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Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right (Denise Richards) and is pleased to learn her marriage did not work out.

Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics; things heat up between Alan and Rose.

Charlie is surprised when a woman, Gail, with whom he flirts in a bar, rejects his overtures and tells him that women around town have been comparing notes on his philandering; Jake mentions that he did an Internet search on Charlie's name and found something interesting; when Charlie logs on, he finds out that he's the subject of a very uncomplimentary new website called www.charlieharpersucks.co

Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.

The inimitable cop must prove that a flamboyant Hollywood gossip reporter was murdered by her former lover.

A Hollywood film composer and conductor murders a talented, young musician out of jealousy.

Called a nerd for getting a good-behavior award from Principal Peavey (guest star Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan), Matt (Haley Joel Osment) pulls a "cool" prank.

Avoiding the opera, Matt and Jeff go to a wrestling meet, where Jeff bumps into "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

As a twister hits, Jeff and Karen (Jeff Foxworthy, Ann Cusack) speculate about who should care for the boys if disaster strikes.

The Foxworthys attempt an upset win at the company picnic against tough competitors, including Lester and Harold.

After an argument, Herman draws a line down the center of the house and orders Grandpa to stay on his side.

Herman is mistaken for a dummy by a couple of fraternity boys, who cart him off to a sorority house.

Bob and Abishola decide her mother has officially overstayed her welcome; when Abishola and Kemi hatch a plan to have a spirit speak to Ebunoluwa from beyond the grave, Abishola gets more information about her mother than she bargained for.

When Bob, Abishola and Kemi learn that Morenike's family disowned her because she's gay, they do what they can to help her pay for school and stay in America.

Watts tells Murdoch of a vagrant's death at a rail camp; now working as a PI, Watts had been hired to infiltrate the community to find the victim, who had come into an inheritance; when another man is killed, Murdoch suspects a sequential killer.

Malcolm and Eddie reconsider their bachelorhood when they learn of an old friend's upcoming marriage.

Unexpected guests cause problems at a surprise party for Marcus (Charlie Robinson).

Dr. Joyce Brothers (guest starring as herself) is called in to counsel a combative Steve and Regina (Steve Harvey, Wendy Raquel Robinson).

Steve (Steve Harvey) reluctantly allows Romeo (Merlin Santana) to move in while finishing out his senior year of high school.

Mark Cooper copes with the stress of his first teaching job and the challenge of living with two female roommates.

Mark (Mark Curry) suffers a broken tailbone when he substitutes for a first-grade teacher. Stars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.

Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.

Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.

Judith leaves Jake with Alan and Charlie while she spends a week in Hawaii, and the guys find that caring for Jake on a daily basis is much different from weekend visits.

While in a precarious position with a woman, Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan, a chiropractor, help him; after Alan drives Charlie to the doctor's office, Charlie is surprised to learn that his physician died four years ago, and a female, Dr. Michelle Talmadge, has replaced him; Berta teaches Jake a lesson.

When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.

Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.

When Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other, Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings.

When Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died, she attends the funeral with Alan, then is furious to learn that Alan had kept in touch with Harry after the divorce.

After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her, her new romantic interest and his daughter.

Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn for a sleepover visit until he finds himself partying with Charlie and a busload of beautiful female volleyball players.

Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.

The Bundys are filled with excitement when Kelly is showered with extravagant gifts they think are from a rich secret admirer.

Bud's attitude and lifestyle change after he becomes involved in a study of human sexuality.

Al goes shoeless to collect a settlement after the shoe stored is robbed.

Al helps Kelly make a documentary on shoes for her acting class.

Spence pretends to be Carrie's husband at a work event when a client finds Doug to be disagreeable; Arthur's upset he isn't the center of attention.

Carrie is overcome with guilt when she gets a digital music player for free because of the cashier's inattention.

Doug's elation at winning two tickets to the NCAA Final Four turns to guilt when Carrie prompts him to take Arthur instead of Deacon.

When Carrie discovers that her and Doug's ski weekend getaway was motivated by a promotion for a free plasma TV that Doug wants, her romantic mood sours.

Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.

Charlie doesn't know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room; Judith surprises Alan when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.

One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.

Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.

A young upstart Vanessa is brought in to co-manage following a merger, so George pulls out all the stops.

George accuses his mother of being a Scrooge, but she might just prove him wrong when mother and son compromise to help Max realize his dream of meeting his idol, BMX bike racing champion Dave Mirra.

Carmen considers using birth control, and George and Angie try to convince her not to sleep with her boyfriend.

Ernie considers marrying a troubled woman, and George risks their friendship to keep him from making a huge mistake.

