2024-09-17
Carrie decides to go back to college after some lawyers from work look down on her for being a secretary; Doug's sister (Ricki Lake) visits. Lisa: Nadia Dajani. Shelli: Maura Vincent. Laura-Beth: Jennifer Tung. Rohit: Ari Green. Kira: Melissa Marsala. Woman: Deborah Ostrowsky. Carrie: Leah Remini. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
Doug's car breaks down, so he goes out and buys a new truck---just as his union goes on strike against his employer. Marty: James Michael Connor. Employee: Fred Stoller. Spence: Patton Oswalt. Deacon: Victor Williams. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
Doug discovers he has a lot to learn when he takes a job as a substitute teacher while his union is on strike. Stephanie: Ricki Lake. Pruzan: Alex Skuby. Joey: Jerry Ferrara. Liz: Rachel Duncan. Samantha: Kimi Reichenberg. Ron: Eric Hodges. Vosk: Al Pugliese. Teacher: Larry Newman. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
Doug and Deacon, who are out of work because of a strike, resort to playing sophomoric pranks, along with Arthur, to keep from going stir crazy. But they're driving Carrie and Kelly nuts. Kelly: Merrin Dungey. Kirby: Marshaun Daniel. Host: Steven Houska. Deacon: Victor Williams. Arthur: Jerry Stiller. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
George's relationship with a former IRS worker (Valerie Mahaffey) eases Jerry's tax worries---until she becomes George's former relationship; Kramer sees too much of Elaine while seeing her roommate (Siobhan Fallon). (Repeat).
Elaine regrets accompanying Jerry on a visit to his parents (Liz Sheridan, Barney Martin), where local gossip includes how Jerry acquired a pen that writes upside down. (Repeat).
Jerry's gig as a dog sitter provides some time alone to George and Elaine, who find they have little to say. Gavin: Joseph Maher. George: Jason Alexander. Elaine: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Kramer: Michael Richards. (Repeat).
A library cop says Jerry is 20 years overdue with a steamy novel. Sherry: Cynthia Szigeti. Marion: Ashley Gardner. Heyman: Biff Yeager. George: Jason Alexander. Kramer: Michael Richards. (Repeat).
Bonnie and Adam go on a double date with Jill and Andy. Also, Tammy recruits Christy to mediate a sensitive situation with Marjorie. (Repeat).
Christy regrets fleeing the scene after hitting a car. Also, Bonnie's therapist offers ways to help her better communicate with Adam. (Repeat).
Christy and the ladies rally around Tammy when she has trouble adjusting to early release from parole. Also, Bonnie is disappointed when her perfect birthday gift for Adam gets a lukewarm response. (Repeat).
Bonnie is forced to relive painful Christmas memories when Christy recounts tales from her childhood to Bonnie's sponsee, Patty. (Repeat).
Paid Programming. (Repeat).
Paid Programming. (Repeat).
Andy is captured by two bank robbers (Charles Dierkop, Joe Turkel), and Howard and Otis attempt to rescue him. Otis: Hal Smith. Howard: Jack Dodson. (Repeat).
Goober returns from a hunting trip with a beard he's convinced makes him an intellectual, but he's the only one convinced. Bill: Richard Bull. Edna: Christina Burke. Goober: George Lindsey. Floyd: Howard McNear. (Repeat).
A new doctor (William Christopher) comes to town and encounters difficulty being accepted because no one wants to be his first patient. Christopher made one other guest appearance a year earlier in 1965. At the time, he was also a regular on "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." as Pvt. Lester Hummel. Six years later, Christopher starred on "M*A*S*H" as Father Mulcahy. (Repeat).
Townsfolk are taken in by a stranger (Roger Perry) with a get-rich-quick scheme that involves investing in a search for buried treasure. Wilson: Dick Ryan. Aunt Bee: Frances Bavier. Goober: George Lindsey. Helen: Aneta Corsaut. (Repeat).
Hawkeye is threatened with a court-martial by a spit-and-polish general (Harry Morgan) until the latter reveals he's a five-star crackpot. Marty: Theodore Wilson. Col. Atkins: Brad Trumbull. Harrison: Dennis Erdman. Baker: Lynnette Mettey. Morgan won a Supporting Actor Emmy as Gen. Bartford Hamilton Steel in this third-season premiere, and would return for good the following year as Col. Sherman P
Hawkeye and Trapper put their R & R plans on hold to retrieve wounded American prisoners from the Chinese. Dr. Lin Tam: Mako. Loudon Wainwright III made the first of his three appearances as the guitar-playing Capt. Calvin Spalding. Frank: Larry Linville. Radar: Gary Burghoff. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. (Repeat).
Hawkeye is on duty as Officer of the Day, and Col. Flagg (Edward Winter) wants a wounded prisoner patched up for execution. Sang Yu: Jerry Fujikawa. Carter: Dennis Troy. Igor: Jeff Maxwell. Frank: Larry Linville. Trapper: Wayne Rogers. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. This episode contains Hawkeye's "I will not carry a gun" speech. (Repeat).
