Laff TV (DISH) (LAFF)

Heidi goes into labor---on the road with Jill and Tim, who act as coach and receiver, respectively, while Wilson offers instructions over the phone. Ned: Tom Poston. Sparky: Patrick Cronin. Wilson: Earl Hindman. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).

Tim prefers to not invite Benny to Thanksgiving---until he spies Benny at a soup kitchen. The episode features a dream sequence in stop-animation, and cameos by race-car drivers Michael and Mario Andretti. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).

Brad throws himself into his new job at a sporting-goods store, but Jill and Tim worry that it's becoming his top priority. Rob: Mitch Rouse. Holly: Caroline Keenan. Brad: Zachery Ty Bryan. Jason: Jarrad Paul. Tim: Tim Allen. Jill: Patricia Richardson. (Repeat).

Tim objects to the plans the new owners have for his boyhood home. Lucille: Bonnie Bartlett. Marty: William O'Leary. The Burtons: Leslie Bibb, Jim Pirri. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Tim: Tim Allen. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

A spoiled rich woman stiffs a carpenter, who is the first one to find her when she has amnesia; he gets revenge by conning her into thinking she's his wife and the mother of his four kids. (Repeat).

Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase in a thriller about a plot to assassinate the Pope in San Francisco. Burgess Meredith, Rachel Roberts, Dudley Moore. Archbishop: Eugene Roche. Directed by Colin Higgins. (Repeat).

On a trip to San Francisco to compete for a music grant, a young researcher meets a zany college dropout. Their unpredictable and wacky relationship adds to the antics of the film when four identical plaid bags go missing with valuable contents in them. (Repeat).

The family car is disabled, so ALF salvages gold from his crippled spaceship and buys Lynn a Ferrari. Max Wright. Kate: Anne Schedeen. Bert: Robert Costanzo. Brian: Benji Gregory. (Repeat).

Some lessons are learned the hard way, like leaving a toddler alone with paint; missing the bus; or the girl who got morning and night mixed up. (Repeat).

Videos include: senior citizen mischief; "Bill and Al's Big Adventure"; and quarrelsome pets. (Repeat).

Kranky Hanky, Bass-o-Matic, Scratch That Itch. (Repeat).

In this unique film, a slacker learns that he's inherited a small fortune from his estranged father, although his sister isn't happy about this. As he tries to get his life in order, his womanizing best friend romances his dad's former girlfriend. (Repeat).

Cheryl wants to lend Andy money for a down payment on a condo, but Jim is opposed, having secretly depleted their vacation account. Andy: Larry Joe Campbell. Dana: Kimberly Williams. Cheryl: Courtney Thorne-Smith. (Repeat).

Cheryl's Valentine's Day gift to Jim is a boudoir photo of herself---which he proudly shares with his bandmates. Michelle: Mary Randle. Kenny: Ted Michaels. Cheryl: Courtney Thorne-Smith. Andy: Larry Joe Campbell. (Repeat).

In the fourth-season finale, Ryan reunites with his ill father on a hunting trip, but then his dad reveals he's been dishonest. Meanwhile, Vanessa desperately tries to get more relatives to come to Kristin and Ryan's wedding. (Repeat).

In the fifth-season opener, Mike returns from a long road trip and finds life very hectic at home and at work. Meanwhile, a tornado is headed for town. (Repeat).

Mike wants Boyd to walk home from school on his own, but Ryan's hesitant to allow this. Meanwhile, Ed and Kyle host a meeting for folks preparing for doomsday; and Eve and Mandy try to keep Vanessa in the dark about something. (Repeat).

Vanessa wants a woman to be elected president, and she tries to get Eve to support this idea. Meanwhile, Ed reveals to Mike that he hasn't been in touch with his daughter for years, prompting Mike and Mandy search for common ground. (Repeat).

Abishola and Kemi are conflicted as to how to handle Morenike after she confides her deepest secret to them. Also, when Bob gets credit for Christina's idea for a Twitter marketing campaign, she considers leaving MaxDot. (Repeat).

After Abishola has a romantic dream about Bob, she tries to suppress her feelings for him and pays the price. (Repeat).

When Adam takes his kids to work with him for the day, they accidentally give his biggest client lice. Also, Andi feels like a bad mom when she's the only one in the family not to get lice. (Repeat).

When Adam notices his dad's increasingly forgetful behavior, he struggles with how to approach him to discuss it. (Repeat).

On his birthday, Jim sticks to his guns when he asserts Cheryl's presents are meant to make him something he's not. Kyle: Conner Rayburn. (Repeat).

Cheryl's under the impression that she's going to a lingerie party, but what she winds up buying is unmentionable to Jim. Bernice: Laurel Green. Ryan: Mitch Rouse. (Repeat).

