KDIT-CD

Felix is incensed when Oscar gives a riotous account of Felix's prissiness on a talk show.

Bob and his friends host an orphan contingent for a wildly improbable camping-out experience.

Max and 99 must find the KAOS agent who has infiltrated the harem of an important prince.

Ralph and Alice plan surprise anniversary parties for each other; Ralph's lunch box gets switched at work.

Harvey and Tim as tipsy friends coming home from a night of carousing; a spoof of "The Arabian Nights.".

The partners seek guests for a bar mitzvah.

Mrs. Mestor wants to consolidate her school with another.

Ozzie takes a shot at making homemade ice cream.

Don hires a beautiful Japanese maid.

D.J. learns a valuable lesson when she decides to go on a crash diet.

Jesse has second thoughts about his engagement when his old girlfriend re-enters his life.

Danny's new girlfriend (Debra Sandlund) has a mischievous 11-year-old son (Jordan Christopher Michael).

A love letter intended for D.J. falls into the wrong hands and gets passed around the house.

A rock-music agent wants to sign Greg to become a rock star named Johnny Bravo. Greg lets his new fame get to his head.

Cissy brings home a soldier's pregnant wife.

Danny confronts the problem of how to be the right amount father and right amount pal to Rusty.

On a date with Jeff, Terry cuts loose at a pizza parlor.

Katie (Tina Cole), alone in the Douglas home, is frightened by what she thinks is the sound of a loud heartbeat.

Chip manages to outwit the machine age when a computer is used to select partners for a school picnic.

Harry tends to Lucy when she is released from the hospital.

Lucy tries to persuade the writer of her favorite soap opera to change his script.

Lucy reads in the paper that Ricky is interested in a chorus girl. After Lucy finds a dancer's black lace in Ricky's pocket -- which he put there during a rehearsal -- Lucy decides to work her way into Ricky's show to see what he's doing.

The girls begin knitting socks for Ricky and Fred, who they believe have been drafted and are heading to war. The men think that the knitting means the girls are pregnant. They wind up arranging surprise parties for each other on the same night.

Rob finds himself caught in the middle after Buddy announces he is going to divorce Pickles.

Mary tries her hand at creative writing and seeks encouragement from Lou.

Richie is selected to become a contestant on a popular game show with a chance to win $3,200.

To prove a point, Shirley insists that she and Laverne sit at separate tables at a restaurant.

Doc wants his new love's sister out of the way; a boy plans to reunite his divorced parents; a wife pampers her heart-patient husband.

Stubbing's slick brother (Gavin MacLeod) boards; a woman picks a father for her baby; a widow compares a man with her late spouse.

Granny fumes when she thinks that Mrs. Drysdale is running against her for Possum Day Queen.

Jethro discovers that it is his color television set that has won the heart of the maid next door.

While Vint is at his stag party, the women have a get-together that turns disastrous.

Naomi and Vint wind up on Mama's doorstep after they're swindled out of their housing investment.

Seeking Donna's sympathy, Fred decides to prolong his temporary deafness.

Janet's former husband shows up as she and Lamont prepare for their wedding day.

Convention-bound Archie is missing for almost 24 hours, and the family is grasping for clues to his whereabouts.

When Mike and Gloria have a fight, she dares him to try and hold a kiss until Archie arrives from the airport.

The women take DNA tests to learn about their ancestries; Melanie pretends to be someone else; Victoria learns she is Native American; Joy and Elka make a startling discovery.

Elka believes that Bob has given Joy a voodoo doll; Melanie doses her boyfriend with estrogen by accident; Victoria's agent visits.

A bullfighter becomes the Petries' new handyman.

When school officials hear about Ritchie's version of the birds and the bees, Rob and Laura are forced to meet with the school's psychologist.

Sam tries to get Rebecca her job back after she is fired as manager, and he is hired to replace her.

Sam vows a year of celibacy if he is not the father of an ex-girlfriend's baby.

