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Doug's elation at winning two tickets to the NCAA Final Four turns to guilt when Carrie prompts him to take Arthur instead of Deacon.

When Carrie discovers that her and Doug's ski weekend getaway was motivated by a promotion for a free plasma TV that Doug wants, her romantic mood sours.

Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.

Charlie doesn't know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room; Judith surprises Alan when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.

One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.

Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.

A young upstart Vanessa is brought in to co-manage following a merger, so George pulls out all the stops.

George accuses his mother of being a Scrooge, but she might just prove him wrong when mother and son compromise to help Max realize his dream of meeting his idol, BMX bike racing champion Dave Mirra.

Carmen considers using birth control, and George and Angie try to convince her not to sleep with her boyfriend.

Ernie considers marrying a troubled woman, and George risks their friendship to keep him from making a huge mistake.

When Dan goes head to head with a barroom bully, Roseanne's birthday bash for him at the Lobo Lounge is more of a disaster than a party; Roseanne, angry over Dan breaking a promise never to fight again, storms out of the bar.

Roseanne is tired of seeing Dan and his friends hanging out in the backyard every Saturday under the guise of fixing Dan's truck; she makes a bet with Dan that they can't stop wasting time long enough to fix the truck.

Fran dresses in drag to crash a men's club in order to stop Mr. Sheffield from using her boyfriend's stock tip.

Fran and C.C. (Fran Drescher, Lauren Lane) become trapped in the wine cellar during Fran's mother's (Renee Taylor) 50th birthday bash.

Child star Jack Walker decides to give up show business when Fran tells him he should be doing the things normal children do.

Sylvia (Renee Taylor) is offended when Fran (Fran Drescher) refuses to wear a mink coat she inherited from her Aunt Mimma. With Charles Shaughnessy.

Bob makes things worse after interfering in Goodwin and Kofo's ongoing spat; Abishola puts her pride on the line when she realizes she's been an inattentive friend to Kemi.

As Abishola begins studying for medical school, she offends Gloria with an insensitive comment about Gloria's own journey of almost becoming a doctor; Tunde schools a reluctant Bob on the art of home repair while helping to fix his dishwasher.

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Mark and Jonathan work as hotel bellhops to help a millionaire's son find meaning in his life; an unmotivated man must make decisions regarding his personal life.

Malcolm's plan to renovate McGee's hits a snag when the contractor he hires knows Eddie from the Navy.

Tim agrees to help Malcolm find a doctor to remove his tattoo, as long as Malcolm takes Tim's sister out on a date.

Steve and Romeo (Steve Harvey, Merlin Santana) become rivals for the affections of a 25-year-old swimsuit model.

Rap artist Lil' Bow Wow (guest starring as himself) wants to sample an old hit of Steve's (Steve Harvey) group, the Hi-Tops. Jermaine Dupri and Ron Isley also guest star.

An old flame returns to pick up where she left off with Mark -- until Vanessa and Robin learn her real intentions.

Mark refuses to help a star athlete pass an algebra test until he learns the truth about his own academic success.

A cosmetics saleswoman from Queens (Fran Drescher) is hired to care for the children of a widowed, upscale Broadway producer (Charles Shaughnessy).

When Brighton (Benjamin Salisbury) is caught smoking at school, Fran (Fran Drescher) thinks it might be her fault. Carol Channing appears as herself.

Roseanne tries to quit smoking; helping Darlene gets Becky in trouble.

A family Thanksgiving is spoiled when Roseanne learns that her father is having an affair.

Roseanne and Jackie travel to Kansas City to see their father's girlfriend; Dan plans to beat up Becky's boss.

As a mall Santa, Roseanne learns Darlene blabbed family secrets.

George believes he has found his father, and he invites the man (Cheech Marin) to Thanksgiving Day dinner.

When Angie joins more charity organizations than she can handle, George and the family help her get things under control.

Angie's parents visit for Christmas and continue to make George feel like he is not good enough for their daughter.

Benny's bathroom is falling apart, and Angie tries to convince George that if he fixes it up for her, she'll be grateful to him for once in his life.

Marcy leads a campus-wide protest at Bud's college after her ex-husband, Steve, expels a student for speaking his mind.

Unless Peg's parents patch things up, the only woman in Bud's new love palace will be his grandmother.

Al gets more women than he can handle when an aerobics studio opens next door.

Buck passes away, leaving a heartbroken Kelly to find a new pet.

Al forms a church with his beer-drinking buddies as a means to avoid paying taxes.

Much to Al's horror, his new baldness remedy also turns out to be a love potion.

Doug tries to impress new driver Jared when he learns he was the only one at IPS not invited to Jared's barbecue.

Carrie learns that in the beginning of their relationship Doug lied to her about getting a job at IPS so she would sleep with him.

Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.

After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.

For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.

Charlie realizes Jake's classmates know the words to all of his jingles, and he is inspired to craft the fourth-grade musical with unusual results.

George is unhappy with Max's less-than-compassionate dentist so he asks his bosses to change the company dental plan.

George tries to get Max help in school by telling his long-lost sister, Linda, who is the superintendent of schools, that she was given up for adoption at birth.

