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Alice gives Ralph's old suit to charity without knowing the pockets contain money.

Bilko is the peacemaker in a fight between a wealthy man and his son.

John Byner and Petula Clark head downtown to the show; along with classic characters, The Old Folks and Alice Portnoy, TV commercial spoofs and the firing of Donald Duck are on tap tonight.

Crooks buy a restaurant next to a bank.

Mr. Conklin finds a letter from the school board to the previous principal chastising him for his tyrannical rule. Fearing trouble for himself, he institutes a spare the rod policy that fails miserably.

ALF is convinced gangsters are chasing the Tanners' houseguest (Todd Susman). With Max Wright and Anne Schedeen.

ALF's expose earns Willie (Max Wright) a guest spot on a consumer advocate show. David Horowitz appears as himself.

Jesse catches D.J. with a can of beer in her hand at a school dance.

Michelle is jealous when the family baby-sits for a neighbor's infant.

Danny and Joey scheme to retrieve their old fraternity seal from a sorority.

Danny falls asleep while hosting a telethon and leaves the family to run the show.

Mike and Davy are kidnapped in a ghost town. Guest: Rose Marie.

The Monkees try to help a boy keep his pet horse.

Learning about bird watching.

Showcasing the efforts of compassionate individuals helping all kinds of animals in trouble and animal care tips.

A miniature potbellied pig gives a little boy the confidence and comfort he needs to make friends and to be himself; a poodle helps a visually impaired handler.

Jack counts down seven bizarre creatures.

Jesse's grandparents (Jack Kruschen, Vera Lockwood) bring special presents when they visit from Greece.

When Michelle misbehaves, it is up to Danny to discipline her.

Jesse's wardrobe for a cologne commercial is limited to a towel.

Joey and Stephanie go to a mother/daughter slumber party when Becky can't make it.

Greg Needs $150 to record his original song so he convinces his siblings to join him. They notice that Peter's voice is crackling due to puberty and have to decide to record with or without him.

Jan finds a picture of her Aunt Jenny when she was the same age and discovers they are look-alikes.

The loser of Bobby and Greg's bet must do everything the winner says for a week.

The column Peter is writing for the school newspaper is a profitable venture.

The castaways make a silent movie in the hopes that it will be discovered by someone who will rescue them.

Gilligan and the Skipper hear a radio broadcast telling of the collapse of the Howell financial empire.

Two Russian cosmonauts go off course and land in the lagoon. The castaways see this as an opportunity to leave the island, but their visitors have other plans.

The Skipper accidentally creates a radio receiver in Gilligan's mouth.

Gomer wins a boat in a jingle contest, and Carter offers to pay the upkeep and become part owner.

Con artist Friendly Freddy sells Gomer a pearl ring for Lou-Ann.

After an argument, Carter and Bunny turn their attentions toward Lou-Ann and Gomer.

A Latin American military man, observing Carter's platoon, proposes to overthrow him.

A rival banker arranges a date for Elly with a handsome model, so Drysdale counters by furnishing "Mr. Universe" as an escort.

Two confused salesmen attempt to sell Jed a cemetery plot for a much-alive Granny.

The Clampetts entertain a lady blacksmith, the social leader of hillbilly society.

Bent on a military career, Jethro experiments with underwater demolition while training to join the Navy.

Christine (Markie Post) is suspicious when Harry (Harry Anderson) secretly takes part in a government sting operation. John Astin guest stars.

Harry's (Harry Anderson) sting operation is successful; potential killers run loose in the courthouse. John Astin guest stars as Buddy Ryan.

Roz (Marsha Warfield) falls for Christine's (Markie Post) convict pen pal, unaware that he escaped while on furlough. With Harry Anderson and John Larroquette.

Christine (Markie Post) reluctantly agrees to be Art's date for the Buffalo Lodge Ball. With Harry Anderson and John Larroquette.

While the boys are on a road trip to discover their manhood, Rebecca and Lilith ogle the relief bartender.