When Dan goes head to head with a barroom bully, Roseanne's birthday bash for him at the Lobo Lounge is more of a disaster than a party; Roseanne, angry over Dan breaking a promise never to fight again, storms out of the bar.

Roseanne is tired of seeing Dan and his friends hanging out in the backyard every Saturday under the guise of fixing Dan's truck; she makes a bet with Dan that they can't stop wasting time long enough to fix the truck.

Fran dresses in drag to crash a men's club in order to stop Mr. Sheffield from using her boyfriend's stock tip.

Fran and C.C. (Fran Drescher, Lauren Lane) become trapped in the wine cellar during Fran's mother's (Renee Taylor) 50th birthday bash.

Child star Jack Walker decides to give up show business when Fran tells him he should be doing the things normal children do.

Sylvia (Renee Taylor) is offended when Fran (Fran Drescher) refuses to wear a mink coat she inherited from her Aunt Mimma. With Charles Shaughnessy.

Bob makes things worse after interfering in Goodwin and Kofo's ongoing spat; Abishola puts her pride on the line when she realizes she's been an inattentive friend to Kemi.

As Abishola begins studying for medical school, she offends Gloria with an insensitive comment about Gloria's own journey of almost becoming a doctor; Tunde schools a reluctant Bob on the art of home repair while helping to fix his dishwasher.

Malcolm's plan to renovate McGee's hits a snag when the contractor he hires knows Eddie from the Navy.

Tim agrees to help Malcolm find a doctor to remove his tattoo, as long as Malcolm takes Tim's sister out on a date.

Steve and Romeo (Steve Harvey, Merlin Santana) become rivals for the affections of a 25-year-old swimsuit model.

Rap artist Lil' Bow Wow (guest starring as himself) wants to sample an old hit of Steve's (Steve Harvey) group, the Hi-Tops. Jermaine Dupri and Ron Isley also guest star.

An old flame returns to pick up where she left off with Mark -- until Vanessa and Robin learn her real intentions.

Mark refuses to help a star athlete pass an algebra test until he learns the truth about his own academic success.

A cosmetics saleswoman from Queens (Fran Drescher) is hired to care for the children of a widowed, upscale Broadway producer (Charles Shaughnessy).

When Brighton (Benjamin Salisbury) is caught smoking at school, Fran (Fran Drescher) thinks it might be her fault. Carol Channing appears as herself.

Roseanne tries to quit smoking; helping Darlene gets Becky in trouble.

A family Thanksgiving is spoiled when Roseanne learns that her father is having an affair.

Roseanne and Jackie travel to Kansas City to see their father's girlfriend; Dan plans to beat up Becky's boss.

As a mall Santa, Roseanne learns Darlene blabbed family secrets.

George believes he has found his father, and he invites the man (Cheech Marin) to Thanksgiving Day dinner.

When Angie joins more charity organizations than she can handle, George and the family help her get things under control.

Angie's parents visit for Christmas and continue to make George feel like he is not good enough for their daughter.

Benny's bathroom is falling apart, and Angie tries to convince George that if he fixes it up for her, she'll be grateful to him for once in his life.

Marcy leads a campus-wide protest at Bud's college after her ex-husband, Steve, expels a student for speaking his mind.

Unless Peg's parents patch things up, the only woman in Bud's new love palace will be his grandmother.

Al gets more women than he can handle when an aerobics studio opens next door.

Buck passes away, leaving a heartbroken Kelly to find a new pet.

Al forms a church with his beer-drinking buddies as a means to avoid paying taxes.

Much to Al's horror, his new baldness remedy also turns out to be a love potion.

When their neighbor passes away, Carrie convinces Doug it would be a smart investment to buy the house and sell it for profit.

Carrie and Doug decide marriage counseling is in order and turn to their neighbor for help, but his techniques only make things worse.

Doug tries to impress new driver Jared when he learns he was the only one at IPS not invited to Jared's barbecue.

Carrie learns that in the beginning of their relationship Doug lied to her about getting a job at IPS so she would sleep with him.

Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.

After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.

For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.

Charlie realizes Jake's classmates know the words to all of his jingles, and he is inspired to craft the fourth-grade musical with unusual results.

George is unhappy with Max's less-than-compassionate dentist so he asks his bosses to change the company dental plan.

George tries to get Max help in school by telling his long-lost sister, Linda, who is the superintendent of schools, that she was given up for adoption at birth.

When a major earthquake shakes Los Angeles, George's repressed childhood fears resurface. Despite a positive assessment of the house from a contractor, George refuses to go back in, and he and Carmen set up a tent in the backyard.

When Benny demands cash for a box of George's childhood mementos, George learns some painful truths about his boyhood.