A classic Western with an impending range war, rustlers and the man hired to clean things up. Ben: Lorne Greene. Joe: Michael Landon. Logan: Steve Forrest. Anita: Miriam Colon. Slater: Warren Kemmerlin. (Repeat).
A kidnapped Doc must choose between saving an outlaw's life or losing his own. Festus: Ken Curtis. Bede: James Olson. Danny: Darrell Larson. (Repeat).
An adventure to settle an $11 estate. Festus: Ken Curtis. Sarah: Susan Oliver. Chad: Josh Albee. Clay: Ike Eisenmann. Charity: Diane Shalet. Matt: James Arness. (Repeat).
Harry Morgan as a farmer accused of shooting someone in the back. Matt: James Arness. Norcross: Joseph Campanella. Doc: Milburn Stone. (Repeat).
A long, sad journey for a dying gunman trying to reach his estranged daughters. Matt: James Arness. Maddy: Sandra Smith. Marion: Sheila Larken. Gwenn: Jay MacIntosh. Doc: Milburn Stone. (Repeat).
Barney is booted out of Mrs. Mendlebright's boarding house for violating her rules against cooking and using high-wattage bulbs, so he moves into the courthouse. This episode contains the hilarious scene in which Andy finds Barney covered with lipstick kisses. Mrs. Mendlebright: Enid Markey. Thelma Lou: Betty Lynn. Opie: Ronny Howard. Fields: J. Pat O'Malley. (Repeat).
Barney and Andy nudge Gomer into a blind date with Thelma Lou's homely cousin (Mary Grace Canfield) by telling him "she's nice, real nice." Thelma Lou: Betty Lynn. Barney: Don Knotts. Helen: Aneta Corsaut. Opie: Ronny Howard. (Repeat).
Gomer makes a citizen's arrest on Barney when the deputy makes an illegal U-turn. Gomer: Jim Nabors. Barney: Don Knotts. Otis: Hal Smith. Opie: Ronny Howard. (Repeat).
Opie and his pals play Robin Hood and steal from so-called rich Mayberry folks so they can feed a hobo (Douglas Fowley) who tells them that lawmen can't be trusted. Johnny: Richard Keith. Howie: Dennis Rush. Opie: Ronny Howard. Barney: Don Knotts. Aunt Bee: Frances Bavier. (Repeat).
It's Barney to the rescue after a landslide traps Andy and Helen in a cave. What he doesn't know, however, is that the two have already escaped. Helen: Aneta Corsaut. Thelma Lou: Betty Lynn. Gomer: Jim Nabors. (Repeat).
Ray goes to great lengths and considerable expense to get back a valuable trading card that Ally had but Ray made her return because he thought she was getting taken in a trade. Russell: Paul Reubens. Parker: David Hunt. Tyler: Scotty Leavenworth. Ally: Madylin Sweeten. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Ray, Frank and Robert are amazed when Debra makes braciole and it actually tastes good, but Marie is crushed that Debra may be turning into a good cook. Andy: Andy Kindler. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Marie: Doris Roberts. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Ray and Debra encourage Ray's parents to broaden their social life, but Frank and Marie can't seem to do it without including Ray in the mix. Seth: Dom Irrera. Harry: David Byrd. Rita: Anna Berger. Marie: Doris Roberts. Frank: Peter Boyle. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Ray can't understand why Debra wants some time to be alone, and when he tells his parents about it, they really can't understand. Ray: Ray Romano. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Marie: Doris Roberts. Frank: Peter Boyle. Robert: Brad Garrett. (Repeat).
Robert becomes depressed when he learns that he must spend another three weeks recuperating at his parents' house, and Frank and Marie become desperate to get him to move out earlier. Robert: Brad Garrett. Marie: Doris Roberts. Frank: Peter Boyle. (Repeat).
Ray believes PMS is to blame for Debra's foul mood, so he tries to come up with a cure for her "ladies' days" symptoms. Andy: Andy Kindler. Gianni: Jon Manfrellotti. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Marie: Doris Roberts. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Robert returns to work after recovering from being gored by a bull, but quickly quits the force after he freezes during a confrontation, prompting Ray to step in and force Robert to face his fears. Judy: Sherri Shepherd. Amy: Monica Horan. Store Owner: Richard Assad. Teenager: Alex Solowitz. Robert: Brad Garrett. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
On Thanksgiving, Doug and Carrie recall the first time they said they loved each other and the first time Doug met Arthur and his wife, Lily (Florence Henderson). Kelly: Merrin Dungey. Young Carrie: Madison Lanc. Kirby: Marshaun Daniel. Spence: Patton Oswalt. Deacon: Victor Williams. Arthur: Jerry Stiller. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
Doug and Carrie watch Deacon and Kelly's kids while they attend an out-of-town funeral---and things couldn't go worse. Kirby: Marshaun Daniel. Kelly: Merrin Dungey. Deacon: Victor Williams. Carrie: Leah Remini. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).