When a major earthquake shakes Los Angeles, George's repressed childhood fears resurface. Despite a positive assessment of the house from a contractor, George refuses to go back in, and he and Carmen set up a tent in the backyard.

When Benny demands cash for a box of George's childhood mementos, George learns some painful truths about his boyhood.

Dan and Roseanne decide the annual PTA rummage sale is a great time to donate some of the junk they've collected over the years; the trouble is they can't decide which items are junk and which are cherished possessions.

Roseanne and Dan's wedding is ushered in without a honeymoon; it's their 15th anniversary, and they try to make up for it, but they cannot agree on a location.

Maxwell (Charles Shaughnessy) is hung out to dry on "Sally Jessy Raphael" after he forces Fran (Fran Drescher) to cross a picket line. Guest starring Sally Jessy Raphael.

Maxwell (Charles Shaughnessy) has a secret someone hiding upstairs, and Fran (Fran Drescher) is just dying to find out who.

Fran (Fran Drescher) panics while trying to find a date for her camp reunion, but the kids have a surprise for her. Guest star: Erik Estrada.

Brighton (Benjamin Salisbury) finds his niche on Fran's mother's (Renee Taylor) canasta team. Stars: Fran Drescher.

Abishola must reconcile a decade-old wound when she's forced to attend the funeral of an unlikable aunt; Bob struggles at the factory with the first batch of socks before receiving support from an unlikely source.

Abishola is nervous about Dele's trip to Nigeria with his father; Bob creates a guidebook on Nigeria for Dele that he proudly calls "Sights and Bites.".

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Investigating a friend's death, Mark encounters drug smugglers; guests Michael Bowen, Lee Bryant.

With Malcolm in love and Eddie considering a job offer in another city, the guys decide to dissolve their partnership.

After one of the guys is jilted, they recall their first meeting, after Eddie had been left at the altar by his bride-to-be.

Romeo's mother shows up and announces that she is leaving her husband to start a new life in Chicago.

When Steve's students take him court for a classroom injustice, he goes before TV's Judge Greg Mathis.

Mark's (Mark Curry) first coaching assignment is to spark life in a very uninspired cheerleading squad.

The Golden State Warriors basketball team offers Mark a tryout at the same time he is offered a full-time coaching job.

Fran gets an etiquette lesson from Niles and Maxwell so she can hold a mother-daughter tea for Maggie.

Tension arises after Fran (Fran Drescher) chaperones Maggie (Nicholle Tom) on a date and the young man (Jimmy Marsden) becomes interested in Fran.

Crystal is allowed to choose the activity for ladies' night and wants to play bingo; Dan and the kids babysit Crystal's son.

Arnie and Dan compete to keep their bowling team out of last place; Jackie hits it off with Nancy.

Things go from bad to worse when Roseanne injures her back, leaving Dan in charge of the household; Roseanne's mother arrives.

Rosanne is suffering from persistent back pain and her doctor suggests a breast-reduction surgery; Roseanne informs Dan about it, who is shocked, but he takes his wife to the hospital; after the surgery, her breasts appears twice as large.

Benny tries to reconcile with her dying brother in hopes of getting his Super Bowl tickets; George has trouble dealing with death.

George gives Angie a disappointing Valentine's Day gift, triggering a flashback to high school in the 1980s when he painted a mural for her.

Carmen's boyfriend spreads nasty rumors about her after she breaks up with him; George has a score to settle with a school counselor (guest star Steven R. Schirripa).

George learns he has a half brother (Lou Diamond Phillips) when he tries to take out a loan for Carmen's private school.

After Peg rescues him from a mugger, Al stages a robbery in hopes of saving his pride.

In order to join a men's club, Bud attempts to get a wrestler's (King Kong Bundy) autograph and ends up in the ring.

Kelly attends her high-school reunion only to find the former class nerd transformed into a rich hunk.

Al seeks vengeance when the high-school scoreboard is named after Terry Bradshaw.

On a bear hunt in Wanker County, Al and Bud triumphantly bag a hibernating bear.

Forced from their mountain retreat, Al and the NO MA'AM guys find lodging in a bomb shelter.

Carrie discovers that Doug's frequent trips to the hair salon are due to his attractive new hairstylist.

Doug and Carrie's romantic getaway is a nightmare when the owners of the bed-and-breakfast become too much to take.

Jake and Evelyn befriend one of Charlie's one-night stands, causing her to stay longer than expected.

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa (Denise Richards) over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau; when the brothers go shopping, they clash over what to buy.

The housekeeper's beautiful granddaughter comes to work with her and attracts the attention of the men; Alan tries to convince Judith that Charlie's house is good for Jake.

Wedding singers (Robert Rodriguez and Chingon, and William Hung) audition when George comes up with a plan for Angie's dream wedding.

George invites Carmen's boyfriend to move in with the family when he realizes the boy's father is a little too tough on him.

George must explain his treatment of Carmen when she enters a poetry slam.

When Angie meets a former boyfriend who's now a news anchor for lunch, George becomes concerned she might be having an affair.