When Louie learns that his old girlfriend Zena is getting married, he invites himself along on her honeymoon.

Bull takes care of a neighbor's baby, not realizing that the mother has abandoned the child.

In an attempt to get closer to his son, Felix becomes the coach of the boy's football team.

Bob turns amateur detective when he believes his expensive tape recorder has been stolen.

Max must learn how KAOS is able to blow up every building used for the space program.

Ralph places racetrack bets for his neighbors; Ralph hopes a failed medical exam will bring him insurance benefits.

Guests include Nanette Fabray and Michele Lee.

Thieves use TV ideas; guest Jake LaMotta.

Connie believes she can meet more bachelors if she gives up her job.

Ozzie wants Ricky in football; Harriet wants him in the band.

Ann loses the only manuscript of Don's book.

Jesse and Joey go on a camping trip, leaving Danny behind to run the house.

D.J. wants to be a working girl, but the cost is her first failing grade.

Danny is out to prove himself when D.J. asks only Jesse and Joey to play at her fund-raiser.

Stephanie fears she will be shunned at school with her new glasses.

Bobby lies to his friends, telling them that Joe Namath drops by for dinner when he is in town.

Bill refuses to fight Jody's classmate's (Clint Howard) father.

When Rusty's Cub Scout pack is in need of a den mother, Rusty asks Danny to volunteer for the job.

Alex misinterprets Jeff's search for Donna's wedding ring.

Katie's Aunt Cecile is a guest in the Douglas household and in a few days rearranges their furniture -- and their lives.

Robbie and Katie (Don Grady, Tina Cole) decide to leave the Douglas household and move to a borrowed apartment.

Harry turns Lucy's living room into an office while she recovers.

Lucy fills in as an usher at a famous theater in order to see a premiere.

Ethel finds someone to teach Lucy an Apache dance that she wants to perform in Ricky's show. The dance instructor thinks he should also be romantic to American women. When Lucy rejects his advances, he challenges Ricky to a duel.

Ethel wants Ricky to be in her benefit show, but Lucy insists that the only way to get Ricky is to let her be in it too. Ricky chooses a song for Lucy to sing, but selects one that has jokes in it where Ricky gets all the punch lines.

Rob suffers pangs of jealousy when Laura meets a successful old flame (Robert Vaughn).

Mary exercises her authority to hire anyone she wants by hiring a female sportscaster.

Richie persuades Fonzie to star in the title role of "Hamlet" for a fund-raising performance.

After losing their jobs, the girls decide to move to California.

Gopher objects when his widowed mother dates; four friends pretend to be rich; a reporter arrives to interview a Korean comedian.

A nun meets a man she knew before her vows; a doctor wants to keep his profession a secret; an overdone joke may see Gopher wed.

Granny distills a love potion intended to land a husband for her "decrepit" granddaughter, Elly.

Mr. Drysdale and Granny try to marry off Jed to a woman they believe is a millionaire.

The Harper family competes on "Family Feud.".

Mama and Eunice share confidences in jail.

Fred becomes a clergyman of the Divine Profit Church to avoid paying taxes.

Fearful that his days are numbered, Fred prepares a will and summons everyone to an advance reading.

Impious Archie becomes religious after a close brush with death.

George Jefferson uses Archie's signature to get on the ballot when he decides to run for a local political office.

Melanie is jealous when her boyfriend becomes Victoria's love interest in a play; Joy makes Bob watch "Love Actually"; Elka goes on a political talk show.

Everyone helps Joy's son plan the rehearsal dinner for his wedding; a guest from Joy's past shows up.

Rob recalls the time he defended his title as middleweight champion of an Army camp.

Rob and Laura become rivals when each writes a story for children.

A 20-year-old executive (Alex Nevil) develops a crush on Rebecca.

Rebecca has a phony romance with Sam to protect herself from Martin Teal (Alex Nevil).

Louie wants to move into a classy apartment building, but first he must be approved by a panel of snobby tenants.

