2024-09-21
Gomer goofs by telling Thelma Lou that Barney said he has her wrapped around his little finger, so she starts dating Gomer to make Barney jealous. But things get out of hand when she kisses Gomer, which to him means they have to get married. Barney: Don Knotts. Gomer: Jim Nabors. Thelma Lou: Betty Lynn. (Repeat).
Andy, Barney and Gomer take Opie and his friends on a camping trip. But after bragging about his wilderness experience, Barney gets lost in the woods with Gomer. Tray: David A. Bailey. Fletcher: Willis Bouchey. Johnny: Richard Keith. Gomer: Jim Nabors. (Repeat).
Ray is horrified when he learns that Marie read his personal journal that he kept when he was a kid. But Marie is even more upset---over one of Ray's journal entries about her. Marie: Doris Roberts. Robert: Brad Garrett. Frank: Peter Boyle. (Repeat).
Ray and Debra go out to dinner on Valentine's Day, only to discover that they don't have anything to say to each other. Of course, their lack of conversation later sparks a lot of discussion from Debra. Waiter: Eric Ramirez. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Ray becomes obsessed with getting the twins more masculine roles in a school play when he learns they are playing fairies. Sarah: Diana-Maria Riva. Father: Michael Duddie. Josh: Isaiah Griffin. Michael: Sullivan Sweeten. Geoffrey: Sawyer Sweeten. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Marie arranges for Robert's Italian girlfriend, Stefania (Alex Meneses), to visit him in hopes that the two of them will get married. Marco: David Proval. Nemo: Robert Ruth. Suzy: Susan Varon. Robert: Brad Garrett. Marie: Doris Roberts. (Repeat).
Ray buys a vacuum cleaner from a sexy sales girl (Tricia O'Kelley) and then must convince Debra that he cleaned up on the deal. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Marie: Doris Roberts. Frank: Peter Boyle. (Repeat).
Tension rises when Marie asks Debra to return a borrowed canister that Debra claims she returned, but Marie doesn't believe her. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Marie: Doris Roberts. Frank: Peter Boyle. (Repeat).
Ray tries to persuade Debra to let him invest some of their savings in a new go-cart track that two of his friends are planning. Scott: Bob Odenkirk. Walter: Brian Posehn. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Ray: Ray Romano. (Repeat).
Part 1 of two. Carrie learns she's pregnant, but she fears that she and Doug aren't prepared to be parents and can't afford a baby. Also: Deacon attempts to reconcile with Kelly, but Spence gets jealous. Kelly: Merrin Dungey. O'Boyle: Sam McMurray. Berenson: Gregory White. Alex: Nick Jameson. Spence: Patton Oswalt. Carrie: Leah Remini. (Repeat).
Conclusion. Doug takes on a second job as a limo driver to make some extra money to prepare for the arrival of the baby. Also, Arthur attempts to cut household expenses by helping to build a basement bathroom. Kelly: Merrin Dungey. Marilyn: Nicole Sullivan. Dr. Lindhardt: David Manis. Spence: Patton Oswalt. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
Doug hires a dog walker (Nicole Sullivan) to take Arthur for a stroll three times a week so he and Carrie can have some time alone in hopes of getting pregnant. An unsuspecting Arthur thinks his new companion is a student who wants to learn about his WWII experiences. Leonard: Bobby Divito. Spence: Patton Oswalt. Arthur: Jerry Stiller. Doug: Kevin James. (Repeat).
Doug thinks he has come up with the perfect birthday gift for Carrie: laser eye surgery. That is until Carrie ends up nearly blind from the operation. Danny: Gary Valentine. Pruzan: Alex Skuby. Spence: Patton Oswalt. Amy: Christine Gonzales. Carrie: Leah Remini. (Repeat).
Doug tries to break his company's record for consecutive delivery days without incident, but his peers don't want him to set a new mark because the current record holder was a much-beloved employee. O'Boyle: Sam McMurray. Holly: Nicole Sullivan. Tim: Maurice Smith. Paco: Jason Azikiwe. Lenny: Ken Kerman. Duke: Steve Tancora. (Repeat).
Doug and Carrie's friendship with Deacon and Kelly is strained after Doug hits their car and it turns out to need expensive repairs. Kelly: Merrin Dungey. Kirby: Marshaun Daniel. Spence: Patton Oswalt. (Repeat).
Jerry and George take a limo meant for another, whose agenda includes more than just getting in from the airport. Eva: Suzanne Snyder. Tim: Peter Krause. Chauffeur: Jeremy Roberts. (Repeat).
Jerry witnesses an accident---and is attracted to the victim (Helen Slater) and the perpetrator. Kramer: Michael Richards. Elaine: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. George: Jason Alexander. (Repeat).
Kramer sits for Jerry's artist girlfriend (Catherine Keener), but Jerry won't stand for her temperament, until she declares her feelings. Richard Fancy, Richard Venture. (Repeat).
George argues with a stranger (Lee Arenberg) over a "dream" parking space in front of Jerry's apartment. Newman: Wayne Knight. Kramer: Michael Richards. Elaine: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. (Repeat).
