carlene to curry favor with his law professor (W. Morgan Sheppard).

Julia accompanies Mary Jo when she takes her mother on an overnight bus trip.

A new superintendent is hired, though he knows more about the violin than maintaining an apartment building.

Brenda scratches the valuable blues recording her grandfather gave her.

Sparks fly between Sabrina and Josh (Melissa Joan Hart, David Lascher) at the coffeehouse while the pop group Eden's Crush (guest starring as themselves) performs.

Sabrina agrees to produce her roommate's student horror film.

Sabrina is shocked to discover Morgan's new beau is her first love, Harvey; Josh lands a job as a photojournalist.

Sabrina and the others band together to help Morgan financially after her family cuts her off, but then Morgan refuses to get a job to pay her friends back.

Mindy's cold medicine causes Mork to shrink, sending him to an upside-down planet where humor has been banished.

Mindy's cold medicine causes Mork to shrink, sending him to an upside-down planet where humor has been banished.

Having learned about the Earth custom of kissing and making up, Mork decides to start a fight with Mindy.

A pretty gold digger thinks Mork is a rich eccentric.

Latest developments in science and technology and medicine.

A weekly half-hour series featuring everyday Americans and their families, telling fascinating stories across America's heartland.

Helen (Audra Lindley) finds letters from Stanley to "Doris" and is convinced he is in love with another woman.

Jack is asked to identify a counterfeiter.

Chrissy catches Jack working as a paid escort.

The threesome accidentally sells the new landlord's furniture.

Mel finds a buyer for the diner and decides to start living the good life.

Alice disguises herself as a mobster in an effort to get the diner's new owner to give it back to Mel.

The squad tracks a mad bomber who's threatened to blow up an Army recruiting office; and Fish has to dress as a woman when it's his turn for mugging detail.

Barney and the detectives discover that someone has planted electronic bugs throughout the squad room.

Lionel and Jenny are at odds whether she should go to England.

George's sudden generosity looks like a ploy to beat out a competitor for an award.

Lamont takes his father to the hospital to find out why he's had so many heart attacks.

Fred has different plans when Lamont and Rollo plan a romantic evening with two girls.

Barbara sees her classmates commit a crime.

Ann is caught between Bob and his father.

Archie's uninsured truck hits baseball player Reggie Jackson's car.

A mugger attacks Mr. Van Rensselaer.

A psychic predicts that Maude will marry for a fifth time.

Maude's telethon is left without a disease.

Danny wants to be treated as an adult; the school psychologist suggests a radical treatment to get to the bottom of Danny's behavioral problems.

Shirley's parents become "mod" in an effort to put the zip back into their marriage.

Stockholder Hazel voices discontent when the product fails.

Hazel manages to have the water heater fixed and help George with his business on her day off.

Tony is going to look for sunken treasure; Jeannie pops Tony back to the days of Captain Kidd.

Tony is in trouble when Jeannie decides that he should be a general.

Darrin becomes a boxing contender when he knocks out a heavyweight fighter with Samantha's help.

Darrin's parents come to see their grandchild; Mr. Stephens is interested in Endora's dancing toy bear.

Actor Charles Nelson Reilly; actress Evelyn Keyes; actor Norm Crosby; Janelle Commissiong.

Chrissy catches Jack working as a paid escort.