The court deals with a man who, once declared legally dead, returns home to his wife to find she has remarried.

Oscar's ex-wife is remarrying and invites him to the wedding.

Bob and his friend "The Peeper" take a trip down memory lane and wind up in the slammer.

Max learns of KAOS' plans to kill top space scientists, but crashes his car on the way to CONTROL.

The Nortons move in with the Kramdens while their apartment gets painted; Ralph invites his boss to dinner.

Ken Berry and Nanette Fabray join in tonight's episode; Carol plays a dowdy secretary discouraging some glamorous temp applicants, and the movie spoof Flight 13 To Nowhere.

A matchmaker pairs local people with stars.

Bonnie, Connie's imaginary twin sister, takes part in a scheme against Mr. Conklin.

Ozzie invites an old friend to dinner, unaware of Harriet's plans.

Ann and Don accompany their eloping friends to Connecticut -- and disaster.

Michelle learns about caring for a pet when she wins a goldfish at a carnival.

Jesse risks one last daring escapade on the eve of his wedding.

The wedding ceremony for Jesse and Rebecca is delayed when the groom fails to arrive.

Jesse and Rebecca return from their honeymoon with plans to move into their own place.

Cindy volunteers the family to perform a satire of the fairy tale "Snow White.".

Bill asks a comedian (Joyce Van Patten) for a date.

Danny suggests she try more ladylike behavior when Terry falls for a boy who doesn't seem to know she's alive.

A girl inspires Jeff to serve on a dance committee.

Soon after Katie and Chip get their driving licenses, the car collects a big scratch, but neither will plead guilty.

Chip invites a long-haired, guitar-playing boy from Liverpool to be a key addition to his off-key band.

Joe Namath convinces Lucy that Craig could be a star quarterback.

Lucy gets a surprise when she thinks she has a date with Dean Martin's double.

Lucy takes a job as a babysitter for a pair of mischievous twins. Their mother asks that Lucy be in a talent show with the boys and, if they win, she can keep the prize money. Lucy and the boys sing with a little dancing helped by a pet frog.

Lucy tries to arrange a match between a love-starved old lady (Bea Benaderet) and a giddy grocery man (Edward Everett Horton), but in her efforts to play Cupid, Lucy gives the grocer the idea that she has a crush on him.

Laura despairs when Rob learns of her elaborate plans to throw a surprise party for him.

Ted is stricken with a mild heart attack and undergoes a personality change.

Potsie invites three stranded beauty pageant contestants to spend the night at the Cunninghams' home.

The girls meet their new neighbors and experience their first earthquake.

Julie advises a shy friend; Vicki and a boy hide a stowaway; a man warns the crew to leave his wife alone.

The crew wonders where a bank guard got his money; A social worker questions Vicki's schooling; Honeymooners are pestered.

The Clampetts think a dieting billionaire is a starving farmer, and they try to fatten him up.

The senior Clampetts plan an old-fashioned barn dance, but Elly and Jethro turn it into a rock 'n' roll blast.

Mama goes to work for a travel agency.

Tempers flare after Sonia finds out Buzz has been given a later curfew on the night of the homecoming dance.

Fred organizes a protest against a store that discriminates against older citizens.

Fred hits a lucky gambling streak when he and Lamont need money to buy the Sanford Arms.

A shady salesman hustles Archie into signing for costly aluminum siding to prevent heat loss.

Gloria feels like a "dumb blonde" when Mike ignores her for an intellectual friend.

After taking engagement photos, Joy learns something new about Bob; Melanie dates herself; Victoria wants a new picture on her driver's license; Elka and Mamie pose nude.

Melanie deals with a temperamental chef; Victoria tries to impress a restaurant critic; Joy meets the mother of the baby he hopes to adopt; Elka goes on a date.

Rob goes out to cool off after a quarrel with Laura and winds up in trouble.

Rob recalls the time he was out of work and Laura was expecting Ritchie.

