TV Land (East) (TVLAND)

Doug is furious with Carrie when she accepts a job offer from a guy he claims slandered him in junior high school by spreading a rumor that Doug licked a trash can; Arthur asserts that Larry King got him kicked out of school when they were younger and now Arthur wants revenge. Sean: Jon Favreau. Melvin: Dwayne Macopson. Major: Damani Roberts. (Repeat).

Elaine's assistant (Lisa Malkiewicz) has words with Jerry, who has few with George; Kramer deals for more Cuban cigars. Warren Frost, Grace Zabriskie, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. (Repeat).

The man who's threatening Jerry is the same Joe (Peter Crombie) who's dating Elaine. First Clown: Gerrit Graham. Reichman: Ross Evans. Usher: Bill Saluga. (Repeat).

Jerry courts a woman (Jane Leeves) with a tame past; George makes a bad move at a meeting; a man (Ping Wu) disagrees with Elaine. Susan: Heidi Swedberg. Elaine: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. George: Jason Alexander. (Repeat).

On a flight to NYC, Jerry has a first-class time, but Elaine suffers in coach. Meanwhile, Kramer and George try to hit the right airport. Tia: Jennifer Campbell. (Repeat).

Ritchie goes to church with Richard and new Christine without consulting his mother first, leaving Christine to explain and explore her aversion to organized religion. (Repeat).

Christine tries to help Barb after she announces her separation from Pete, but her friend's calm acceptance of the situation makes Christine jealous. (Repeat).

Christine runs into Stan again and is unable to resist him, despite her best efforts. She asks Matthew to help keep Stan away from her, but her brother is having attraction issues of his own---his latest girlfriend refuses to leave. (Repeat).

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To keep a nurse (Marcia Strassman) at the 4077th, Trapper is conned into the ring to box another unit's resident thug (Mike McGirr). Gen. Barker: Sorrell Booke. Ugly John: John Orchard. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Trapper: Wayne Rogers. Henry: McLean Stevenson. This episode marked the first appearance by William Christopher as Father Francis Mulcahy. (Repeat).

Hawkeye dismisses a filmmaker's version of life at the 4077th as propaganda and decides to produce his own film. Bricker: Ed Flanders. Gen. Clayton: Herb Voland. Cutler: Marcia Strassman. Sgt. Martin: Bert Kramer. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Trapper: Wayne Rogers. Henry: McLean Stevenson. (Repeat).

The 4077th sings the praises of an imaginary captain, invented by Hawkeye and Trapper to cover their donations to an orphanage. Gen. Clayton: Herb Voland. Sister Theresa: Mary-Robin Redd. Finance Officer: James B. Sikking. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Trapper: Wayne Rogers. The teleplay, by Bruce Shelly and David Ketchum, was nominated for a Writers Guild Award. (Repeat).

The annual Army-Navy game has everyone's undivided attention---but then an unexploded shell lands in the compound. This episode's story was conceived by McLean Stevenson. Col. Hersh: Alan Manson. Mason: Bobbie Mitchell. Ugly John: John Orchard. Radar: Gary Burghoff. Frank: Larry Linville. Hot Lips: Loretta Swit. (Repeat).

Acting CO Frank commits the ultimate sin when he dismantles the Swamp's still and declares Prohibition at the 4077th. Director Hy Averback earned Emmy and Directors Guild Award nominations. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Frank: Larry Linville. Margaret: Loretta Swit. (Repeat).

Tired of the mess tent's inedibles, Hawkeye concocts an elaborate scheme to procure spareribs from a favorite Chicago eatery. Maj. Pfiefer: Basil Hoffman. Sgt. Tarola: Joseph Stern. Igor: Jeff Maxwell. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Trapper: Wayne Rogers. Henry: McLean Stevenson. (Repeat).

Feuding between chief nurse Margaret and her staff threatens a nurse's overnight---and overdue---honeymoon. Baker: Linda Kelsey. Tony: Gregory Harrison. Mary Jo: Mary Jo Catlett. Gaynor: Carol Locatell. Preston: Patricia Sturges. Margaret: Loretta Swit. Director Joan Darling earned an Emmy nomination. (Repeat).

Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus) hopes to cure his depression at the 4077th, where acting crazy keeps everyone sane. Capt. Hathaway: Charles Frank. Pvt. Habib: Bart Braverman. Patient: Sal Viscuso. Alan Alda's direction won Emmy and Directors Guild Awards. Also, Alda's teleplay was nominated for an Emmy, as was William Jurgensen's cinematography. (Repeat).

Hawkeye contacts a Navy buddy (Oliver Clark) about a crossword puzzle; Klinger tries to eat a jeep to prove his insanity. Prescott: Dick O'Neill. Shapiro: Ron Kolman. Nurse: Gwen Farrell. Korean Mother: Momo Yashima. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Potter: Harry Morgan. Klinger: Jamie Farr. Directed by Burt Metcalfe. (Repeat).

