FXX HD (Pacific)

The guys regale each other with stories of youthful athletic accomplishments; Cleveland was a teenage baseball player from Cuba; Quagmire was a bad boy tennis superstar from New York; Peter was an underdog boxer from Philadelphia.

With her vision waning, Lois elects to get LASIK surgery but exploits her new disability for monetary gain; Peter, Chris and Stewie must partake in all the activities with Doug that his father neglects.

Nancy and Dale rekindle the romance in their marriage, leaving Nancy's former lover John Redcorn out in the cold.

Hank becomes a zoning board member in his bid to strike down a local ordinance prohibiting the use of high-flo toilets during a drought.

Peggy is shocked to learn about a video of her extra-large feet that is being shown around the Internet.

While attending a Nashville music festival, Peggy claims that Randy Travis stole lyrics from a song she wrote years ago.

Hank and Peggy disagree on presidential candidates; voices of Mike Judge, Kathy Najimy, Pamela Segall Adlon and Brittany Murphy.

When Buck Strickland takes Bobby on a gambling spree in Hot Springs, Ark., Hank must track them down and bail them out.

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When two bunnies target Sid's booming egg-sitting business and hide his charges, Manny and Diego come to the rescue in a mission that becomes the first Easter egg hunt.

Tom Landry Middle School holds an emergency community meeting when a child goes missing; relationship expert Stephens Davies makes an example of Peggy by questioning her parenting skills.

Kahn's father-in-law, Gen. Gum, visits the Souphanousinphone family and makes him feel like a failure; Hank and the gang take Kahn under their wing.

Peggy hires a "Hollywood" family to replace the strange occupants of a house she needs to sell within two weeks.

Dale's son becomes the star quarterback for Landry High School, but Dale pushes the boy to accept a private school's offer, which includes a cash contract.

Peggy plans her own birthday party; Hank and the gang attend a disco party on a mystery train.

A man vows revenge when Hank accidentally takes his wallet; Bobby is falsely accused of a crime at school and must follow Officer Brown around town as punishment.

Hank ditches his old team of Bill, Dale and Boomhauer for the Regatta boat-building competition so he and Bobby can spend some quality time together; bats invade the construction garage.

Peggy's brother Hoyt, a two-strike felon, comes to town and commits another crime; Luanne's husband feels sorry for Hoyt and takes the blame.

Unwilling to change his sugary eating habits, Bill is diagnosed with diabetes; after deciding to use a wheelchair that he doesn't really need, Bill is befriended by a rugby player who teaches him to be independent.

When a local paper plans to run a story about Strickland Propane dumping old propane tanks into the river, Hank suggests that the company go green; Dale, in an attempt to impress the ladies, organizes an Earth benefit concert.

The Hill family and the rest of the neighborhood visit the City Council to protest when Ted Wassonasong tries to build a "McMansion.".

Lisa shows Homer the error of his ways when he pirates cable television.

Homer decides he doesn't need church and forms his own religion.

Unfazed by a post-prank reprimand from the Rev. Lovejoy, Bart sells his soul for $5.

Lisa conducts an archaeological survey in an attempt to halt the construction of a new mall; people think Lisa's construction-site find are the bones of an angel.

While listening to one of Reverend Lovejoy's sermons on a sweltering Easter Sunday morning, the Simpsons fall asleep and envision themselves as characters from the Bible.

Bart is convinced he's a faith healer after he helps a revivalist extract Homer's head from a bucket.

Jealous of Flanders, Homer prays to God for good things to happen.

Homer begins to study the Rapture and believes he knows when the end times will come, so he begins warning others in an attempt to secure his place in heaven.

Linda almost accidentally kidnaps a children's book author; the kids help Mr. Frond try to get his cat out of a tree in front of the school.

Louise takes a class assignment -- and a few unhelpful comments by Wayne -- very personally; Bob hires a masseur-in-training to give Linda a massage for Mother's Day.

Bob tries to drum up some business; Louise starts a rumor that results in a visit from the health department.

Linda's mother visits; Bob gets stuck in a wall while trying to repair a leak in the roof.

Bob is furious when a documentary filmmaker tries to makes a statement by placing a live cow outside the restaurant.

Tina joins a martial arts class after developing a crush on the instructor; Bob decides to take matters into his own hands when Tina shirks her responsibilities at the restaurant.

An interruption alters the direction of the musical-murder-mystery dinner that Linda and the kids are staging at the restaurant.

Tina desperately wants to get her first kiss at her 13th birthday party, but a series of unlucky events threatens her plans.

After an accident, Bart becomes the caretaker of a lizard species that could endanger life in Springfield.

A dead convict controls Homer; Homer and Marge are on "Jerry Springer"; the kids meet Itchy and Scratchy.