Laff TV (DISH) (LAFF)

An inept student offers to kill the ex-wife of his professor in exchange for the teacher murdering the student's mother. (Repeat).

When ALF and Willie go prospecting for gold in the desert, the alien surroundings take their toll on them. Kate: Anne Schedeen. Lynn: Andrea Elson. Brian: Benji Gregory. (Repeat).

Concerned about losing another planet, ALF sends angry letters to a corporate polluter, which leads to a lawsuit and a big headache for Willie. Steve Michaels: Dan Castellaneta. Willie: Max Wright. (Repeat).

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Brad throws himself into his new job at a sporting-goods store, but Jill and Tim worry that it's becoming his top priority. Rob: Mitch Rouse. Holly: Caroline Keenan. Brad: Zachery Ty Bryan. Jason: Jarrad Paul. Tim: Tim Allen. Jill: Patricia Richardson. (Repeat).

Tim objects to the plans the new owners have for his boyhood home. Lucille: Bonnie Bartlett. Marty: William O'Leary. The Burtons: Leslie Bibb, Jim Pirri. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Tim: Tim Allen. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

After Jill chastises Tim for buying a saleswoman's flirtatious act, she's caught flirting (albeit subconsciously) to get out of a ticket. Matthews: Rick Lenz. Off. Hiller: Mike Starr. Patty: Tammy Lauren. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).

Randy is teased at school after Mark intervenes in his scuffle with a bully; and the Beach Boys visit their cousin Wilson. Lauren: Courtney Peldon. Eric: Josh Paddock. Randy: Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

"Tool Time" is taped in front of Swedish buyers who are considering the show for the European market. Sy: Drew Carey. Fred: Harry Groener. June: Gretchen German. Director: Peter Bonerz. Bjorn: Craig Richard Nelson. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

A singer hints that she had an affair with Tim's father; Tim forgets where he hid Jill's Valentine's Day gift. Liddy: Anne Francis. Tina: Janeane Garofalo. Mel: Anthony Russell. Tim: Tim Allen. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Al: Richard Karn. (Repeat).

After a critic declares performance artist Wilson out of touch with reality, the Taylors' neighbor decides to be more like...Tim. Wilson: Earl Hindman. Stuart: Robert Forrest. Benny: Jim Labriola. Harry: Blake Clark. (Repeat).

The night before his wedding, Al expresses doubts about whether Ilene is right for him. Al: Richard Karn. Ilene: Sherry Hursey. Patty: Tammy Lauren. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Harry: Blake Clark. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).

Jim thinks he can bond with Kyle over sports, but he must go to extremes after his son has more in common with sci-fi enthusiast Andy. Former NFL star William "The Refrigerator" Perry guest stars. (Repeat).

Jim gets an unexpected monetary reward for his charity work, but when Cheryl wants him to give it back, he decides to spend it on an expensive item for her. (Repeat).

Eve posts Mike's video blog on her social-media page and her classmates balk at his views, but she stands by her dad. Meanwhile, the Baxters land in hot water when a local cop patrols the area. (Repeat).

Boyd acts restless at school, prompting his teacher to recommend ADHD medication for him. Elsewhere, Mandy turns a new leaf regarding schoolwork and devotes a significant amount of time to studying. (Repeat).

Boyd's school may undergo a name change following Boyd's eye-opening report on its namesake. Elsewhere, Mandy turns to Blanca for assistance with a class project. (Repeat).

Roses arrive anonymously at the Baxter home on Valentine's Day, and there are several suspects. However, Mike is not among them, because he gifts Vanessa with a Taser. (Repeat).

Nathan asks Tom to spend the weekend with him in order to find something they have in common. Meanwhile, Carol stays with Mikayla when Debbie and Adam attend a vegetarian convention, and accidentally turns her upraising upside down. (Repeat).

Nathan relaxes on vacation in the Bahamas, until Carol makes a surprise, unwelcome visit. Meanwhile, Debbie gets upset with Adam when she learns that he used to write love songs for the special girls in his life when he was younger. (Repeat).

Kate has her first date, igniting Adam's protective ways. Also: Don searches for an anniversary gift for Marcy and asks Lowell to help. (Repeat).

Adam's parents visit and deliver surprising plans for their future living arrangement. (Repeat).

After their parking-lot fender bender, Jim and a shopping-mall Santa get into a fight, witnessed by Jim's horrified kids. Santa: Bruce Jarchow. Elf: Tim Kazurinsky. Kyle: Connor Rayburn. Gracie: Billi Bruno. Ruby: Taylor Atelian. (Repeat).

Jim befriends his obnoxious neighbors when he believes they bring good luck when he's watching the Chicago Bulls. Cindy: Cynthia Stevenson. Tim: Tim Bagley. Andy: Larry Joe Campbell. Cheryl: Countney Thorne-Smith. Dana: Kimberly Williams-Paisley. (Repeat).

Jim's nanny-cam shows no dirt on a new sitter, but instead reveals a secret held by Cheryl, who retaliates with her own spyware on Jim. Mrs. Nelson: Barbara Dodd Remsen. Cheryl: Courtney Thorne-Smith. Dana: Kimberly Williams-Paisley. (Repeat).

Dana's new boyfriend not only takes advice on women from Jim, but also uses it, quickly making him an old boyfriend. Ryan: Mitch Rouse. Chip: Chad Brokaw. Dana: Kimberly Williams-Paisley. Cheryl: Courtney Thorne-Smith. (Repeat).

The Taylor males plan to cram in vacation fun during a weekend trip to Jill's cousin's wedding. Bonnie: Bonnie Hellman. Tim: Tim Allen. Brad: Zachery Ty Bryan. Randy: Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Jill: Patricia Richardson. (Repeat).

Binford Tools' new owner has big plans for "Tool Time"---but not for Al. Bud: Charlie Robinson. Tim: Tim Allen. Jill: Patricia Richardson. (Repeat).

Tim reads too much between the lines when Jill bonds with a man in her book-discussion group. Carol: Ja'net DuBois. Sharon: Stephanie Dunnam. Jane: Terri Cavanaugh. Jill: Patricia Richardson. (Repeat).

Tim is sure he can surprise Jill by throwing her birthday party two weeks early, but she surprises him---by leaving town. Henry: Tracy Letts. Jill: Patricia Richardson. Marie: Mariangela Pino. Al: Richard Karn. Wilson: Earl Hindman. Tim: Tim Allen. (Repeat).