In his ongoing feud with a neighbor (Julie Newmar), Jim is far from the cat's meow when she accuses him of stealing her dog. Directed by Kimberly Williams-Paisley, who plays Cheryl's sister, Dana. (Repeat).

Jim's up a family tree when he meets the father (Joseph Bologna) who abandoned him as a child. Directed by Jim Belushi. Heather: Caitlin Dulany. Justin: Austin Majors. (Repeat).

After Jill chastises Tim for buying a saleswoman's flirtatious act, she's caught flirting (albeit subconsciously) to get out of a ticket. Matthews: Rick Lenz. Off. Hiller: Mike Starr. Patty: Tammy Lauren. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).

Randy is teased at school after Mark intervenes in his scuffle with a bully; and the Beach Boys visit their cousin Wilson. Lauren: Courtney Peldon. Eric: Josh Paddock. Randy: Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

"Tool Time" is taped in front of Swedish buyers who are considering the show for the European market. Sy: Drew Carey. Fred: Harry Groener. June: Gretchen German. Director: Peter Bonerz. Bjorn: Craig Richard Nelson. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

A singer hints that she had an affair with Tim's father; Tim forgets where he hid Jill's Valentine's Day gift. Liddy: Anne Francis. Tina: Janeane Garofalo. Mel: Anthony Russell. Tim: Tim Allen. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

Kristin and Ryan go head-to-head in a business negotiation for Outdoor Man that puts their marriage in a sticky situation. Meanwhile, Vanessa and Mandy compete to see who can log the most steps in a day. (Repeat).

After Mike's doctor recommends that he start stretching, Mike uses Chuck's injury as an excuse to get out of yoga with Vanessa. Meanwhile, Kristin and Ryan and Mandy and Kyle each believe the other couple is jealous of their relationship. (Repeat).

Mandy gets jealous after Mike spends time with Ryan at a marketing retreat. Meanwhile, Ed attempts to get Chuck and Joe to see a musical. (Repeat).

Mike teaches Kristin about work/life balance, as Vanessa and Mandy school Jen on camping. Meanwhile, Ed asks Kyle how to get into heaven. Then, after Mike's beloved truck is stolen, the Baxter family and friends gather together. (Repeat).

Eric's job at a burger place keeps him from a party thrown by Donna, who wants to be alone with him while her parents are away. Ricky: Danny Bonaduce. Burkhart: Paul Kreppel. Red: Kurtwood Smith. Eric: Topher Grace. (Repeat).

The gang's finding of a keg of beer demands a party, and a location is found. But tapping the keg proves problematic, and there are parents in pursuit. Red: Kurtwood Smith. Eric: Topher Grace. Donna: Laura Prepon. (Repeat).

Donna wants Kelso and Jackie along as company, but Eric doesn't when they make their first trip to the drive-in; and Red and Kitty have their first encounter with a salad bar. The Erdmans: Shannon Holt, Kevin Farley. (Repeat).

Kitty coaches Hyde for a trip to a disco, where Fez shines on the floor with Jackie. Kitty: Debra Jo Rupp. Fez: Wilmer Valderrama. Jackie: Mila Kunis. Hyde: Danny Masterson. Bob: Don Stark. Midge: Tanya Roberts (Repeat).

Darlene figures out a new plan to afford Mark's college tuition. Meanwhile, Jackie and Louise try to help Becky meet a new guy. (Repeat).

Neville confronts Jackie about loaning Dan money. Darlene attempts to play matchmaker for Mark. (Repeat).

Adam helps his daughter through a momentous occasion. Also: Andi takes Emme and Teddy to the zoo, but gets stuck in traffic on the way. (Repeat).

Jealousy impacts Adam after he discovers Andi has a close male friend at work. (Repeat).

Claudia learns the results of her pregnancy test and Sean celebrates the news with a major purchase: a bar that Eddie plans to burn down for the insurance money. Meanwhile, Lilly and Brad try their luck at getting liquored-up; and Henry develops a craving for a different kind of watering-hole delicacy. Pennix: Dan Martin. Brad: Bret Harrison. Reggie: Steve Larson. (Repeat).

Sean blows his shot at snagging a loan from Claudia's dad (Stephen Root) after losing the car he gave Lily for her birthday in a street race. Meanwhile, Henry and Jimmy put the squeeze on their grandfather for some hefty Tooth Fairy funds. Eugenio: Wilmer Valderrama. Henry: Jake Burbage. Jimmy: Griffin Franzen. Lily: Lynsey Bartilson. (Repeat).

After he complains about the family camping trip, ALF is told to leave, and soon he finds himself in an "alien" environment. Willie: Max Wright. Artie: Mickey Jones. Sam: Sam Whipple. Brian: Benji Gregory. (Repeat).