Carla transforms herself into what she thinks is Eddie's ideal woman.

Frasier and Lilith hire Norm as their interior decorator after firing a renowned designer.

Alex becomes obsessed with his dog's well-being when he finds out his beloved pet hasn't long to live.

An attractive witness falls for Harry -- the only problem is that she's a nun.

After their apartment is robbed, Felix talks Oscar into moving into Security Arms.

Bob defends the work ethic when Jerry comes into a pile of money and promptly retires from the dental profession.

KAOS plants a bomb in Max's apartment to kill a visiting scientist.

Ralph's attempt to secure Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey as performers for the Raccoon's Ball hits a snag when he finds the brothers in the middle of a feud.

Guests are Dyan Cannon and Paul Lynde; Lynde plays a smarmy insurance salesman, and later appears in Canoga Falls in Cannon on As The Stomach Turns.

Toody tries to give Lucille a special gift.

Mrs. Nestor's in need of a boyfriend, so Connie sets out to search for one.

Neal and his ex-wife (JM J. Bullock, Alyce Beasley) reconcile, but ALF goes a long way to prove her motives are less than honest. With Anne Schedeen.

ALF enters the art world after he earns praise for a still life made from food. Kenneth David Gilman guest stars. With Max Wright.

D.J. and Stephanie attempt some renovations of their own when the house is remodeled.

Stephanie's winning pitch gains her a starting place on a Little League team.

The Tanner family travels to Hollywood when Joey wins the lead in a television pilot.

D.J. gets into trouble with her father when she sneaks out to meet a boy.

Mike runs for mayor to stop a crooked developer.

Two crooks dupe Peter into copying an art masterpiece.

Celebrating intriguing animals and those who care for them.

What an animal eats helps determine the shape of its mouth, the length of its neck, and other physical features.

A surfing dog helps a young boy find his confidence in the water; a poodle helps a young woman who has a heart defect.

Six incredible, dangerous and dirty animal jobs include wrangling crocodiles, caring for elephants and herding cattle.

Jesse helps with Michelle's preschool graduation ceremony; a college student (Jennifer Nash) falls for Danny.

News of his band's touring contract distracts Jesse from bigger news -- Rebecca's pregnancy.

Jesse and Rebecca feel confident about parenthood until they learn she is expecting twins.

Michelle schemes to match Danny up with her kindergarten teacher (June Lockhart).

Bobby changes his mind about kissing girls when he gets his first kiss from a classmate. When he kisses her for the second time, she informs him that she may have the mumps.

Peter poses as a high-school senior so he can date an older woman.

Greg and his football teammates steal a rival school's mascot.

Marcia's new part-time job at an ice cream parlor causes problems at home and with her boyfriend.

Gilligan and Skipper set sail on a raft in an attempt to find help.

The Skipper orders the castaways to build a community hut due to impending tropical storms.

The Skipper and Gilligan fear that voodoo is responsible when the supply hut is burglarized.

The Skipper has to relive a World War II experience to repair the radio transmitter.

Sgt. Carter is tormented by the fact that no matter how hard he "rides" Gomer, the recruit still likes him.

In revenge for fouling up an exercise, Carter pits Gomer against the "Dragon Lady.".

Gomer and Carter are partners on a five-day survival test in the "wilderness.".

Gomer escorts the colonel's daughter to the enlisted men's dance.

This series follows the Clampett family from the Ozarks to posh Beverly Hills after they strike oil and become millionaires. Banker Mr. Drysdale tries to keep them from foolishly spending their newfound wealth, and he also tries to "civilize" them -- usually succeeding in making a fool of himself in the process.

A young defense attorney's (Markie Post) court debut is marred by the presence of her disruptive father.

A new defense attorney is jailed for protecting a client accused of kidnapping a cat.

Hogan starts to work with members of the Underground but runs into trouble.

Hogan has to free three prisoners from the German secret police.

Cliff wires himself to an electric shock device to improve his personality.

