2024-10-06
Booze-swilling, pot-smoking, hard-swearing seventh-grade teacher Elizabeth competes against a prudish colleague for the affections of handsome and rich substitute teacher Scott in this hilariously filthy comedy. If Elizabeth can motivate her students to win an academic contest that will help her pay for breast implants, perhaps she will finally be able to attract Scott's attention. (Repeat).
A look at upcoming Major League Baseball postseason action, plus playoff highlights and discussion. (Live).
Major League Baseball action. (Live).
When an earthquake strikes, Cameron and Mitchell see a way out of a costume brunch thrown by their friend Pepper (Nathan Lane); Claire is trapped in the bathroom with a plumber; and Manny undergoes a crisis of existential proportions on an outing with Jay. (Repeat).
Claire and Mitchell make a pact to be honest with each other's mates about, respectively, Cameron's choice of attire and Phil's speech at an upcoming banquet. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria attend a milestone birthday party for an employee's daughter. (Repeat).
The Dunphys try to avoid a complete communication breakdown by going without their electronic devices. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron shop for preschools for Lily; and Jay and Manny worry about Gloria's obsession with a neighbor's barking dog. (Repeat).
Major League Baseball action. (Live).
Studio discussions, game highlights and interviews following Major League Baseball's playoffs. (Live).
During the 1980s, a failed stand-up comedian is driven insane and turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City while becoming an infamous psychopathic crime figure. (Repeat).
Kingsman is forced to operate with no home base after an evil corporation known as the Golden Circle destroys their headquarters in this action-packed thriller. The elite group must team up with an allied organization called Statesman to save the world. (Repeat).
Claire's elaborate Halloween plans depend on the rest of the family's help with trick-or-treaters. Meanwhile, the holiday conjures up terrible memories for Cameron; Mitchell has a bad day at the office; and Jay and Manny poke fun at Gloria's accent. (Repeat).
Phil is perplexed by a faulty smoke detector; Claire and Haley get sick at the same time; Gloria and Manny's surprise visit to Jay's workplace doesn't make his job any easier; Cameron can't resist trying to get Lily in a commercial. (Repeat).
A party at a restaurant for Manny's birthday makes the honored guest anxious about his age, gives Claire and Phil a reason to race each other and offers Cameron a chance to meet new people at the mall when he and Mitchell go shopping for a gift. Norman Lloyd ("St. Elsewhere") guest stars. (Repeat).
A visit from Cameron's force-of-nature mother (Celia Weston) makes Mitchell nervous; Phil is distraught over Haley's breakup with Dylan; Jay's stomach ailment gets worse after he and Manny log on to a medical Web site. (Repeat).
The first school dance for Luke and Manny prompts an eventful trip to the mall for Jay and Phil, and Claire doesn't need Gloria's help on the parents' dance committee. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron are surprised by Lily's antisocial behavior at the playground. (Repeat).
Part 1 of two. The friends imagine their lives with different outcomes. For instance: Monica ends up an obese virgin, while an unhappily wed Rachel lusts after soap-star Joey. Carol: Jane Sibbett. Dr. Roger: Pat Finn. Hope: Kristian Alfonso. (Repeat).
Conclusion. As the gang pictures their lives with different outcomes, Chandler still falls for Monica, while Ross works on his marriage to Carol (Jane Sibbett), who is a closeted lesbian. Susan: Jessica Hecht. Barry: Mitchell Whitfield. (Repeat).
An old gift from Janice (Maggie Wheeler) ruins Chandler's date with Monica; Rachel and Phoebe take a self-defense class; Joey finds a guy to pose as his twin for a get-rich-quick scheme. Gunther: James Michael Tyler. Joey: Matt LeBlanc. (Repeat).
Ross fears he's robbing the cradle when a student (Alexandra Holden) asks him out; a fire destroys Phoebe and Rachel's place; Joey has an audition for a new Al Pacino movie. Dana: Bess Meyer. Burt: Richard Roat. Fireman: Greg Wrangler. (Repeat).
When Rachel needs an escort for a charity ball, the gang vies to find her Prince Charming; Ross frets over Elizabeth's rowdy spring-break plans. Elizabeth: Alexandra Holden. Eldad: Josh Coxx. Patrick: Chris Kennedy. (Repeat).
In this riveting sci-fi action film, two scientists race to avert a catastrophe when a series of climate-control satellites malfunction. They soon discover a conspiracy involving the satellites, which were designed to prevent natural disasters on Earth. (Repeat).