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Carrie reminds Doug of a past incident at their first house when he wants to buy a chainsaw from an infomercial.

After hearing of possible layoffs at her law firm, Carrie begins to worry about her own job security; Doug loses Deacon's lucky Koosh ball.

Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.

When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.

Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.

Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.

When a major earthquake shakes Los Angeles, George's repressed childhood fears resurface. Despite a positive assessment of the house from a contractor, George refuses to go back in, and he and Carmen set up a tent in the backyard.

When Benny demands cash for a box of George's childhood mementos, George learns some painful truths about his boyhood.

Wedding singers (Robert Rodriguez and Chingon, and William Hung) audition when George comes up with a plan for Angie's dream wedding.

Max's online romance with a Chicago woman (Chloe Suazo) leads George to assume Max's identity to try to protect him from an online predator.

Roseanne, determined to fit into a pair of old jeans, ropes Dan into another dieting attempt; the pair ramps up their exercise regime but quickly start sneaking snacks.

Jackie and her new romance seem to be getting serious; Roseanne interferes by trying to explain to Jackie how to behave in the new relationship.

Fran casts Grace as the lead in the school pageant, but when Maxwell becomes the producer the girl develops stage fright.

Maxwell's ex-girlfriend, a 1960s supermodel, decides that Maggie has what it takes and arranges a photo session.

When a plumber brings his granddaughter along to fix the Sheffield's broken shower, Brighton gets his first kiss.

After examining Grace for the flu, the doctor checks Fran's throat and schedules her for a tonsillectomy.

When Gloria goes on vacation, Abishola takes charge of the nursing staff, but quickly falls short as the job requires "people skills"; with Abishola busy at the hospital, the Wheelers try to cope with her temporary absence.

When Dottie moves her husband Max's urn into Bob and Abishola's living room, everyone is forced to confront their views on death and the afterlife; Goodwin pits Douglas and Kofo against each other in a battle for Dottie's vacant MaxDot office.

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Fran (Fran Drescher) plays up a meeting with Chevy Chase (guest starring as himself) to make Maxwell (Charles Shaughnessy) jealous.

The orphan whom Fran and Val adopted for a grade-school project looks them up while visiting the United States.

A practical joke contest results in wedding plans that could make Al a bigamist.

A hurricane forces everyone into the Bundy basement, trapping the men with their storm-excited wives.

Al discovers the store's shoes are made in a sweatshop and tries using blackmail to get a raise.

A morality clause in the "Extra Extra Virgin Olive Oil" girl contract requires Kelly to refrain from sex.

Doug gets annoyed after Carrie loses her job, becomes extremely unmotivated and lazes around the house.

After Arthur wins $2,500 playing bingo, a dispute erupts over how the money should be spent; Doug wants to purchase golf clubs, while Carrie would like to go to a day spa.

Roseanne and Jackie stop speaking to each other because of Jackie's new romance.

After they are both involved in a fender bender, Roseanne tells her former employer, Mrs. Wellman, a thing or two.

Dan and Roseanne are in a panic to get their tax returns filed by deadline.

Roseanne forces Dan to take Becky to the mall to bond with her as she tries to bond with Darlene.

Roseanne wants to become a writer but can't find a quiet place to work.

The Conner family and friends await the results of Roseanne's home pregnancy test.

George enrolls in college to set a positive example for Max after he catches the boy skipping school.

George drops out of school when it gets tough, but he finds it hard to hide that fact from the family when his professor (Ming-Na) drops by to check on him.

When Max starts wetting the bed, the family learns he needs surgery that will help him avoid kidney disease in the future.

George's former sister-in-law dies, leaving George in charge of her 20-year-old daughter and her very large inheritance.

A radio show will give Peg $1,000 to seduce Al during lunch hour.

Al and Kelly try to win money by becoming contestants on a sports trivia show.

While trying to return an item, Al is trapped in a department store.

Al is required to carpool with women from one of the mall's lingerie stores.

After losing Marcy's money in a stock deal, Jefferson tries to raise the cash by betting on a football game.

Trouble follows when Al gives a model a free pair of '70s-style shoes in exchange for an advertisement.

Carrie catches Doug fantasizing about other women while he is under sedation at the hospital. Steffiana De La Cruz and Angelo Pagan guest star.

Carrie, still unemployed, helps Holly with dog walking; Arthur sells his burial plot to Spence's mother, Veronica (Anne Meara).

Judith leaves Jake with Alan and Charlie while she spends a week in Hawaii, and the guys find that caring for Jake on a daily basis is much different from weekend visits.

While in a precarious position with a woman, Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan, a chiropractor, help him; after Alan drives Charlie to the doctor's office, Charlie is surprised to learn that his physician died four years ago, and a female, Dr. Michelle Talmadge, has replaced him; Berta teaches Jake a lesson.

When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.

Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.

George takes over planning a wedding for one of Angie's very high-maintenance clients (Eva Longoria) in order to prove he can do her job better than she can.

Benny is furious when she discovers that George has rigged the results of a productivity contest at the factory against her. Upset because Angie agrees with Benny, George goes drinking with Ernie.

George finds out the factory is moving to Mexico; Benny flees when the police want to question her about an old robbery; Angie awaits the results of a home pregnancy test.

George and Angie decide to have "the talk" with Max when a sexual predator moves into the neighborhood.