Willie and ALF get lost searching for a Christmas-tree farm after an artificial tree fails to imbue the family with holiday spirit. Kate: Anne Schedeen. Trevor: John La Motta. Lynn: Andrea Elson. Brian: Benji Gregory. (Repeat).

Featured are unexceptional athletes, setting sail on the high sea, poetry in motion, and medical malfeasance. (Repeat).

A funny funeral is featured. Parents figure out their kid just isn't cut out to be a star athlete. (Repeat).

Segments include "Flying Bagels"; "Robotic Assistance"; and "Ticket Toss Up". (Repeat).

Segments include "Break Some Eggs"; "Lady of the Lake"; and "Winning Ticket". (Repeat).

On a trip to San Francisco to compete for a music grant, a young researcher meets a zany college dropout. Their unpredictable and wacky relationship adds to the antics of the film when four identical plaid bags go missing with valuable contents in them. (Repeat).

Jim says his previous racquetball loss to Cheryl was intentional, prompting a rematch that's not all on the up-and-up. Cheryl: Courtney Thorne-Smith. Dana: Kimberly Williams. Andy: Larry Joe Campbell. (Repeat).

After learning Jim's taking blood-pressure medicine, Cheryl asks that he share his feelings to alleviate stress, thus causing more. Doctor: Jeffrey King. Andy: Larry Joe Campbell. Dana: Kimberly Williams. Cheryl: Courtney Thorne-Smith. (Repeat).

Mike thinks Boyd should attend private school after his public school suspends him. Meanwhile, Kristin and Kyle search the restaurant for a loose raccoon; and Mandy proves to be photo shy when Eve wants to take pictures of her for a class assignment. (Repeat).

Mike gets a classic car as a birthday present from his family, but he doesn't get much alone time with his car because its former owner keeps stopping by. Meanwhile, Mandy thinks it's unfair when Vanessa gives Eve permission to go to a music festival. (Repeat).

Vanessa and Carol prank their husbands after the men skip out on giving out Halloween candy in favor of watching football. Elsewhere, Kyle dons an Ed costume because he considers Ed his hero, but Ed has an unexpected reaction to this. (Repeat).

Kristin wants Mike to treat her like an employee and not like a daughter regarding their restaurant business, but Mike struggles with this. Elsewhere, Mandy and Kyle try to reignite the flame between Ed and his ex-girlfriend. (Repeat).

Abishola and Kemi take a directionless Christina to see a Yoruba priest, where she learns that her toxic relationship with her mother may be stifling her growth. Also, Bob deals with the fallout of promoting Kofo over Goodwin when Goodwin has a panic attack at work. (Repeat).

Bob and Abishola finally go on a proper date, which is interrupted by Dottie's medical emergency. (Repeat).

When Adam and Andi agree on a present-free Valentine's Day, Adam gives the gift he planned for Andi to his mother instead. (Repeat).

When Andi gets Bev a spot volunteering at the hospital, Joe becomes bored and starts spending too much time with Adam. (Repeat).

When Jim's big mouth brings a neighbor to tears at a backyard party, he makes a vow to be more tactful in the future. Fay: Jill Holden. Bob: H. Richard Greene. Monique: Francoise Gralewski. (Repeat).

Jim's traditional Green Man getup for St. Patrick's Day has Cheryl seeing red when she worries about a spot on the church committee. Rev. Shelton: Edmund L. Shaff. Directed by Larry Joe Campbell. (Repeat).

A jealous and lonely Jim makes all the wrong moves when he believes Andy's found a new best friend. (Repeat).

Ryan is thrilled when Dana's pregnant, but Jim counsels him on how the hormonal changes will affect her behavior. Ryan: Mitch Rouse. (Repeat).

After a critic declares performance artist Wilson out of touch with reality, the Taylors' neighbor decides to be more like...Tim. Wilson: Earl Hindman. Stuart: Robert Forrest. Benny: Jim Labriola. Harry: Blake Clark. (Repeat).

The night before his wedding, Al expresses doubts about whether Ilene is right for him. Al: Richard Karn. Ilene: Sherry Hursey. Patty: Tammy Lauren. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Harry: Blake Clark. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).

A blowup between Harry and his son keys Jill and Tim into a bigger question of sensitivity and discipline with their boys. Harry: Blake Clark. Dennis: David DeLuise. Delores: Shirley Prestia. Mark: Taran Noah Smith. (Repeat).

Brad has an accident on his first night out with his driver's license---but it's more serious than what he tells his parents. Members of racing's Unser family (Al Sr., Al Jr. and Al Richard) have cameos. Brad: Zachery Ty Bryan. Patty: Tammy Lauren. (Repeat).