A retiring psychic (Georgia Brown) convinces Carla she is clairvoyant and should take over her business.

Norm cannot be moved when he injures his back while painting Frasier and Lilith's apartment.

Cliff prepares for the worst when he introduces his mother to Margaret; Rebecca's fertility plan leaves Sam cold.

Bob succumbs to the pressures of living in a big city and seeks employment at a small rural college.

Bob thinks that Veronica Kidd, a student trainee, has fallen in love with him.

Bob strikes out against a friend's fear of falling, but succumbs to the same phobia himself when he is subjected to a harrowing experience in an elevator.

Bob's memory is taxed to the limit when he forgets that April 15th is the Federal income tax deadline, and also the date of the Hartleys' seventh wedding anniversary.

Max gives an easy assignment to two pupils — follow 99 while she's shopping.

Max has all kinds of trouble hunting for KAOS agent "The Chameleon.".

Sledge and Dori (David Rasche, Anne-Marie Martin) learn that clues to a series of jewel heists lead to a hairdresser. Kurt Paul and Michael Des Barres guest star.

Sledge (David Rasche) attempts to keep the KGB away from a Soviet citizen. Mark Blankfield and Lee Garlington guest star.

Groucho Marx picks apart his guests.

A collection of some of Groucho Marx's best moments on the game show "You Bet Your Life.".

The gang at the Shady Rest must make sure that socialite, Clara Watkins, has a comfortable stay if Kate is ever to get a loan again from her.

Charley decides it's time to quit as engineer of the Cannonball when the citizens of Hooterville seem too busy to spend any time with him.

Norman Curtis, the railroad president, sends his basset hound to the Shady Rest to give him a change of scenery.

Uncle Joe believes an old schoolmate of Kate's is a con artist, instead of the millionaire he says he is.

Rhoda and Brenda are stunned to learn that their parents have separated.

After their mother gets cold feet about looking for her missing husband, Rhoda and Brenda agree to do it in her place.

Ida and Rhoda quarrel over Ida's decision to date a younger man.

Brenda's happiness over Benny's proposal is marred by Ida's refusal to give the two her blessing.

Ann thinks she has a hot stock tip.

Lou hires a pop group with a surprising finale.

Ann cannot find the funds for a class reunion.

A producer hires Ann to help him during a lawsuit.

Lenny and Squiggy impose on Joey Heatherton to read one of their TV scripts.

Laverne has doubts about moving in with her beau after Lenny's surprise visit.

Laverne falls for actor Charles Grodin and mistakes his kindness for romantic interest.

Shirley tries to convince Carmine to be the groom when she is offered a free wedding reception.

Mama develops a crush on her night-school teacher (Joseph Campanella).

The Harpers baby-sit for the minister's grandson.

Mama and Naomi team up for tag-team wrestling.

Iola discovers her handmade gifts to family members are being sold at the Harpers' garage sale.

A female visitor to a country club stirs jealousy in the neighborhood.

Lucy gets involved in a flower show and starts raising tulips.

Geisha Lucy needs money for a string of pearls.

Mr. Mooney entrusts his wife's birthday present to Lucy and Viv.

Lucy poses as a wealthy heiress when she and Viv win a trip to Las Vegas.

Harry loses $100,000 when Lucy angers a rich client.

Lucy is denied a vacation by Harry because of her constant extended lunches and late mornings.

Lucy becomes involved in community affairs and almost gets expelled from the neighborhood.

Lucy and Ethel disguise themselves as hillbillies when the men and women can't decide how to celebrate the Mertzes' 18th wedding anniversary.

A cruise to Australia includes Julie's wedding; an anthropologist seeks a missing link; Stubing romances the anthropologist's wife (Katherine Helmond); Julie is replaced; guests Patrick Duffy, Anthony Andrews.

A cruise to Australia includes Julie's wedding, a search for a creature, a teacher's romance and Julie's replacement.

A young wife orders a water bed. "Love and the Lady Barber" Herb falls for a lady barber.