Hawkeye and B.J. get lost rushing antibiotics back to camp, but they pick up a North Korean prisoner (Soon-Teck Oh) on the way. Meanwhile, most of the 4077th has come down with food poisoning from Klinger's Thanksgiving turkey. Rizzo: G.W. Bailey. Igor: Jeff Maxwell. Kelly: Kellye Nakahara. B.J.: Mike Farrell. Hawkeye: Alan Alda. Klinger: Jamie Farr. Written by Farrell. (Repeat).

Two sweet, elderly ladies (Charity Grace, Gladys Hurlbut) who turn in moonshiners are themselves brewing moonshine in their greenhouse. Rube: Thom Carney. Ben: Jack Prince. Otis: Hal Smith. Barney: Don Knotts. Opie: Ronny Howard. (Repeat).

Andy is pressured by heartless Ben Weaver to serve a foreclosure notice to a struggling family living in one of Weaver's houses. Weaver: Will Wright. Scobey: Sam Edwards. Mrs. Scobey: Margaret Kerry. Bertha: Hope Summers. Barney: Don Knotts. Aunt Bee: Frances Bavier. (Repeat).

Aunt Bee believes Opie's frequent visits to the sheriff's office are negatively affecting him, so she forbids him to visit Andy at work. Bee: Frances Bavier. Barney: Don Knotts. Otis: Hal Smith. (Repeat).

Opie befriends a shiftless hobo (Buddy Ebsen) whose questionable ways negatively influence the lad. Opie: Ronny Howard. Barney: Don Knotts. Andy: Andy Griffith. (Repeat).

Andy and Barney are in a pickle when they claim to like Aunt Bee's horrible homemade dills, which only encourages her to make more. Aunt Bee: Frances Bavier. Barney: Don Knotts. Opie: Ronny Howard. Clara: Hope Summers. (Repeat).

A misunderstanding between Andy and Aunt Bee leads them each to believe the other is anxious to get married. Fred: Fred Sherman. Aunt Bee: Frances Bavier. Clara: Hope Summers. Opie: Ronny Howard. (Repeat).

Opie tries to convince Andy that his new friend, Mr. McBeevee---who walks in treetops, has 12 extra hands and blows smoke from his ears---is real. But Andy is determined to make Opie admit that he's imaginary. Mr. McBeevee: Karl Swenson. Dr. Goodwin: Earl Holmes. Opie: Ronny Howard. Barney: Don Knotts. Andy: Andy Griffith. (Repeat).

Cattle thefts leave Andy stumped, so Mayor Stoner (Parley Baer) summons a state investigator to take over the case. Luke Jensen: Malcolm Atterbury. Upchurch: Ralph Bell. Tate: Jon Lormer. Opie: Ronny Howard. Barney: Don Knotts. (Repeat).

Barney accidentally locks himself in the bank's vault when he tries to prove how easy it would be to rob it. Harriet: Frances Osborne. Asa: Charles Thompson. Meldrim: Warren Parker. Mort: Al Checco. Ollie: Lee Krieger. Leon: Clint Howard. Barney: Don Knotts. (Repeat).

Barney unknowingly issues a parking ticket to the governor, then fears he's going to be fired. And Otis spikes the courthouse's water cooler, much to the surprise of the mayor and Barney. Mayor Stone: Parley Baer. Judd: Burt Mustin. Otis: Hal Smith. Chauffeur: Rance Howard. Milt: Bob McQuain. Governor: Carl Benton Reid. Barney: Don Knotts. (Repeat).

The future Mrs. Taylor, schoolteacher Helen Crump (Aneta Corsaut), made her first appearance in this episode, in which Opie tells her that his pa says history doesn't matter. That, of course, doesn't sit well with "old Miss Crump." Opie: Ronny Howard. Barney: Don Knotts. Howie: Dennis Rush. Whitey: Joey Scott. (Repeat).

Hillbilly family the Darlings made their first appearance in this episode, in which the betrothed Charlene develops a crush on Andy. Briscoe: Denver Pyle. Charlene: Margaret Ann Peterson. Darling Brothers: Dillard Brothers. Dud: Hoke Howell. Opie: Ronny Howard. (Repeat).

Feathers are ruffled when Debra (Patricia Heaton) suggests Thanksgiving dinner be held at their house, with striped bass as the main course. Lois: Katherine Helmond. Warren: Robert Culp. Mel: Phil Leeds. (Repeat).

When the cable goes out, the Barones gather to play a game that tests their moral character. Cable Guy: Jon Manfrellotti. Raymond: Ray Romano. Debra: Patricia Heaton. Robert: Brad Garrett. (Repeat).