2024-09-24
After his insensitive birthday gift to Lisa, Homer hires a PI to dig up information on her so he can know her better. But there's a problem with the bill. Hank Azaria, Yeardley Smith, Harry Shearer. (Repeat).
After a mugging, Marge becomes agoraphobic, until she starts weight training, which turns her into a buff bully who enters a bodybuilding contest. Pamela Reed, Julie Kavner, Harry Shearer. (Repeat).
Coincidences lead Homer to believe he's got a direct prayer line to God, which doesn't stop him from suing when he falls at church. Lisa Leslie has a cameo. Dan Castellaneta, Harry Shearer, Yeardley Smith. (Repeat).
Jane Kaczmarek, skateboarder Tony Hawk and Blink 182 are guest voices in the 300th episode as Bart divorces his parents after learning that Homer put him in an embarrassing commercial as a baby and then spent all the residuals. Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner. (Repeat).
Spelling champ Lisa makes the Spellympics, where host George Plimpton proposes a deal; Homer joins a traveling fan club for a new Krusty food product. Yeardley Smith, Dan Castellaneta, Harry Shearer. (Repeat).
Gene gets his first girlfriend, but it doesn't take long for the family to realize that she is incredibly annoying and they pressure him to break up with her. When Gene finally decides to end things, he discovers that her father is a songwriter and could be instrumental to launching his music career. (Repeat).
When Bob inherits a storage unit around Christmas, visions of riches dance in the heads of the family, but what they find inside is a squatter who claims he once worked as a mannequin. In the spirit of the season, they invite the man to live in the restaurant, where he displays a knack for holiday decorating. (Repeat).
Linda worries that her relationship with Louise isn't as good as it should be, so, much to Louise's chagrin, she forces the young lady to participate in a mother-daughter seminar. With mom away, Tina turns to Bob for a lesson in shaving her legs. (Repeat).
The new health inspector proves to be a decent fellow, until he blackmails Bob into being allowed to perform his atrocious music at the restaurant, which drives away the customers. To rectify the situation, Bob tracks down Hugo, the former inspector, who has retired to a nudist beach, where Bob bares more than his soul in an effort to get Hugo to go back to work. (Repeat).
Tina tries to discover who's behind a series of pranks at the Belcher children's middle school. (Repeat).
Bob tries to sweeten Linda's Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped pancake, but when that doesn't stack up, the kids convince him to let them skip school and help him find the perfect gift for the holiday. Meanwhile, Linda celebrates the day by holding a speed-dating event at the restaurant, but the idea hits a snag. (Repeat).
Part 1 of 2. In the Season 17 premiere, Brian meets and falls in love with a woman named Jess, who reveals she has cancer. After she receives devastating news regarding her diagnosis, Brian proposes marriage to her. (Repeat).
Conclusion. Brian's marriage to Jess is not what he envisioned. At the suggestion of Peter, Brian lets himself go, causing Jess to make a surprising decision (Repeat).
To Stewie's surprise, he quickly befriends a boy his age, but is devastated when he realizes he isn't invited to his birthday party. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois attend a self-empowerment seminar. (Repeat).
After Brian teases Stewie for being small, Stewie invents a shrinking machine that results in both of them shrinking to a microscopic size. (Repeat).
Lois receives a surprising birthday present from her father, Carter Pewterschmidt, that leads to an unfortunate accident, leaving him dependent on Lois and the Griffin's care. (Repeat).
Meg saves Stewie from a choking incident, so Stewie makes it his personal mission to create a better life for Meg. Meanwhile, Chris is sent to a vocational school. (Repeat).
To the surprise of all the Griffins, Meg makes the U.S. Olympic team as a biathlete and competes in the Winter Olympics. (Repeat).
Stewie and Brian compete for the inheritance of a wealthy, older heiress. Meanwhile, Peter and Chris battle for Mr. Herbert's affection. (Repeat).
The crew goes to future Rome to unlock Leonardo da Vinci's secret. (Repeat).
Bender gets disturbing news about his health. (Repeat).
The Professor's time machine only goes one way---the future---so the crew keeps going ahead until they can find one that can journey to the past. (Repeat).
Earth is overrun by a race of intelligent felines. (Repeat).
On Malory's orders, Lana helps Hollywood star Rona Thorne (voice of Rachael Harris) research her role in a spy thriller while Malory writes a role for herself in the movie (with Cyril's reluctant assistance). Meanwhile, Pam steals Rona's diary. (Repeat).
Breast cancer strikes the Archer family---Sterling has it. "I'm trying to stay positive," he says. "I can beat this." But before surgery, he wants to bond with young Seamus (even though he isn't actually the baby's father) and take a Las Vegas vacation. (Repeat).
When Archer discovers that the chemotherapy drugs he has been taking are phony, he goes on a rampage against the Irish gangsters behind the scheme. He also makes friends with a fellow marijuana-toking cancer patient (voice of Joan Van Ark). Meanwhile, Cyril learns why Krieger is fluent in Portuguese. Darren Criss ("Glee") provides the voices of Mikey and Tommy. (Repeat).
Pam is abducted by kidnappers who mistake her for Cheryl. It seems that Cheryl wasn't completely forthcoming about her background when she applied for her job at ISIS. (Repeat).
A dog named Enzo wants to be reincarnated into a human.The dog reflects on his life and relationship with a Formula One race car driver who understands that the techniques needed on the racetrack can also be used to successfully navigate everyday life. (Repeat).
Football hero Kurt Warner started as an undrafted NFL player and later became a two-time Most Valuable Player awardee who led his team to win the Super Bowl. Before his career could take off, Kurt struggles with the decision of playing football, ending up as a supermarket employee. But with the support of his wife Brenda and guidance from Coach Dick Vermeil, Kurt embarks on a play that would soon