Christine goes to a college buddy's wedding with Richard and Barb. Unfortunately, the bride is jealous of Christine because the groom won't stop talking about her. Making things worse for Christine is the fact that she agreed to be the designated driver and can't drink. (Repeat).
Christine, Richard, Matthew and Barb end up in a seedy desert hotel when they follow Ritchie on a school camping trip. (Repeat).
Christine worries she's pregnant after sleeping with Richard on a trip and that it will jeopardize her chances of dating Mr. Harris (Blair Underwood). (Repeat).
As the third season begins, Christine gets overly nervous about sleeping with Mr. Harris (Blair Underwood) for the first time and Matthew announces he is quitting medical school after he is assigned a cadaver and it turns out to be a neighbor. (Repeat).
Dan returns home to rumors about his behavior; while Roseanne helps Jackie move. Fisher: Matt Roth. Crystal: Natalie West. Chuck: James Pickens Jr. Anne Marie: Adilah Barnes. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf. (Repeat).
Loretta Lynn moseys by while vegetarian Darlene serves meat at the Lunch Box booth. Paul: Joe Minjares. David: Johnny Galecki. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. Roseanne: Roseanne Arnold. (Repeat).
The death of their father finds Jackie blubbering, but Roseanne angry---and sharing a drink with the "other woman" in his life. Bev: Estelle Parsons. Frank: Lenny Wolpe. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf. Dan: John Goodman. (Repeat).
Roseanne's wealthy cousin Ronnie comes to bury the hatchet with Roseanne after a 25-year feud. Jordan: Ahmad Stoner. Policeman: Kevin Dunigan. David: Johnny Galecki. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. (Repeat).
The Conners and the Tildens travel to California, with Dan pondering his future and Ty contemplating Jackie. Molly: Danielle Harris. Charlotte: Mara Hobel. Tom Arnold: Himself. Vic: Blake Clark. (Repeat).
Roseanne puts her foot down when Darlene wants David to move in, but she later extends a hand after meeting his mother. David: Johnny Galecki. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. D.J.: Michael Fishman. Dan: John Goodman. (Repeat).
For their anniversary, Roseanne poses in a photo for Dan, while he moonlights to pay for a gift for her. Bob: Bill Maher. Jay: Peter Jason. Dan: John Goodman. Roseanne: Roseanne Arnold. (Repeat).
Darlene wants nothing to do with David after Molly kisses him; and a new friend puts a smile on Bev's face. Molly: Danielle Harris. Bev: Estelle Parsons. David: Johnny Galecki. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. (Repeat).
Darlene springs a surprise on David; and Dan is reluctant to share with Roseanne his plans for a new business. Roger: Tim Curry. Charlotte: Mara Hobel. Chuck: James Pickens Jr. (Repeat).
Dan's bills mount when he and Roger can't sell the house they refurbished---and Roger skips town. Nancy: Sandra Bernhard. Chuck: James Pickens Jr. Dan: John Goodman. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf. (Repeat).
Dan knocks out one of Roseanne's teeth on the day she is to meet with a health inspector; Darlene is accepted to art school. Leon: Martin Mull. Jeffrey: Phil Leeds. Robbie: J.D. Daniels. David: Johnny Galecki. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. (Repeat).
Roseanne worries that Darlene has decided to waste her life staying in Lanford. George: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. D.J.: Michael Fishman. Roseanne: Roseanne Arnold. (Repeat).
The empty-nest syndrome strikes Roseanne as Darlene (Sara Gilbert) settles into her college dorm. Jenna: Terri Ivens. David: Johnny Galecki. Roseanne: Roseanne Arnold. (Repeat).
Mike's promise to be home in time for Christmas Eve dinner hits a bump in the road when he and Carl wind up going for a joyride in the back of a stolen truck. Meanwhile, Molly gets peeved at Vince when he messes with the family's holiday traditions. (Repeat).
Molly runs into a roadblock in the form of her publisher, who wants her to make a provocative rewrite in a section of her book. (Repeat).
When Joyce refuses to take a Breathalyzer test at a DUI checkpoint, Mike is forced to arrest her. (Repeat).
The prospect of an empty house for the weekend has Mike and Molly in a state of excitement. (Repeat).
The not-so-retiring Peggy suddenly announces she's leaving her job and Molly scrambles to throw her a retirement party, but wonders just why Peggy is calling it quits. (Repeat).
It's an exciting new chapter in Molly's life as the newly minted author's book comes out, but she becomes obsessively worried that no one will purchase it and begins to haunt the website, constantly refreshing it to see how many copies are being sold. (Repeat).
Peggy's juicy past proves to be fertile ground for Molly's second book, but the author discovers it's quite a chore to get her mother-in-law to fess up. (Repeat).
As a reward for reaching his weight-loss goal, Mike makes what may prove to be a bad decision. (Repeat).
Mike's a bit put out when Molly doesn't allow him to attend a party thrown by her publisher. (Repeat).