Sam considers skydiving out of a plane in order to impress Rebecca.

Sam is drawn to both a mother (Sandahl Bergman) and daughter.

Woody feels inadequate and defects to the competition on the eve of a drink-mixing contest.

Jerry, retired orthodontist and orphan, takes off on a world tour to search for his long-lost parents.

Bob's invitation to lecture at a prestigious sex seminar results in distress when the audience shows up nude.

Bob runs into problems when he brings his therapy group home for a wild role-playing encounter.

Bob succumbs to the pressures of living in a big city and seeks employment at a small rural college.

The KAOS leader, Siegfried, plans the world's biggest kidnapping scheme.

KAOS blackmails the world by threatening to launch a missile.

When a number of babies at the maternity ward of a local hospital vanish, Hammer and Doreau (David Rasche, Anne-Marie Martin) investigate.

Sledge becomes a contestant on a game show to investigate the reigning champion's death. Guest: Peter Marshall.

An expectant mother competes to win fabulous prizes.

A collection of some of Groucho Marx's best moments on the game show "You Bet Your Life.".

Ozzie is forced to break his tradition of giving Harriet carnation perfume for her birthday.

The Nelsons go on a camping trip.

Bobbie Jo enters a contest sponsored by Gitney's Old English Tomato Sauce and wins first prize, an English butler.

Kate battles rural postmasters to recover an ill-advised letter.

Brenda falls for a young federal agent who is using her apartment to check on the residence across the street.

Ida demonstrates her knack for jumping to conclusions when Martin begins to act very secretively.

Rhoda and Joe decide the only way they can get to spend more time together is to barricade themselves in their apartment.

When Brenda turns down Lenny's marriage proposal, he quits his job and falls into a state of depression.

Ann almost ruins a surprise birthday party Don has arranged for her.

Lou Marie's grilling of Don about his future plans for Ann leads to a spat between the couple.

Ann accompanies Don on an interview with an opera star and gets more involved than she'd anticipated.

Ann tries to convince her family that city life is safe.

While trying to meet Troy Donahue on a movie set, the girls are mistaken for stuntwomen.

Laverne agrees to help Shirley in a knife throwing stunt at a grand opening.

Rum-filled candies make Laverne tipsy when she eats too many, risking her new job.

"The Dating Game" selects Lenny and Squiggy as contestants.

Mama takes a weekend trip with an old beau.

Mama runs out to replace Fran's dress after she accidentally burns a hole in it.

Vint agrees to marry a Portuguese woman so she can get legal U.S. status.

Eunice undergoes a drastic change after listening to Buzz's tape on positive thinking.

Lucy finally finds what she believes to be the perfect solution for getting into show business. After Ethel gives her a book about psychological diseases, Lucy pretends to suffer from numerous ailments so that Ricky will feel sorry for her.

When Ricky refuses to appear in Lucy's play "A Tree Grows in Havana," she rewrites it as "The Perils of Pamela." Ricky learns that a Hollywood producer will see the show, so he appears onstage dressed for the original version of Lucy's play.

Lucy poses as a chauffeur to meet Ernie Kovacs; with Edie Adams.

Lucy's stuntman alter-ego appears in a Bob Crane movie.

Lucy and a would-be inventor create a life-size toy soldier which obeys verbal commands.

Wheelchair-bound Lucy is sued for knocking down a would-be actor.

The milkman's wife (Totie Fields) thinks Lucy broke up her marriage.

The two couples have a fun evening singing until the Mertzes go home and hear the Ricardos still singing in the apartment above. Arguments occur between the friends and, to break out of their lease, the Ricardos invite Ricky's band over to play.

When Lucy learns that there is an opening in one of Ricky's acts for a ballet dancer, as well as a burlesque comedienne, Lucy decides to take a ballet class, which leads to disastrous results.

A job-seeker tries deception; a woman thinks a man was once a woman; a scientist dupes Isaac; Gopher meets a socialite.