Gil and Zachary hide out in a big Hollywood studio.

Helen accuses Elaine of trying to seduce her husband; Dick gives Nan a birthday present.

Charlie is hired to keep an eye on a girl. "Love and the Advice Column" Sally is so upset by a column that she calls off her wedding.

Mike and Harold have an argument just before the annual fishing trip.

Sam is embarrassed when his bean crop fails and Millie's prospers.

Mike, Aunt Bee, and Millie join forces to persuade Sam to let Mike have a dog.

An oil-company efficiency expert forces Goober's gas station into a big-city mold.

As new editor of the school newspaper, D.J. must fire the sports editor, Kimmy Gibbler.

Michelle's teacher (Roseanne Katon) gets more than she bargained for when Jesse volunteers at the school.

Joey's father is invited to watch him perform in Wayne Newton's Las Vegas show.

D.J. learns a valuable lesson when she decides to go on a crash diet.

Cindy's dilemma: Having to decide whether to invite her mother or new stepfather to her school play because of the school's undersized auditorium. It becomes too much for her to decide, so she schemes to drop out of the play.

A grandfatherly Chinese (Keye Luke) "adopts" the twins.

Kathy attempts to prove that she's the "woman behind the man.".

The Stones meet celebrities while in Hollywood.

Robbie becomes the school advice-columnist.

Robbie deals to get a car to win a girl.

Enemy agents seeking a secret formula chase Lucy through an airport.

Chris takes a soda-shop job to pay for a parade uniform.

Lucy believes Ricky is losing interest in her. Ethel finds a book that offers suggestions such as: dressing up for breakfast, taking up her husband's hobbies, and surrounding their apartment with things that remind her husband of his childhood.

The Ricardos and Mertzes discover they've put on a few pounds over the last few years. An unhappy Lucy talks Ricky into letting her audition for a show, and he tells her that she can have the part if she loses enough weight to fit the costume.

Laura confesses to Rob that she lied about her age on their marriage certificate.

Lou leaves Mary in charge of the newsroom when he checks into the hospital for minor surgery.

Roger's irresponsible younger brother comes to town to straighten out his life.

Squiggy is jealous of Lenny's relationship with an attractive woman.

April fears she will not pass a citizenship test; a man (Michael J. Fox) dislikes a crew member; a woman plots to snare a bachelor.

Vicki meets a young passenger with a drug problem; Gopher's uncle (Red Buttons) falls in love; a man enters into a competitive romance.

When Granny spies a group of movie actors dressed as Union soldiers, she prepares to go to war with them.

Granny recruits her own commandos against the Union when she thinks battle scenes for a Civil War movie are the real thing.

Vint's embarrassed at work when Mama brings him his childhood lunch box.

A typical Russian homemaker visits the all-American Harper family.

Janet's former husband shows up as she and Lamont prepare for their wedding day.

Fred becomes a clergyman of the Divine Profit Church to avoid paying taxes.

When a crowded subway is invaded by an obnoxious drunk, Mike violates one of his strongest principles.

The Bunker home is ravaged by fire -- then by Archie -- in an effort to collect more insurance money.

Melanie and Jack want to add spice to their relationship; Victoria becomes a vodka spokesperson; Joy's new hairstyle backfires; Elka and Mayor Deacon have an affair.

Joy helps Melanie convince Jenna to attend medical school; Victoria obsesses about a nude scene; Elka takes Lance, the "Councilman for the Day," under her wing.

Laura spends a night alone in the house when Rob and Richie go fishing.

The Petrie home becomes a command post when government agents move in.

Carla's offspring are guinea pigs for Rebecca and Sam; Cliff attempts to videotape Woody and Kelly.

Carla fears that Boston Celtics forward Kevin McHale is turning into one of the bar bunch; Lilith gets a new hairdo.

A couple of cabbies quickly claim responsibility when Elaine begins receiving mysterious love messages from a secret admirer.

Oscar learns that Felix's new girlfriend is not just the librarian he thinks she is.